Anjaam bura har baar huwa

by Sayyid Randeri on July 02, 2008, 02:19:51 AM
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #15 on: August 05, 2008, 06:40:02 PM »
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Quote from: Shihab on August 04, 2008, 05:58:33 AM
wah wah Randeri Saheb Kya Andaz.e.Bayaan Hai Bohat Khoob Ji
Aur Maafi Chahte Hai Itne Pyaare Kalaam Ko Hum Dekh Nahi Paaye
Par Ab Dekh Kar Achha Laga Bohat Hi Umda Hai Keep It Up.

Jazakallah!
Aap ki bohot bohot meherbaani he jo aap ne pasand farmaya, or daad-o-tahseen se nawaaza.

Khush rahiye..
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Roja
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«Reply #16 on: August 05, 2008, 07:18:45 PM »
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Quote from: Sayyid Randeri on July 02, 2008, 02:19:51 AM
=== === === === === ===

++++++++++++++

=== === === === === ===

Bahut khoob Sayyid ji..  Applause  Applause

Woh mera humdard hai ye mera bram nikla
Uski soch se alag mera dharam nikla

Chale pad jayenge hateli per kab socha tha
Jo utaya tukda baraf ka garam nikla

Laaj ka putla jankar jikso sajda kiye
Aadmi woh hi yahan bahut be-sharam nikla

Paap samajkar jisko roti rahi hu mai
Mera gunah yaaron mera karam nikla

Pattar jaan ke jisko sab ne nigahein fheri
Shakhs woh hi yahan mom-sa naram nikla

"Roja" hairat se bas dekhti hi reh gayi
Uska katil hi uska humdam nikla
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Pooja
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«Reply #17 on: August 05, 2008, 07:53:24 PM »
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wah kay abaat hai... bahoot khoob Roja!!
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #18 on: May 31, 2009, 09:50:32 PM »
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Quote from: Roja on August 05, 2008, 07:18:45 PM
Bahut khoob Sayyid ji..  Applause  Applause

Woh mera humdard hai ye mera bram nikla
Uski soch se alag mera dharam nikla

Chale pad jayenge hateli per kab socha tha
Jo utaya tukda baraf ka garam nikla

Laaj ka putla jankar jikso sajda kiye
Aadmi woh hi yahan bahut be-sharam nikla

Paap samajkar jisko roti rahi hu mai
Mera gunah yaaron mera karam nikla

Pattar jaan ke jisko sab ne nigahein fheri
Shakhs woh hi yahan mom-sa naram nikla

"Roja" hairat se bas dekhti hi reh gayi
Uska katil hi uska humdam nikla

Bohot bohot mafi chahta hun Roja ji aap ke is behtareen kalaam par nazar hi n gai... apni kotahi ke liye sharminda hun.

Zarrah nawazi ka shukriya..

Kamaal ki tehreer he bohot umda kalaam he aap ka Dad qubool farmayen.
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MHussain
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«Reply #19 on: May 31, 2009, 10:31:28 PM »
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Tameez ka fukdan yahan khub nazar aya
Gardan ko daba key ussey baag banaya

Baag to rehtey hein junglon men kaheen
Tiger albatta baagh mein kyun nazar aya

Gardan ko kisee aankh ne dekha Garden
Basirat mein unki kuch khalal nazar aya
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MHussain
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«Reply #20 on: May 31, 2009, 10:44:18 PM »
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Perfectly well balanced poetry by Mr. Randeri, It is a fabulous example of ghazal, which describes the poet's clarity of thoughts and reader's ability to grasp the essence.

Ms. Roja also wrote interesting piece of poetry, but she needs to learn how to pronounce the words correctly, such as 'bram' what is that, guessing is difficult, but after reading in rhythm, I found the actual word as 'Bharam', Pattar ? She should write Patthar.

Thanks

MH
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SARVESH RASTOGI
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«Reply #21 on: June 01, 2009, 02:03:41 AM »
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Bahut bahut khoob Randeri Saheb
Kya baat hai, wah wah
Isi per apni ghazal ke chand sher yaad aa gaye

NAZAR JHUKI HAI MAGAR DIL ME BEKARARI HAI
HAYA KI AAD ME JAISE KOI SHIKARI HAI

BAND HOTON ME MUHABBAT KO CHHUPA LE LEKIN
SURKH CHEHARE SE ZIGAR KA BAYAN JAARI HAI

AANKH KE TEER SE ZAKHMI HUE ZIGAR KITNE
AISA LAGTA HAI KI AB TO HAMARI BARI HAI

SARVESH RASTOGI
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Roja
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«Reply #22 on: June 01, 2009, 02:09:48 AM »
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Quote from: MHussain on May 31, 2009, 10:44:18 PM

Ms. Roja also wrote interesting piece of poetry, but she needs to learn how to pronounce the words correctly, such as 'bram' what is that, guessing is difficult, but after reading in rhythm, I found the actual word as 'Bharam', Pattar ? She should write Patthar.


Thanks

MH

Hussain sb, salaam....... Bram = Veham... (Pattar nahi)
Haan mujhe aur bi seekhna hi hai. Thanks for yr valuable comments. Usual Smile
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Roja
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«Reply #23 on: June 01, 2009, 02:14:23 AM »
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Quote from: Sayyid Randeri on May 31, 2009, 09:50:32 PM
Bohot bohot mafi chahta hun Roja ji aap ke is behtareen kalaam par nazar hi n gai... apni kotahi ke liye sharminda hun.

Zarrah nawazi ka shukriya..

Kamaal ki tehreer he bohot umda kalaam he aap ka Dad qubool farmayen.

Bahut bahut Shukriya aapki jo aapne mera galat/shalat shayri ko behtareen kaha. Aap wapis aaye mehfil mein yehi mere liye bahut khushi ki baat hai. so dont say sorry etc.

Mera kuch likha shayari pe aapka comments ka intezar rahega.
Thanks onceagain for coming.
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Roja
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«Reply #24 on: June 01, 2009, 02:15:37 AM »
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Quote from: SARVESH RASTOGI on June 01, 2009, 02:03:41 AM
Bahut bahut khoob Randeri Saheb
Kya baat hai, wah wah
Isi per apni ghazal ke chand sher yaad aa gaye

NAZAR JHUKI HAI MAGAR DIL ME BEKARARI HAI
HAYA KI AAD ME JAISE KOI SHIKARI HAI

BAND HOTON ME MUHABBAT KO CHHUPA LE LEKIN
SURKH CHEHARE SE ZIGAR KA BAYAN JAARI HAI

AANKH KE TEER SE ZAKHMI HUE ZIGAR KITNE
AISA LAGTA HAI KI AB TO HAMARI BARI HAI

SARVESH RASTOGI

Wah wah Sarvesh Rastogi ji....  Applause Applause
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #25 on: June 01, 2009, 03:34:26 AM »
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Quote from: MHussain on May 31, 2009, 10:31:28 PM
Tameez ka fukdan yahan khub nazar aya
Gardan ko daba key ussey baag banaya

Baag to rehtey hein junglon men kaheen
Tiger albatta baagh mein kyun nazar aya


Quote from: MHussain on May 31, 2009, 10:44:18 PM
Perfectly well balanced poetry by Mr. Randeri, It is a fabulous example of ghazal, which describes the poet's clarity of thoughts and reader's ability to grasp the essence.

MH

M.Hussain Bhai Ahqar ke ash'ar Pasand karne or sarah ne ke liye aap ka shukar guzaar hun.
Aap ki qabiliyat bhi aap ke ash'ar se zahir he, bohot umda.

Digar aakhari shear main kuchh talkh baaten hain, [jo yahan quote nahi kiya he] jo kisi ki dil shikni ka ba'as ho sakti he, aap se muaddabana darkhwast he ke apne akhiri shear me tabdeeli farmakar durust farmalen. jazakallah....
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #26 on: June 01, 2009, 03:45:43 AM »
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Quote from: SARVESH RASTOGI on June 01, 2009, 02:03:41 AM
Bahut bahut khoob Randeri Saheb
Kya baat hai, wah wah
Isi per apni ghazal ke chand sher yaad aa gaye

NAZAR JHUKI HAI MAGAR DIL ME BEKARARI HAI
HAYA KI AAD ME JAISE KOI SHIKARI HAI

BAND HOTON ME MUHABBAT KO CHHUPA LE LEKIN
SURKH CHEHARE SE ZIGAR KA BAYAN JAARI HAI

AANKH KE TEER SE ZAKHMI HUE ZIGAR KITNE
AISA LAGTA HAI KI AB TO HAMARI BARI HAI

SARVESH RASTOGI

Bohot bohot shukriya sarvesh rastogi ji Is zarrah nawazi ke liye mashkoor hun.

"HAYA KI AAD ME JAISE KOI SHIKARI HAI"
Wah kaya baat he... Applause

Bohot hi umda ashar hain Mukammal ghzal sahulat ho to zarur likhiyega, ise padh kar pyaas badhi he buji nahi.... Usual Smile
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #27 on: June 01, 2009, 04:13:07 AM »
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Quote from: Roja on June 01, 2009, 02:14:23 AM
Bahut bahut Shukriya aapki jo aapne mera galat/shalat shayri ko behtareen kaha. Aap wapis aaye mehfil mein yehi mere liye bahut khushi ki baat hai. so dont say sorry etc.

Mera kuch likha shayari pe aapka comments ka intezar rahega.
Thanks onceagain for coming.


Ha..Ha.. Ghalat/salat mat kahiye...shairi ke saath shair ke jazbaat bhi to kuchh ahmiya rakhte hain... Usual Smile

Qwaneen ki baat or he, magar me to ab bhi behtareen kaehta hun.  tongue3
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«Reply #28 on: June 01, 2009, 05:16:35 AM »
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Bahut Bahut Khoob Sayyid Randeri Saheb!!! Har Ek As'haar Lajawaab.. Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

Yuhi Likhte Rahiye,Hume Bhi Sikhne Ka Mauka Milte Rahega..
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Talat
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«Reply #29 on: June 01, 2009, 09:38:45 AM »
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Bohot Khoob Shihab, Roja dear, Sarvesh Ji Bohot Khoob !!

Ek baat yaad aa gayi...."Agar kisi mehfil main kisi ko kisi se kuch kehna ho, to behtar ye hai ki us ko alag le jaa ke wo baat batayi jaaye, na ki bhari mehfil main sab ke saamne bolen"...ye badappan kehlaata hai....!!
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