dhokha

by shabnam1801 on January 13, 2009, 02:58:07 PM
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shabnam1801
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Dekha jo us roz muskura ke,
Phr umer bhar rulaya us roz ki hasi ne......
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Roja
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«Reply #1 on: January 13, 2009, 03:20:02 PM »
hmm nice start... toda adhuri sa laga... maine 4 line add kiya hai.
Hope you wont mind.
======================================

Dekha jo us roz muskura ke
Phir umer ber rulaya us roz ki hassi ne..

Elan-e-jang hai zamane mein
Dunia lagi hai mujhe mitane mein

Yu toh sabhi bewafa hai zamane mein
Aisi dunia se "Roja" tera rishta kya hai?
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cara
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«Reply #2 on: January 13, 2009, 03:38:09 PM »
kya baat hai...shabnamji....

kash us roz use dekhkar,muskurakar moka nadiya hota,
kash usne  umer bar rulane ka, dhokha na diya hota.
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Pooja
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«Reply #3 on: January 13, 2009, 04:23:26 PM »
bahoot khoob shabnam ji, apka yoindia main swagat hai.

Nice addition Roja

Good lines cara ji
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #4 on: January 13, 2009, 07:09:10 PM »
Nice lines Shabnam Ji
Welcome to yoindia
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #5 on: January 14, 2009, 08:28:03 AM »
well said Shabnam and good continuation Roja and cara
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Roja
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«Reply #6 on: January 14, 2009, 11:56:32 AM »
Thanks Pooja didi and Sajid ji
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