shabnam si mahak

[@kaash]

shabnam si mahak jaise baaton me
phoolon si komalta aisi aakhon me

madhoshi kahen ya kahen beqaraari
khyaalaat bhi jhoome khushnuma aahon se

ulfat pe likhen ya sabab-e-ulfat pe
qatil har ada khumaari ke saayon me

[madhuwesh]

Very nice and beautiful creation Kaash ji.

[SARVESH RASTOGI]

Wah wah very nice

[Pooja]

Please see Ricky's Post in this thread. Jis tarah se Ricky ne Kavita ko apne shabdo main bayan kiya hai ki Pooja apni kavita main kaya kahna chah rahi hai.. ussi tarah se is section mai likhi kavita ko hum sab ne apne shabdo main bayan karna hai ki Hume kavita parr kar kaya arth samjh aaye hai...

http://www.yoindia.com/shayariadab/critics-and-review-only-forum/tumko-jo-baharo-mai-dekha-hota-example-thread-t14898.0.html

[Pooja]

School mai Kabir ji ke aor Tulsidaad ji ke doho ka sarlarth kiya karti thi .. uske baad ajj koshish karne lagi hu.. agar koi arth sahi na samjh saku to maaf kijiega. waise 5th line ka sarlarth mere liye mushkil hoga kyun ki bahoot gahri urdu mai likh gaye hai app...

shabnam si mahak jaise baaton me
phoolon si komalta aisi aakhon me

Yaha per kavi apni premika ko man mai rakhte hue uske vaktitave ka varnan kar rahe hi ki shabdnam ki tarah sundarta se bharpoor wo baate karti hai, jiski anubhuti ka aanad ek mehak ki tarah parteet hota hai. Aor uske ankho ki masumiyat is tarah jaise komal phool ho!!

madhoshi kahen ya kahen beqaraari
khyaalaat bhi jhoome khushnuma aahon se

yaha kavi kah rahe hai ki uski soch se se he ek khumari, ek madhoshi mehsoos hoti hai aor aise alam mai jaise uske khayalaat bhi madhosh ho jaate hai! jhumane lagte hai.

Bahoot achi lines lagi yah Kaash ji.. padne wala insaan in shabdo se such much madhoshi ka alam mehsoos karta hai..

ulfat pe likhen ya sabab-e-ulfat pe
qatil har ada khumaari ke saayon me

First line mere liye difficult hai phir bhi koshish karne lagi hu; Internet search main Ulfat is 'Lovely to be with'. so yahi arth smajh kar likhne lagi hu.

jiske sath rahna acha lagta hai, bahoot payara lagta hai, uske baare main jab likha jaata hai to wo waqat bhi bahoot pyara lagta hai.. jaise ki kavi kahna chah rahe ho ki jab wo sath nahi tab bas uske he khayalo main rahna kavi ko acha lagta hai. aor yah khumari ka jo waqat hai yah bhi bahoot he dilkash jaan leva hai jaise ki unki premika.

[Dr Maqsood Hasni]

wah ji wa kiya baat hai,
bohat khoob.

[Saba_Saba is back]

Very Nice Kaash Ji... Try karti hu samajhne ki

shabnam si mahak jaise baaton me
phoolon si komalta aisi aakhon me

Shayar apne mehboob me khoya hua hai aur yaha uski khubsurti bayan karta hai. Uski baato ko shabnam jaisi khushbu aur aankho ko phoolo jaisee nazuk kehta hai...

 

madhoshi kahen ya kahen beqaraari
khyaalaat bhi jhoome khushnuma aahon se

waah ....
yaha kehta hai ke usko sochte hi khumar aane lagta hai ... yeh uski yaad ki madhoshi hai ya mai hi bekarar hone laga hu ...

 

ulfat pe likhen ya sabab-e-ulfat pe
qatil har ada khumaari ke saayon me

yeh to kamal ki soch hai Kaash Ji...

Shayar yaha thode confusion ka izhar karta hai ... ke shayari likhein par kis par, mehboob ki mohabbat par ya mohabbat ki wajah par ... dono hi same hai kyunki unke mehboob ki har ada mohabbat k saye me qatil si lagti hai ...

hope justice kar payi hu

[~Hriday~]

Bahut khoob likha hai aapne Kaash ji...!!!

shabnam si mahak jaise baaton me
phoolon si komalta aisi aakhon me

madhoshi kahen ya kahen beqaraari
khyaalaat bhi jhoome khushnuma aahon se

ulfat pe likhen ya sabab-e-ulfat pe
qatil har ada khumaari ke saayon me

[Surindernarang]

Phoolon ki pankhdion jaise honth,
Shabnam ke katre nashili aankhon me,
Kafi hain madhosh karne ke liye,
Ek hum hi nahi, aur bhi hain marne ke liye.

[*KasaK*....Dil Ki]

shabnam si mahak jaise baaton me
phoolon si komalta aisi aakhon me

madhoshi kahen ya kahen beqaraari
khyaalaat bhi jhoome khushnuma aahon se

ulfat pe likhen ya sabab-e-ulfat pe
qatil har ada khumaari ke saayon me

bht khubbb ji..