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javedarshad
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UFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Uff, Uff, Uff uff sun sun ker kabhi aisa lagta haike duniyan ki sari lizzatain is uf mein pinah hai.Ya phir kabhi aisa mahsoos hota hai ke zamane bher ka karb aur dard is main jaam hai,Aur kabhi aisa lagta hai ke zindagee ke sare raaz is mein posheeda hain,
Sach arz karoon ager is uff ka eijaad kerne wala is nacheez ke hath lag jaye to usko 3 ke bajaye 7 fershi salam daagh doon Aur saat din tak uski is tarah khidmat kar ne ka beeda utha sakta hun jo uska haq hai.Ab yeh us per munhasir hai ke woh khidmat kis qism ya andaaze se leta hai.Ager aaj ke daur ka hai to kaii baar kafi soochna pade ga. Ager leti hai to woh kis qism se leti hai. Yeh alag mauzau ho jaye ga. Is per agar leti ya lete se fursat mili ya jaan baksh payee to zaroor bahes ki gunjaish baqi rahe gee.
Doosri baat main award committee jo azazaat bakshti hai us se dast basta arz karoon ga ke is leti ya lete ko award se zaroor nawaza jaye chahe woh bharat ratn kahi kyun na ho. Ab yeh committee per munhasir hai ke kahin unki uff na nikal jaye. Phir----------------
Uff bhi ajeeb ajeeb qism se paida hoti hai. Iska tajzia karna bada mushkil hai. Agar kisi khilti kali ko halke se chudiya to, woh sharmate, lajate aur muskura ker bade hi lagawat ke andaaz se uff, aap aise kya choote hain. Agar kisi pukhta umr wali ko chudiya, to woh farmaiyen gee uff, aap ko chuna bhi nahi aata hai. Isse to aaj ke woh piddi se piddi kahin behter hain ke uff ka mauqa hi nahin dehte.
Ager din mein kahin biwi ke paas huye aur dheere se kandhe per haath rakh diya, to uffffff aap ko zara bhi sharm lihaz nahin, bache samne baithe hain aur aap ko haath lagane ki padi hai. Jab ke maine to sirf kandhe per haath rak ker apni pyaas ki shiddat ko batana chaha tha ke begum, agar nawazish ho jaye to ek adad pani ka glass inayat ho jaye, magar isse pehle hi uff aker samne seena taan ker kadi hai.
Hamari ek dost hain, unko bas uff ke alawa kuch yaad hi nahin rehta. Unko awaaz dee, uff kya baat hai, koi is tarah se awaaz deta hai. Barabar se saath chalo, uff koi is tarah se chalta hai jaise ke woh chalte hain. Zara unko koi chutkula suniya, uff kaise badmazaq aadmi hain. Ab aap hi khud batain ke main inse baat karun ya uff ki gohaar sunu.
Inke uff itne baras chuke hain, ke kya bataoun. Waise mujhe inka tahe dil se mashkoor hona chahiye kyun ke is dariya dili ki wajah se kaafi bachat ho gayi hai. Ab mere badan per sirf uff aur uff hoti hai. Odhne aur bichaune ki zaroorat hi nahi, woh bhi uff hi kaam dehti. Agar aap ko kami ho kisi cheez ki to aap is nacheez se rabta ker sakte hain, kaafi bachat ho sakti hai.
Kal hi ki baat hai. Ek badikhlaq shauher ne bade hi ikhlaq ka muzaihera kerte hue apni biwi se do chaar mohabbat ki baatein karne ki khatir badi mohabbat se kandhe pe haat rak diya. Uff kaise ho gaye hain, bidak ker yun bhageen jaisi kisi bichoo ne dank maar diya ho. Ab gareeb shauher pareshan ke maine itne ikhlaq aur mohabbat se biwi se baat karni chahi, woh uff kehti hui char koos door kadi hain aur mare hairat ke shauher ko dekh rahi hain ke shauher ke bhaise mein koi aur to meri izzat loot ne nahin aa gaya. Pehroon to un ko yaqeen hi nahi aaya ke yeh mere hi shauher hain, woh bhi itne baikhlaq aur muhazzab. Ab woh shauher ki dil joye karne ke bajai, tukur tukur kabhi tajub se, kabhi ghabrai hirni jo sher ki ardab mein phansne wali ho, saans uper neeche munh khoole tak rahi hain ke abhi hamla hone wala hai. To gareeb miyan per kya beeti hogi jo na jaane kitni aas, kitne marahil se guzar ke kadi practice ker ke, ba ikhlaq ban ker biwi ki chahat mein apni saans roke, apne jazbaat dabaye kya soch raha ho ga. Kya ab aap usse kisi ikhlaq ki umeed ker sakte hain. Ek kambakth uff ne ek suderthe shauher ko phirse badikhlaq bana diye.
Raat ko khane per begum ki dost aayee hui theen. Woh haqeeqatan bahut hi khubsoorat, subuk andaam, haseen, aur chuii muii kism ki hain. Woh ek dish utane ki nakaam koshish mein apni sari takat sarf kiye ja rahi theen aur kambakht dish thee ke tas se mas hi nahin hoti thee. Zara si hile aur dham se wahin bait jaye. Ya do char inch uper uthe phir apni jaga per qaim. Kahin unke munh se dish utha the waqt ajeeb kism ki uff si nikal gayee. Idhar meri shamate aamaal ne ghera tha kuch aur hi ajeeb andaaz se mere munh se uff nikal gayee. Idhar mere munh se uff ka nikal na tha, udhar biwi ke haath ka glass tad se farsh pe aur chehra aisa surkh jaise 60 degree C se tap ker nikla ho. Natija kya nikla, khana pait mein jaane ke bajai, kuch bin mein gaya, jo bachaya ja saka, woh fridge mein chala gaya. Ab koi bataye ke yeh uff aur sirf uff ki chapkilish mein is gareeb ki kya khata. Meri aatein abhi tak Qulhowallah kya, mashallah se pura Quran pad chuki hai. Magar aaj to gulukhalasi ki umeed nahin nazar aati.
To mehrbano, khuda ke liye aap is uff ke chakar mein na paden. Agar khuda na kasta saabiqa ped jaye, to ek cheez ka khayal rake. Jaise hi imkaan nazar aaye, to fauran thande pani se ghusl farmaye jis se sare jism ki hararat nikal jaye. Zaida khatra ho, ser per khood bandle. Aur hi ziada apne uper yaqeene kamil na ho to, char pather her waqt apne saat rakhen ke bawaqte zaroorat pait per bandh sakain.
Bas main khuda se yehi dua karun ga ke kisi per khuda uffffffffffffffffffffffff ki ufftaad na dale.
Khatmshud
Javed
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on eTI community..
