aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

by laaiba on April 14, 2014, 09:38:36 PM
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laaiba
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  waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye

laaiba shah
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SURESH SANGWAN
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«Reply #1 on: April 14, 2014, 09:57:40 PM »
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waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley\
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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jeet jainam
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«Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 09:59:35 PM »
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 waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
wah wah wah wah bohut bohut umda laaiba waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
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sksaini4
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«Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 10:38:35 PM »
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ek rau ke saath daad
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Advo.RavinderaRavi
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«Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 11:54:32 PM »
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Quote from: laaiba on April 14, 2014, 09:38:36 PM

  waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye

laaiba shah
Kya Bat Hai,
Bahut Khoob.!!
One RAU for It.
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sbechain
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«Reply #5 on: April 15, 2014, 02:48:17 AM »
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Quote from: laaiba on April 14, 2014, 09:38:36 PM

  waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye
javascript:void(0);
laaiba shah

wah wah wah icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower!
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amit_prakash_meet
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«Reply #6 on: April 15, 2014, 12:55:15 PM »
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वाह.....वाह.....वाह.....

बहुत बहुत बहुत खूब....

 icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower
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Sudhir Ashq
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«Reply #7 on: April 15, 2014, 01:34:19 PM »
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 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause :clap

  waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

wah,Wah,Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Laiba ji,Bahut khoobsurat matla hai aur is per kahi ghazal ke tareef ke liye alfaaz nahi hai mere paas.Hazaroon dili daad qabool farmaayin aik RAU ke saath.
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«Reply #8 on: April 15, 2014, 01:46:50 PM »
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waaah waah waah waah waaah bohut hi umda peshkash
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vb
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«Reply #9 on: April 15, 2014, 02:50:22 PM »
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Quote from: laaiba on April 14, 2014, 09:38:36 PM

  waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye

laaiba shah




Mohtarma laaiba sahiba! salam masnoon

aap ki ye shaandar ghazal parhi or parh kar lutf liya... buhat achay ashaar hen, hamaari taraf say bharpoor daad qabool kijay... ye buhat bari baat hay k beher ki ghalati kahin bhi hamen nahi nazar aai... ab kuch likhnay chalay hen ghazal par to kuch baaten is say mutalik kahay detay hen. mumkin hay ye baaten aap ky ilm men bhi hon. umeed hay isay tanqeed nahi samjha jayay ga, balkay ilmi azhaar-e-khayaal samjha jaayay ga...

==========================================

waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

buhat achha sher hay, agarchi thora sa mubhimn hay apnay meni kay lihaaz say... doosra misra buhat khoobsoorat hay....agar aap ghor karen tu aap ko mehsoos ho ga k pehla misra, doosray ki takkar ka nahi hay... agar ye mazeed khoobsoorat ho sakay tu poori ghazal kay aahang ko khoobsurat bana de ga..

..............................

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

as sher pr hum kuch nahi kahen gay... buhat khoobsoorat sher hay...

............................

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye

buhat khoob... pehlay misra men, "teiree" kay baad comma lagana reh gaya hay... doosray misra men lafz "phir" bharti ka hay... bharti ka lafz wo hota hay jisay wazan poora karnay kay liyay rakhna parta hay. koshish honi chahiyay k bharti say bacha jayay...

..............................
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

ye bhe khoob sher hay, doosray misra men "deiikho" bharti ka hay. jo sher ki khoobsoorti ko mutaasir kar raha hay...

..............................

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye

buhat achhay... pehlay misra men lafz "naa" aap ne 2 harfi ya wazan 2 kay baraber baandha hay... aroozi hazraat is ko aik he bandhnay par raazi hotay hen... lekin aaj kal kai shaair isay wazan 2 par bhi baandh rahay hen... lekin asaatizaa men say kisi ne isay wazan 2 par kabhi nahi baandha... so aap apni marzi say raasta chun sakti hen...

doosray misray men lafz :hi: bharti ka hay... is say bhi sher ko bachaya jaa sakay to behter hay...


=========================================

aap kay ilm men hona chahiyay k hamaari raayay koi mustanad raayay nahi hay... aik shagird ki he hay... so jaisa hum ne dekha, seekha, samjha, so haazir kiya... agar kuch giraaN guzraa ho to, peshgi maazrat kay saath...


dua go
ahqar-vb jee
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laaiba
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«Reply #10 on: April 15, 2014, 04:08:49 PM »
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Quote from: SURESH SANGWAN on April 14, 2014, 09:57:40 PM
waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye

lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye

aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
 
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......

jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley\
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
shukria suresh aapka ,...............
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laaiba
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«Reply #11 on: April 15, 2014, 04:09:31 PM »
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Quote from: jeet jainam on April 14, 2014, 09:59:35 PM
waa.r jub mousam ke  saare chal gaye
dhoo.p men baarish ke paayoN jal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
lab khulen izhaar koh mumkin nahiN
chup ke dil mein kitne hi gham pal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
aa gayee jub yaa.d  teiree  uss ghadee
ash.q taaron mein sabhee phir dhal gaye
  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
hij.r ki maaree huyee aankhoN mein phir
aaRzoo ke dee.p deiikho jal gaye,......
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
jab mohabbat raa.s  naa aayee hameiN
din uudaasee mein hi saare dhal gaye
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
wah wah wah wah bohut bohut umda laaiba waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

shuqria jeet g,................
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laaiba
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«Reply #12 on: April 15, 2014, 04:10:06 PM »
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Quote from: sksaini4 on April 14, 2014, 10:38:35 PM
ek rau ke saath daad
bohat bohat shuqria aapka sir,
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laaiba
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«Reply #13 on: April 15, 2014, 04:11:02 PM »
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Quote from: Advo.RavinderaRavi on April 14, 2014, 11:54:32 PM
Kya Bat Hai,
Bahut Khoob.!!
One RAU for It.
ravi g shuqria aapka , rau ke liye b bohar bohat shuqria
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laaiba
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«Reply #14 on: April 15, 2014, 04:14:08 PM »
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Quote from: amit_prakash_meet on April 15, 2014, 12:55:15 PM
वाह.....वाह.....वाह.....

बहुत बहुत बहुत खूब....

 icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower
thnku,amit g
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