MEN SPECIAL'S:General Stories

Marriage is like a fort. Those men
inside want to get out and those outside want to get
in.

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Every man should get married some
time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in
life!!

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than
others.

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Don't marry for money; you
can borrow it cheaper. * Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism.
I was married for two years. * Sam Kinison

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Men have a better time than women; for one
thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die
earlier. * H. L. Mencken

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"A man without a woman is
like a fish without a bicycle." * U2

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Marriage is a
three "ring" circus: *
engagement(r)ing
---wedding(r)ing ---SUFFERING.
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone
knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.
Love is blind but
marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for
his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car
is new or the wife.

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I take my wife
everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the

kitchen?"

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We always hold
hands............. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for
two hours................ That was only for the
estimate.

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She got a mudpack and looked
great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I
too late for the garbage?" Following her down the
street I yelled, "No, jump in!"

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BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings
looks too much like minature

handcuffs....."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in
first? The Dog of course..at least he'll
shut up
after you let him in!

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
departed mother and started back toward his car when
his attention was diverted to
another man kneeling at a
grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't
wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain is more than I've
ever seen before. For whom do
you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a
moment to collect himself, then

replied,........................... "My wife's first
husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The
wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well,
and drowned.The husband was stunned for a while but
then smiled "It really works!"

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Before marriage, a man yearns for
the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y"
becomes

silent.__________________________________________ ________________