Job Description: Mom

by Pooja on October 07, 2004, 12:15:53 PM
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Pooja
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Job Description: Mom

POSITION: Mom

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which
will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway
cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as
nose-blowing and shoe-tying.

Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis
management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus.

Must be able to think outside of the box but not lose track of the
box, because you most likely will need it for a school project. Must
reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing
budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, "He got more than
me!"
for the rest of your life.

Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and
Adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned
skills in
conflict resolution. Must be able to choose your battles and stick to
your guns. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as "You don't
know anything."

Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs
$5 to go skating.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the
physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph
in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard
are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as
small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production
of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the
next.

Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because
fund-raiser
will be your middle name.

Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions such as
"What makes the wind move?" or "Why can't they just go in and shoot
Sadam Hussein?" on the fly.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must
share accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment
is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help
them become financially independent. When you die, you give them
whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually
enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, the
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.
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Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
DEEWANI THI WOH(A DESCRIPTION) by ANKIT RAO in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq
TU...... (A COMPARATIVE DESCRIPTION) by ANKIT RAO in Other Languages
Talat
Guest
«Reply #1 on: October 08, 2004, 01:01:58 PM »
Claps for Mom...Claps for Pooja..
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #2 on: October 08, 2004, 05:00:05 PM »
Thanks Talat!!!!! Usual Smile
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Suhas
Guest
«Reply #3 on: October 28, 2004, 09:30:38 AM »
For those who are lucky to still be blessed with your Mom this is beautiful. For those who aren't, this is even more beautiful.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked.

And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.

So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, and taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun
shone on them, and the young mother cried "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms, and the children said, "Mother,
we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there."

So the children climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after year, she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most
of all....unconditional love.

And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay
down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children."

And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her, and gave her their strength, just as she had given them hers.

One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.

And mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them."

And the children said, " You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We
cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence."

Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother shows every emotion...happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow.....

And all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take.

She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space...............not even death!  :kiss:  :hug:
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nishita
Guest
«Reply #4 on: October 28, 2004, 03:19:45 PM »
wow suhas
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Talat
Guest
«Reply #5 on: October 28, 2004, 03:56:50 PM »
WoW!!!!
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #6 on: October 28, 2004, 04:13:20 PM »
Thanks for shairing with US Suhas!!!!! Good one!!!
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Suhas
Guest
«Reply #7 on: October 29, 2004, 02:22:40 AM »
Thanks ji Usual Smile   Usual Smile
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Meena
Guest
«Reply #8 on: December 03, 2004, 03:23:04 PM »
sweet!!!!!!
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myheart_ursonly
Guest
«Reply #9 on: December 05, 2004, 01:16:57 PM »
vvovvie!!!! very nice yaar!!!

cho chweet


:lol:
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Barsaath_Warshi
Guest
«Reply #10 on: October 03, 2005, 08:37:37 AM »
wow kool! i love my mom  :oops:
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isha_verma7
Guest
«Reply #11 on: October 04, 2005, 06:59:33 PM »
WOW..........just great..........cant describe in words how good this is.........MOMS R THE BEST!!!!!!!
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #12 on: February 16, 2006, 07:39:46 AM »
thanks Friends!! Yes Moms R THE BEST!!!!!!
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