-----Immortal love-----

[urs4evasomdev]

Those killer instincts that a woman can die for,
That caring attitude a woman can cry for,
you have the sweet tender touch a woman can lie for,
you have the perfect smile a woman cannot say goodbye to,

Whenever I wake up seeing you beside me,
I feel the warmth and security & become the happiest woman alive,
When I feel the touch of your arms around me,
As if a python with its strength, not letting go of its prey,

Its crazy how I feel eccentric when you stare at me with ur eyes,
Like I’m standing on top of a high mountain and experiencing its serenity,
And we have been too strong for too long,
Now it seems impossible to be without you baby,

The intermittent looks of your sweet but bewildering smerk,
Makes me touch the 7th heaven and never return to earth,
Every night when ur late,
Ill be waking up until you get home,

Whoever’s there loving someone, who knows just how I feel,
Too hard to fake it, and nothing can replace it,
The connection of twins is how I feel with you sometimes,
Its crazy how feelings can be so replicated for times indefinite,

I know my words are not enough to show how I feel,
I know my love is not enough to thank you enough,
And you will forget that there was ever a girl who loved you as I do,
Maybe everlasting is not what our love is meant to be,

But immortal is my love, affection and passion for you,
And deep down you know that our love is true……

I wud love to see the reviews for the poem and accept all the criticsm!

[Tosha]

hmm... nice expression of ones feelings ... have given a clear picture of love and the feelings that arise in love within you ... and sorry might be a lil personal it shows dedication to your lover ... good!!

[urs4evasomdev]

hmm... nice expression of ones feelings ... have given a clear picture of love and the feelings that arise in love within you ... and sorry might be a lil personal it shows dedication to your lover ... good!!

thank u tosha for ur kind words!

[ranjeet_rp]

i havent say a women praising a men so beautifuly in this forum till yet.it is a poem which told the true feeling of a lovely women for her beloved.a women always wants trust from her spouse.trust that he will love and care for her all her life.a women want to became the mother of a child only from that man who cares for her and love her very much.so this poem is the true feeling of a women and her love towards her beloved.nice poem...............

[urs4evasomdev]

i havent say a women praising a men so beautifuly in this forum till yet.it is a poem which told the true feeling of a lovely women for her beloved.a women always wants trust from her spouse.trust that he will love and care for her all her life.a women want to became the mother of a child only from that man who cares for her and love her very much.so this poem is the true feeling of a women and her love towards her beloved.nice poem...............

thank you ranjeet for understanding the fellings that i was trying to bring out through the poem, no matter how much i praise my beloved, there somehow seems space for more!
Thank you very much for ur review of Immortal love!

[niraj_191]

My mind and heart have distinct view:
mind says, she is crazy about her love and complete faith on him. That much amount of love and faith that she can not explain in her poem then how can i explain??

heart cannot say anything after reading this poem heart is going to be
silent and now searching such love.

[urs4evasomdev]

My mind and heart have distinct view:
mind says, she is crazy about her love and complete faith on him. That much amount of love and faith that she can not explain in her poem then how can i explain??

Heart cannot say anything after reading this poem heart is going to be
silent and now searching such love.

niraj honey that was sooooooooooo sweet!
THANK U SO MUCH FOR THINKING SO BEAUTIFULLY OVER MY POEM!

[Naya_Daur]

Its Really a beautiful poem.The Poet(Minu) is trying to express her love to him( her beloved).She is completely crazy about him.His looks,His nature n every thing. Every Move done by him is a special moment for her.But she is out of words to express her love,,

In the closing Lines,Poet ,,compiled the poem in very few lines,,If she could have elaborated it to 4-6 lines instead of 2 ,It would be a close to perfect ending.Although closing is done very effectively but ,in my views, its short

[urs4evasomdev]

Its Really a beautiful poem.The Poet(Minu) is trying to express her love to him( her beloved).She is completely crazy about him.His looks,His nature n every thing. Every Move done by him is a special moment for her.But she is out of words to express her love,,

In the closing Lines,Poet ,,compiled the poem in very few lines,,If she could have elaborated it to 4-6 lines instead of 2 ,It would be a close to perfect ending.Although closing is done very effectively but ,in my views, its short

Jeet,
Thank u so much sweetie for ur review of "Immortal Love"
I wanted to rectify something you said about me running out of words to express my love for my beloved!
I have written-----

I know my words are not enough to show how I feel,
I know my love is not enough to thank you enough,

In this I have said that no amount of words can express my love for my      beloved, no poetry,  prose or amount of vocabulary can express how my heart feels for him, and I have certainly not run out of words but can keep speaking rather time won’t allow me to do so.

I have certainly seen what you meant by the ending,
And have taken ur suggestion and done so, and also rectified a few other things.....................
I hope I have still done justice to my love and this poem………â-------Immortal Love--------

Those killer instincts that a woman can die for,
That caring attitude a woman can cry for,
You have the sweet tender touch a woman can lie for,
You have the perfect smile a woman cannot say goodbye to,

Whenever I wake up seeing you beside me,
I feel the warmth and security which you radiate & become the happiest woman alive,
When I feel the touch of your arms around me,
As if a python with its strength, not letting go of its prey,

Its crazy how I feel eccentric when you stare at me with ur eyes,
Like I’m standing on top of a high mountain and experiencing its serenity,
And we have been too strong for too long,
Now it seems impossible to be without you baby,

The intermittent looks of your sweet but bewildering smerk,
Makes me touch the 7th heaven and never return to earth,
Every night when ur late, and tell me not to wait,
Ill be rebeliant and be waking up until you get home,

Whoever’s there loving someone, who knows just how I feel,
Too hard to fake it, and nothing can replace it,
The connection of twins is how I feel with you sometimes,
Its crazy how feelings can be so replicated for times indefinite,

I know my words are not enough to show how I feel,
I know my love is not enough to thank you for all that you have done for me,
And you will forget that there was ever a girl who loved you the same way which i will forget too,
Because of death, Everlasting is not what our love is meant to be,

The creation of our two young ones will let this world see,
Our love for each other will eternally, forever be,
The infatuation and attraction we feel for each other,
Inseperable and insatiable love, which can never be satisfied,
Immortal is my love, affection and passion for you,
And deep down you know that our love is true……

[Naya_Daur]

I am not opposing that You dont have enough words to complete your poem,,In fact I am trying to describe that lines which you had written . your love cant be expressed in few lines. The First paragraph which i had posted down is your idea,which you r trying to say..

Its Really a beautiful poem.The Poet(Minu) is trying to express her love to him( her beloved).She is completely crazy about him.His looks,His nature n every thing. Every Move done by him is a special moment for her.But she is out of words to express her love,,

In the closing Lines,Poet ,,compiled the poem in very few lines,,If she could have elaborated it to 4-6 lines instead of 2 ,It would be a close to perfect ending.Although closing is done very effectively but ,in my views, its short

Jeet,
Thank you so much sweetie for ur review of "Immortal Love"
I wanted to rectify something you said about me running out of words to express my love for my beloved!
I have written-----

I know my words are not enough to show how I feel,
I know my love is not enough to thank you enough,

[/b]

and

Dear,, FIRST ONE IS BETTER

[urs4evasomdev]

I am not opposing that You dont have enough words to complete your poem,,In fact I am trying to describe that lines which you had written . your love cant be expressed in few lines. The First paragraph which i had posted down is your idea,which you r trying to say..

Jeet honey,

U mentioned in ur post that I was out of words to express my love
Whereas I had tried to express a different point of view,
In the poem I said that words can never be enough to express my love,
Now there are different meanings to it,

1stly my point of view - Words are only words and they can never express the love one person feels for their beloved,

2ndly what I understood of what you said -  burning_desires ji (I was out of words to express my love)

Two different meanings, if you can see what I mean ………….
Anyways if also you are saying that I meant by my poem that my love cannot be expressed in few lines,
I hold a different picture, what I meant by those lines was that words can never be enough to express my love……………….

And thank you honey for liking my first poem,
I believe in both my poems, because the same amount of love and care shines thru……….

Thank you honey for taking out time to review my poem…………

[vikas2210]

minu

Seriously I read your first poen many times over and still not able to understand depth of your deepness and the softness of the love. The reflection of love both in tangible and intangible terms is vast as the span of universe.

The lines are so infatuating that it makes me go inside of myself and makes me remembering my love my sweet heart.

The words are so soft as if somebody is sitting with you and whispering so softly that you are the only one who can listen like a your hearbeat.

Minu I will really appreciate if you can mail me this. I want this to be kept with me and read whenever I am alone..

Really very good. The end lines of first one is still better and leave hungry for more. The hungryness in one is I know gives birth to greed and in love greed has a place and also has no place. But still hungryness is better than fullness as hungryness also creat no satisfaction and always one is wanting more and more.

Thus love is never satisfaction but always demand more either you give or get.


Take care and keep posting your heart out sweety.. love u Cutie

[urs4evasomdev]

Vikas honey,

Thanx so much for taking out soooooo much time for my poem!
Its really nice to see all the reviews and encouragement,
I never knew my poem brought out such depth and passion and that ppl can actually notice dat thru my poem, thanx for not being too harsh on me or my poem.

I think ur review of my poem is actually better than my poem :lol:
Ur kind words have really touched my heart and have inspired and encouraged me to write more..........
I will surely mail it to u honey!
I agree with you the first one is better, but all i tried to do was satisfy my reviews, and it was just an attempt.
both the poems are close to me!

 u take care tooo

[sweet_raabii]

hey Minu i've no words to appreciate your poem, but
i'm sure every women who is in Love has the same FEELINGS.....

[urs4evasomdev]

Hello rabii,

thanx for having no words for my poem..........
but i certainly do wish......... u had a few!

I dont know whther every woman who is in love feels the same way or not and personally i am so stubborn that i do not even feel that anyone can love someone the way i love my beloved but i still in trying to explain my feelings to others say that !"

Whoever's there loving somone, who knows just how i feel,
To hard to fake it and nothing can replace it

But thanx for ur honest and short review
saved my time as well :lol:

Take care honey!
God bless[/b]