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javedarshad
Guest
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Internet Ka Ishq
Ishq kerne ke liye insaan ko dil ki nahin hausle ki zaroorat hoti hai. Ab ager Mashooq ke pass hausla hota hai to yeh hausla fauran hausla ban jata hai werna do chaar bar izzatafzaiee ke baad phir hausle ki kami nahin rahti.
Pehle zamaane ke ishq ki kahaniyan zara mukhtalif hua karti theen. Jaise Heer Ranjha, Laila Majnu ke zamaane ke ishq ajeeb hua karte the. Mehboob ki zara si jhalak dekhli aur aashiq ho gaye. Woh jhalak chahe jisme natawaN ki ho, chahe rashe daraz ki ho, mukhrooti oongliyon ki ho, subuk raftari ki ho, chapal ki khubsoorti ki ho, ya paye behangam ki ho. Yeh sab apni apni pasand aur nazar ki baat hai. Ab jis ko jo cheez bha jaiye. Phir mehboob ke husool ke liye chahe pahad khod ne pade, nahrain nikaal ni paden, ya phir kakdiyan, Laila ki mukhrooti oongliyon ke tasavvur mein baichni padenAashiq gareeb ko kin kin marhaloon aur duar se guzar na padta tha jis ka aap ko aaj ke daur mein andaza nahin ho sakta. Aur akhir mein anjaam wahi dhak ke teen paat. Yani ghareeb ya to pahad se chalang laga de ya mehbooba ke humrah gharqe dariya ho jaye. (Us zamaane mein phansi lagane ka shaid rawaj na tha aur nahi khudkash hamle eejad hue the.) Aur yehi wajah thi ke us zamaane ke aashiq aashiqe kamil kabhi na ban sake.
To huzoor, zamaane barq raftari se taraki ke marahel tai karta gaya aur ishq bhi usi raftar se apne andaaz badal ta hua aaj internet ke daud mein arasta pairasta ho gaya. Aaj aashiq ko phasne, maaf ki jiye ga, aashiq banane ke liye mashooq ke paas do muhliq hatyaar ashd zaroori hain. Pehla churp zabani aur doosri oongliyon ka supersonic andaaz mein keyboard pe daudna. Agar khuda na kare kisi mehboob ya mashooqa mein yeh do dilkash adayein nahi hain, to anjaam ghaur talab ho jata hai. Ya to mehboob chin jata hai ya phir mashooqa ko tez raftar aashiq le ud ta hai. Kyun ke net per ek saath kai aashiq kismat azmai karte hote hain. Ab musibat yeh hai ke ab na aashiq ko na mehbooba ko aankh ke ishare se bula sakte hain na adain dikha ker rijha sakte hain nahi kana phoosi ker ke dil hi bure ker sakte hain. Jo hatyaar hai bas charp zabani aur toofan raftar oongliyan.
Bas jisne zaban ya oongliyon ka sahi istemal ker liya, usne maidan sar ker liya. Aap bhi mere is ghair manoos aur belutf tameed se nala hon ge. Ab main internet ke ishq ki taraf chalta hoon.
Mere ek bahut hi sharifunn nafs aur kisi had tak aql se paidal dost ishq mein giraftar ho gaye. Ab chat ho rahi hai, raat ke do baj gaye. Subah se shaam ho gayee. Na ghareeb oongliyon pe rahem khate hain, na apne haal pe. Jis raftar se waqt chalta hai, us se kai guna speed se oongliyan gardish karti hain. Na waqt ruk sakta hai na unki oongliyan. Ab woh na khane pe saath, na gane mein saath, na maikhane mein saath, na hi dana daalne mein saath. Ajeeb meri pareshani. Is achche khase shaks ko kya ho gaya hai. Achcha khasa saand sa admi sookh sookh ker chuhara hua jata hai. Na mere khayal na ghar ka khayal nahi naukri ka khayal. Ab dosti bhi koi cheez hoti hai. Ya Allah majra kya hai. Badi mehnat ke baad pata chala ke hazrat ko internet par kisi kaniya se ishq ho gaya hai. Unhoon ne ishq ko internet mania bata diya. Bhai yeh kaisa mania hai jo 24 ghante mein 26 ghante masroof rake. Bhai kuch to girah kholo. Aap sach batain is mania ka naam kya hai. Aap to iske chakkar mein na ghar ke na ghat ke. Badi taal matool ke baad pata chala ke unko internet ishq ho gaya hai. Badi hasrat aur khamoshi se bataya ke mujhe ishq ho gaya hai. Are bhai is mein kaunsi nayee baat hai. Javaan ho, khubsoorat ho, padhe likhe ho, dil bhi rakte ho. Aap ko ishq nahi ho ga to kya kutte, billiun ko ho ga. Is me aisi udaasi ya mayusi ki kya baat hai. Kaun hai, uska naam pata batao, milwao. Tumhe sharm aati hai to dost phir kis din kaam aayenge. Chat mangni, pat biah. Hame bhi khane ka aram ho jaye ga aur kabhi kabhi hum bhi hans bool liya karenge. Waise kabhi na kabhi to bali ka bakra to banna hi hai.
Hazrat bole, are yaar yehi to pareshani hai, mil hi to nahin sakte. Woh England mein rehti aur main samundar ke is par Canada mein rehta hoon. Maine poocha, bhai yeh kaisa hawai ishq hai jo itni door se itna shadeed qism ka hai ke aap khud ko bhule hain. Kya ladki ko dekha hai, kuch to batain. Woh bole, are yaar dekha kahan hai sirf net pe baat hoti hai. Woh kambakth webcam istemal hi nahin karti. Waise ba khuda qasam badi pyaari, maheen si awaz jaise koyal kook rahi ho. Bahut hi meethi aur lacheche daar baatein, bas admi deewana ho jaye. Zaban se kya sheereen kalmaat ada karti hai ke bas seedhe dil mein utar jaate hain. Ab maine bhi kasam kha li hai ke shaadi karun ga, to bas Neelufar se. Aur woh bhi sab kuch karne per utaru hai. Kehti hai, abhi kaho, main apni building se chalang laga ker, mohabbat ka saboot pesh karoon. Maine kaha, miyan dair kis baat ki hai. 6 ghante ki flight hai, tum chale jao ya usko dawat do. Baqi kaam hamara.
Jaise taise inko samjhaya, ya to tum uska photo mangalo, ya usko yahan hi bula lo. Chalo kiraya main de doon ga. Akhir tumhara dost hoon aur dost hota hi hai zibah hone ke liye. Ab inko ek hafta hone ko aaya aur inka koi pata hi nahi. Ek hafte baad, bade sharmaye se gulnar sa chehra, banchain kuli, daant jaise bas girne wale. Fauran hanpte hue bole, yaar apne jaisa kaha tha, maine usko aane ki dawat de dali. Aur Allah ne sab theek raka to, to doosre hafte woh yahan pahunch jaye gee. Theek hai aane do, inshallah sab theek thaak ho jaye ga. Ab tum uske aane aur shaadi ki khushi mein do char din sukoon se so raho. Are yaar, magar uske valdain keh rahe hain ke shaadi ho gee to England mein. Humne kaha chalo dekha jaye ga, aane do. Kaunsa Europe door hai, chale jayein ge. Mere dost ka ghar bas jaye, to ek dost ka haq ada ho jaye ga. Jis din plane aane wala tha, kuch na poochye kya ehtimam tha. Kambakth plane bhi araha tha, shaam ko saat baje. Din ka koi ghanta naseeb hi na hua. Ab subha se wird jari tha, ke plane saat baje araha hai. Dekho rush hours hote hain, dihan rakna. Are abhi to 11 hi baje hai. Achcha yeh batao, yeh shirt achchi lag rahi hai? Is pe is colour ki pant chale gi? Are dekho yeh tie match ker rahi hai? Dekho baal hi nahi jam rahe hai. Joota kala pehnoon ya surmaie -------------------------------------------.
Mere Allah, subha se paanch baje tak mera yeh haal ho gaya tha ke maine puri aik sadi ji lee ho. Her minute mein sawal. Ab sochiye zara hisaab laga ker, main likhoon ga to, baniye ki poothi kam pad jaye gee. Chaliye aap ke zimme hisaab raha, laut ke aoonga to bata diye ga. Jaise taise airport aaye. Abhi 7 nahi baje the, kya plane aa gaya? Samne board laga hai, plane adha ghanta late hai, aur tumhe soojh rahi hai ke aa gaya. Wallah, late ka shusha dekh ker, hazrat ka munh dekhne wala tha. Yaar yeh airline wale bhi sab muft ki khate hain. Kya sadkon ki tarah uper bhi traffic jam hai jo plane late araha hai? Kambakth zaleel, koi kaam hi nahi karna chahata hai. Aur pata nahi airline ko us ne kya kya keh dala. Maine to apne kano mein earphone laga liye the aur unki zaban ke hisaab se, apni gardan ko herkat de raha tha. Jaise unki baat utne hi shauk or dhaiyan se sun raha hoon jitni bechaine aur zahni kashmakash se woh bak rahe the.
Khuda khuda ker ke plane aaya. Magar unki bechaini dekhne wali thee, woh apne pairon ko azar ki chita mein jalai jaate the. Ek pal darwaze pe, ek taraf custom ke door pe, ek pal sign board ke samne, ek pal mere paas aur us ladki ke naam ka jhanda is tarah ooncha kiye hue jaise koi mulk parast kisi mulk bechne wale neta ka khair maqdam kar raha ho. Hum Nilofar ko uske naam ki tarah khayaloon mein uski tasveer ko her nuktaia nazar aur zawiye se canvas pe utaar te chale ja rahe the ke subuk andam, nazuk jab chalti ho gi, to hawa rukh jaati ho gi, jab bolti ho gi, to sangeet khamosh ho jata ho ga, khubsoorat aisi, ke menka bhi sharma jaye, waghaira, waghaira. Ab apne sare jazbat aur khayalat ke izhaar se qasir hoon. Khuda khuda ker ke sab bahar aana shuru hue. Main her ek khubsoorat, subuk raftar, dil fareb ada wali ladki ko Nilofar samajh ker aage bhar ta, magar mayusi ke alawa kuch haat na lagta. Woh bechare humse ziada pareshan. Apna jhanda ooncha kiye, her khubsoorat ladki ko lalchaii nazron se ghoorte, uske qareeb jate aur woh inko hairat zadah nazron se dekhte dain bhain se nikal jati.
Kuch der mein dekha, ek pahad numa gosht ka sawnla sa lothda apni saanson ko durust karta suitcase ko kheechta, hanpta kanpta, un hazrat ke pehlu mein kada dikhai diya. Aur main sakte ke alam mein usko dekh hi raha tha, ke uska bhari bharkam haath us sukhe chuhare ke kandhe per pada. Palat ker jo unho ne apni mehbooba ko dekha to hazrat us haath ki jhoonk aur us haibatnat shakl ko dekh ker, zameen per charon khane chitt.
Aur aaj tak hum apne dost ki teemardari ker rahe hain. Unki mehbooba hospital ke chakkar khane ke bajai, chakkar khati England rafuchakkar ho gayeen.
Ab main sochta hoon ke aik adad internet ishq main bhi kar daloon. Kya rai hai aap ki?
Khatmshud
Javedarshad
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on eTI community..
