Ab aur zindagi ka aetbaar kya karta (by vb)

by vb on August 09, 2011, 11:08:05 AM
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vb
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Ab aur zindagi ka aetbaar kya karta
Teray fraaq ki ghariyaan shumaar kya karta

Shareek-e-maatam-e-marg-e-saba hen ehle-e-chaman
Khizaan k khoon men lithree bahaar kya karta

Samajh raha thaa akela hoon jeet jaaun ga
Kisi ki jeet bani meri haar; …..

Chala jo main tu manzilon ne moon ko more liya
Rah-e-junoon main tujhay ikhtiyaar kya karta

Bawakt-e-marg nigah bayqarar, lab tashna
Main is say barh k tera intezaar kya karta

Ye dasaateer-e-tashnagi thay faqar meray liyay
Aye dil-e-zaar-o-lab-e-bayqaraar! kya karta

*Misaal-e-Faiz koovay yaar say niklaa; vb!
Jo soovay daar na jaata, tu yaar! kya karta?

*---------------*

* refers to following sher of Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Muqaam, Faiz!, koi raah men jachaa he nahi
Jo koovay yaar say niklay tu soovay daar chalay

*---------------*
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sarfira
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«Reply #1 on: August 09, 2011, 11:20:14 AM »
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kamaaaaaal kamaaaaal ghazal hai vb jee
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guest
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«Reply #2 on: August 09, 2011, 01:00:12 PM »
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nehad umda alfaazon ka istemaal, hayrangi ki hadd tak bayanbazi, bahut khoob! (gustaakhi maaf pls) fourth shayer mein gar kuch aisa hota...

manzilon ke daaman say, kyun moon more liya
raah-e-nafrat mein tujh pe aitbaar kya karta...

bewakat-e-iQrar, siyaah raat ki galiyon mein
paraaye ghungroo ki jhankaar kya karta...

jashan-e-jeet ki saugaat bani koi khamosh nazar
ab aur haraanay ka intezaar kya karta...
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #3 on: August 09, 2011, 07:36:46 PM »
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VB jee Aadaab!

Waah janab waah kia kahne aapke behad umdaa
aur behad khub gazal se bazm ko nawaaza hai
aapne Usual Smile

Humari dili daad O mubarakbaad kabul kijiye

         



Quote from: vb on August 09, 2011, 11:08:05 AM


Ab aur zindagi ka aetbaar kya karta
Teray fraaq ki ghariyaan shumaar kya karta

Waah jee kia baat hai bahut umdaa Usual Smile
         

Shareek-e-maatam-e-marg-e-saba hen ehle-e-chaman
Khizaan k khoon men lithree bahaar kya karta

gazab ki bayaani ki hai janab behad
umdaa .. khayaal bhi khoob nikhar kar aaya hai daad Usual Smile         

Samajh raha thaa akela hoon jeet jaaun ga
Kisi ki jeet bani meri haar; …..

Kia kahne ... taqdeer ki baat hai
bahut khoob Usual Smile         

Chala jo main tu manzilon ne moon ko more liya
Rah-e-junoon main tujhay ikhtiyaar kya karta

Achcha sher hai daad Usual Smile         

Bawakt-e-marg nigah bayqarar, lab tashna
Main is say barh k tera intezaar kya karta

Waah janab waah bahut khoob Usual Smile         

Ye dasaateer-e-tashnagi thay faqar meray liyay
Aye dil-e-zaar-o-lab-e-bayqaraar! kya karta

Kia kahne janab .. behad gazab ki bayaani
kar rahe hai aap daad daad Usual Smile         

*Misaal-e-Faiz koovay yaar say niklaa; vb!
Jo soovay daar na jaata, tu yaar! kya karta?

Oye hoye bahut khoob janab daad daad daad Usual Smile         

*---------------*

* refers to following sher of Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Muqaam, Faiz!, koi raah men jachaa he nahi
Jo koovay yaar say niklay tu soovay daar chalay

*---------------*




VB jee kamaal ki gazal kahi hai aapne.. Usual Smile

Aise hi umdaa aur dilkash kalaamoN ke saath aate rahiye..
Khush O aabaad rahiye.. Usual Smile

Khuda Hafez Usual Smile         
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F.H.SIDDIQUI
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«Reply #4 on: August 10, 2011, 03:31:18 AM »
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vb ji,achhe aur sanjeeda ash'aar hain.khaas y-taur se 2nd she'r bahut pasand aaya.dad haazir hai.
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vb
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«Reply #5 on: August 10, 2011, 06:48:14 AM »
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Sarfira jee, ParwaaZ jee and F.H.Siddiqui jee! aap sub ka buhat shukriya...
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vb
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«Reply #6 on: August 10, 2011, 06:56:27 AM »
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guest jee! buhat shukriya aap ka.. buhat khoob sher kahay aap ne... aisay he honay chahiyen thay... manzilen....... rah-e-nafrat............iqraar, ghungru................ khamosh nazar ....... jeet / haar.... buhat sahi.... "main jo jeeta bhe tu ashkon ka samandar jeeta" ... sahi inaam .. i mean.. saughaat... sahi..

is ghazal main aur bhe changes karni chahiyen kuchh... jaisay...

"lapak k thaam liya manzilon ne baanhon men
mohabbaton k fasaanay shumaar kya karta" .. etc.

himmat ne saath diya... tu ye changes bhe kar he len gay kisi waqt...

aap ki comments aur khoobsurat ash'aar ka phir say shukriya...
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guest
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«Reply #7 on: August 10, 2011, 12:49:57 PM »
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...I made a mistake in my shayer, so some confusion...is wajah say shayer ke maayine badal gaye shayad...its ok, yehi farak hota hay, maQbool shayers and Qadardan guests mein, maafi chahtay hain
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vb
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«Reply #8 on: August 11, 2011, 07:37:56 AM »
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jee sahi, jub tak jo kuchh aap ko mistake lagay.... us ki haisiyat kisi mistake say barh kar ho bhe nahi sakti...

hamen koi maqbool kehta hay tu yaqeenan tanz karta hay... agar aap ki qadardaani bhe tanz nahi.. tu aap ka shukriya. hamen is baat ka bhe yaqeen hay k is qadardaani ki wajoohat ki fehrist ho gi aap k paas... lakin hamaray paas is forum par tasavur-kashi karny ki wajoohat khatam hoti jaa rahi hain...
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guest
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«Reply #9 on: August 11, 2011, 12:41:42 PM »
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Qadardanon ki ye himmat ke tanz kar sakein!! and maQbool shayers hi bata saktay hain ke kita emaan hay kisi ki Qadardani mein, but maQbool honay ke naatay shayad yeh tanz ka right khud-b-khud haasil ho jata ho...

wajoohat khatam hoti ja rahi hay...means life ka asal maQsood samajh anay laga hay...means good ke right track ki taraf jaa rahay hain...
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vb
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«Reply #10 on: August 11, 2011, 03:41:30 PM »
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thankful hen hum qadardanon k... Qabul na sahi.... Maqbul sahi.... aur wesay bhe sher k ilawa kaabil-e-qabul hay he kya hamaray paas.....

lolz.... sorry.... aap ka second peragraph rahi sahi wajuhaat mitanay ko kaafi hay.... zindagi k jo meanings aap ne likhay hen .... lagta hay ye bhe usi dictionary men likhay hen jo aap ne sirf hamaray liyay bana rakhi hay.... ajeeb baat k hamari dictionaray men yehi meanings.... maut word k samnay likhay hen..... aap apni dictionay men again dekh kar ye meanings confirm kar dejay... taakay ab ki baar hamen kashti par bojh samjhnay walay.... hamen doobtay daikh kar khush ho saken...
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sarfira
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«Reply #11 on: August 11, 2011, 04:04:17 PM »
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ye kaisi baate kah gaye aap vb jee!

jis kasti pe hain aap usi kasti ke kisi kone me…humara bhi wajood hai…
aapki dictinary kya kahti hai…uski fikar nai…
kuch hamari bhi sunn lo aap…
wo ranjishon ki lahren hain
rah rah kar hiloren uthengi…
kuch aur wakiye hai jo kahne ki chahat hai
ajma ajma thak gaya jane kaisi ye chahat hai…
ronak bahaar se naata kya…doobte sooraj ki tanzish me…jaane kya kya mai kho gaya
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SURESH SANGWAN
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«Reply #12 on: August 11, 2011, 04:07:44 PM »
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vb ji bahut khoob
 Applause Applause Applause Applause
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guest
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«Reply #13 on: August 11, 2011, 05:23:36 PM »
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<<<lolz.... sorry.... aap ka second peragraph rahi sahi wajuhaat mitanay ko kaafi hay >>> ya kahiye ke thanks ke zindagi ka raasta dikhaya n samjhaya warna Ramdan ke aisey pak maheenay mein aur is say acha deed kya ho sakta tha...

zindagi and maut ki definitions dectinary mein hongi apni apni jagah, but in donon ke beech ke bayanbazi ke liye dictionary n encyclopedia bhi kam hain...baki maQbool honay ke naatay, apkay alfaz xplain kar hee dete hain...
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vb
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«Reply #14 on: August 12, 2011, 08:54:55 AM »
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sarfira jee! buhat khoob sher kahay aap ne..

SURESH SANGWAN jee! buhat shukriya aap ka..
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