..best valentine gift..:English

sanya310

Guest

people valentines day is over, but loves still in the air...heres a dream of mine..
might take u a lil time to understand it i guess...this is the first ive written which is a dialogue poem..

"Hello, May I know who is this?"
"Hey, its me...Mmwah gimme a kiss.."
"Oh! Its you, you sound different today.."
"Yeah babe, coz today's totally our day.."

"Hmm...Happy Valentine's day honey
Hope you're all set with the money"
"Well yea, the only thing missing is you.."
"I know sweetie, I'm missing you too.."

"Wish you were here, under my window
singing to me your serenade"
"Sure hon, one day to the world I'll show
this cute couple of ours, God has made.."

"So watchu doin right now, my P.B Shelly?"
"Hmm...was jus bored...was watching the telly
haha chek this bravo guy out
looking for a valentine hes searching all about.."

"Ok already! turn that box down!
Pick me up and we ll go for a round
"you neednt say one more word honey
jus come and look outside your balcony.."

"Huh! you're here... I dont believe you"
"okay then then dont complain when i leave you!"
"Noo..wait i ll just get ready
You dont move from there, jus stay steady.."

"aww you always look so fine to me
Its never the clothes...just your eyes Isee"
"true but thats jus the case for you
Here Im looking for a perfect date for you"

"Come right down hun
Cant wait nomore..
Whoaaa u look stunning!
Like a sexy sophomore!"

"Hmm...you dont look bad yourself..
Just like a cute umm...u look yourself!"
"You seem pretty excited babe, your eyes are showing.."
"Well yea i am....so where we going??"

"You love surprises sweetie,
thats what youre getting.."
"Hmm.. another night bowling..
Or the club Im betting.."

"Oh! Ive never seen this place before.."
"Come right with me ...You'll love it for sure.."
"This is suchaaa pretty place....Whats in theree??"
"A special treat for a special lady...and the love we share.."

"A candelight dinner....Hmm youre good at wooing..
Hey get up what are u doing?"
"Ive been waiting for this moment all my life
On my knees, I propose to you...will you be my wife??

"I promise to love you, with all my heart
I promise to give you all youre worth...
What happened honey...why dont u talk.."
"Wait hon...I'm just getting back to earth......."

i hope i havent disappointed people who dont approve of slang poems...


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urs4evasomdev

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #1 on: February 21, 2006, 11:45:54 AM »

hey lovd it man!
u rock gal!
ur poem took me in a totally new dimension.......
lovd it! wud love to try it out..........
and so i am doing..........

[the scenario is a guy whose trying to patau a gal (love at first sight) if there is any such thing]

"hey honey,"
"wat do u want?"
"Do u have a libraray card.."
"nope, y u asking?"
"COZ I WANNA CHECK U OUT"

"Go away! ur not funny
I am rite now in a hurry!
and u shud certainly not call me honey"

"ur waiting for the bus i can see!
come hop in my car...
i'll drive u off to wherever u wanna be!"

"no i cant! im waiting for my bf!
there he is!
i'll introduce u'll and then we shall see if"

"oh! no! is dat ur bf?
he is my friend!
i've known him since i cudnt say bb 'n' ffff"

"ok so u know him,
has he ever spoken about me?"

"no! he hasnt!
instead he himself has another gf!"
i am going! c u honey!
dont tell him u met me,
im sorry! to have acted rude!
i dint know u were his gal!"

"no wait! he is a big cheat!
come drive me off with you,
let us rite away leave!"

"ok! if u say so!
hop in! and we'll go!"

(they both drive off!)

bf-" who was that boy? and why did she see me
and just leave me!

boy in car-"ooo! today is a good day!
gals are foolish! i will now take her far away!

[gal is raped and killed....]

MORAL of the story-- never beleve a stranger! & trust the person u love!

no offence to anyone!
my first try in dialogue!
how is it sanya?


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sanya310

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #2 on: February 21, 2006, 11:53:45 AM »

its amazinggggg minu gosh that is js too good!!
and u wrote it in no time! ur good!! keep going girl..
this poems got a great msg in it! watch out gals..


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urs4evasomdev

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #3 on: February 21, 2006, 12:04:06 PM »

lol!
i just made it up as i went along
and tried to add a message!
thanx sanya!


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Tosha

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #4 on: February 22, 2006, 10:02:07 AM »

well i'll be honest.!

Sanya the poem is good ... i like the way you have written it ... though this is not the critic and explaination forum yet .... i liked the new method of writting the poem. The ryming is good and the thought is good too.

but i know you could have filled in a littel more emotions than you have.

GREAT Job

And Minu a brillient atempt.


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urs4evasomdev

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #5 on: February 22, 2006, 12:13:44 PM »

thanx tosha...........
and i agree
salma has done great rhyming


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natural

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #6 on: February 22, 2006, 12:37:38 PM »

Hey friends mujhey lagta hai..... Mera computer kharaab ho gaya hai.... Sabne Salma ki poem ki taarif ki hai....Lekin mujhey Salma ki poem dikhaayi hi nahi de rahi.... :D

Haan mujhey Sanya ki poem jaroor dikhayi di.... Very Well written Sanya.... and You too wrote very nice Minu.... :D


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Tosha

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #7 on: February 22, 2006, 01:04:25 PM »

aab to aap ko sanya dikhta hai na ... na ke salma.. Usual Smile


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urs4evasomdev

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #8 on: February 22, 2006, 01:24:04 PM »

thanx nattu!


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sanya310

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #9 on: February 23, 2006, 10:08:48 AM »

thanx tosha and nattu!
aur salma ki poem toh mujhe bhi nahi dikh rahi :- lagta hai minu ne sanya ki jagah salma likh diya lol
thnx nice comment tosha...it ws my first attempt..ill try to add more emotions next time Usual Smile


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natural

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #10 on: February 23, 2006, 12:16:52 PM »

Quote from: "Tosha"

aab to aap ko sanya dikhta hai na ... na ke salma.. Usual Smile

Haanji dikhta hai.... Ab aapney itna mehnat kiya to dikhega kaisey nahi..... :wink: Hum bhi sochein Salma poem likhkar gaayab kahan ho gayi.... :D :D

Oye sanya pehley hi bahut emotions ho gaye yaar.... abhi tak tears nahi sookhey.... :D aur haan Sania ki pics yaad hai na.... ya bhool gayi.... Mera sitara boley to bhamu .... usey shock lag jaayega yaar.... :D :D


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urs4evasomdev

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #11 on: February 24, 2006, 06:27:06 PM »

hey hey hey
SORRY!

THE CREDIT SHUD BE GIVEN TO SANYA NOT SALMA!
IM SO SO SORRY SANYA!
I GOT MIXD UP WITH NAMES!


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sanya310

Guest

..best valentine gift..

«Reply #12 on: March 02, 2006, 08:55:40 PM »

thats no prob Usual Smile


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