ocean 11

by o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Miscellaneous Shayri > English > Topic: ocean 11

Pages: [1]

Author

(Read 924 times)

o star

Guest

feel the breeze of the ocean tide the waves crashin side to side feeling as if your n a roller coster ride how low can u scoop lower than the bottom of the ocean u no u call wat u wear fashion ive think uve lost ur passion


	Logged

Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
	A warm welcome to Ocean from all Yoindians by iAdmin in Tarruf Yoindia Sae : Give your Introduction
	Neelu--Love profound as Blue ocean....Sps by Sps in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq
	Saagar.. A deep frozen ocean by Ssaagar in Tarruf Yoindia Sae : Give your Introduction

o star

Guest

Re: ocean 11

«Reply #1 on: October 29, 2008, 09:48:19 PM »

Quote from: o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM


	Logged

dead heart

Guest

Re: ocean 11

«Reply #2 on: November 01, 2008, 09:28:34 PM »

Quote from: o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM

perhaps i dnt have the rite to crticize but ill say sumthn...please use the punctuation marks...to separate sentences and so dat each sentence gives it own meanin with its depth....


	Logged

sanya310

Guest

Re: ocean 11

«Reply #3 on: November 19, 2008, 05:39:55 PM »

heyy..thats a nice one..but i do agree with dead heart about the punctuation and seperating the lines u know..
do keep writing!

ps-*moved to proper section*