Likhna Mera******:Critics and Review only Forum

Pooja

Guest

Choti choti si baato ka afsaana ban gaya
Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayrana ban gaya

Dil mai ayye zazbaato ko shabdo mai utara hai
Man mai aai peera ko, dil se nikala hai
Peera aor zazbaato ka taraana ban gaya
Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayrana ban gaya!!

Jhoom kar jab kabhi, koi khayal sajaya
Khud ko sajane ka phir is man mai ayya
Apne khawabo ko shabdo mai jo sajaya
Un shabdo ka duniya se taana phir ayya

Khud ko sajana, khawab-e-hasrat ban kar rah gaya
Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayrana ban gaya!!

Her ek zazbaat ke rang ki holi
Aor duniya ki yah tikhi-mithi boli
Kon kis bhesh mai kheile yah toli
Apni to wahin bhir khali ek jholi!!!

Khali is jholi se, dastan-e-nagma ban gaya
Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayrana ban gaya!!

Likhati hu jab bhi, khud se kheil jaati hu
Apne hi shabdo se, bhed rakh jaati hu
Dard in shabdo mai, mere lahoo se atta hai
Armaano ka rang, tanhaaiyo se atta hai

Likhana Mera, jurm-e-aourtana ban gaya
Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayrana ban gaya!!

For comments: http://www.yoindia.com/shayariadab/miscellaneous-shayri/likhna-mera-t17407.0.html


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Rajesh Harish

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #1 on: July 11, 2009, 08:58:29 AM »

Nice one Pooja Ji


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jasbirsingh

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #2 on: July 11, 2009, 09:04:25 AM »

wah Pooja ji, wah ...aap ney sahi hi kaha hai

aap key dil sey likha ek shabd bhi shairana ho jata hai
andaaz aap ka hamey yeh bahut hi pyara nazar aata hai
mil jaye baharoh sey koi khushboo pyar ki
aap ka likha, andheroh meh ujala nazar aata hai

Jasbir Singh
hira_company@yahoo.com


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deepika_divya

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #3 on: July 11, 2009, 09:14:57 AM »

THIS IS CRITICS AND REVIEW FORUM. PLEASE CHECK RULES AND REGULATION BEFORE POSTING ANY COMMENT HERE.

Only explanation , review with critics allowed. No short appreciation .

As Pooja Di already given the link for Comments..

Sophi


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ANAAMIKA

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #4 on: July 11, 2009, 09:37:48 AM »

Poojaji...aapne word "shayrana" USE KIYA...
GENERALLY shayrana tou mizaj hota hai...khayal hota hai...
kavita tou Shayari hoti hai...
"Likhna mera, duniya kahti hai shayari ban gaya!!"
jayada achha nahi hota kya...?
"ATTA" WORD KYA hai ?
I mean kya arth hai... ek tou simple meaning "comes" tou "aata" theek legega
ya you have used as meaning "lipta hua" fully mixed ?

Quote from: Pooja on July 10, 2009, 04:55:48 PM


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SARVESH RASTOGI

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #5 on: July 11, 2009, 04:32:56 PM »

Kya khoob likha hai Pooja ji
wah, dil khush ho gaya, behtareen
SARVESH RASTOGI


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Pooja

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #6 on: July 13, 2009, 04:46:36 PM »

Quote from: ANAAMIKA on July 11, 2009, 09:37:48 AM

bahoot bahoot shukaria Anaamika ji, jo apne meri galtio ki taraf mera dhayan dilwaya... in short mera bachpan Urdu, Hindi, punjabi and English bhashao ke bich beeta hai aor result main Meri apni bhasha ek mix bhasha ban kar rah gai... kai baar jo shabd nahi bhi hote mai bana deti hu sirf rythem ko sahi rakhne ke liye ya phir mujhe wo jayada arth samjhane ke liye thik lagte hai...

jab insaan her baat ka jawab shayri mai dene lage... aor khayalo main her baat shayri ka roop lene lage... to usko shayrana he kaha jayega...

Agge se likhte waqat shabdo per dhayan dene ki kopshish karugi.. magar meri problem yah hai ki mere man mai khayal atte hai aor mai bina ruke ek he flow main bas likhe chale jaati hu..jo bhi man mai ayya... aor phir use wause he original rahne deti hu ... baad main parr kar kuch bhi change nahi karti..


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injured.warrior

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #7 on: July 13, 2009, 05:52:23 PM »

behtareen lines Applause


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Pooja

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #8 on: July 16, 2009, 04:49:09 PM »

Please see Ricky's Post in this thread. Jis tarah se Ricky ne Kavita ko apne shabdo main bayan kiya hai ki Pooja apni kavita main kaya kahna chah rahi hai.. ussi tarah se is section mai likhi kavita ko hum sab ne apne shabdo main bayan karna hai ki Hume kavita parr kar kaya arth samjh aaye hai...

http://www.yoindia.com/shayariadab/critics-and-review-only-forum/tumko-jo-baharo-mai-dekha-hota-example-thread-t14898.0.html


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Pooja

Guest

Re: Likhna Mera******

«Reply #9 on: July 18, 2009, 09:16:52 PM »

bahoot bahoot shukaria Kaash ji, apne waqat dekar kavita ko parra, samjha aor explain kiya.

appne bahoot had tak kavita ko sahi samjha hai.. ek baar phir se tahe dil se shukaria


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