Chhuta hai jab koi tumhe...

by Just_Hate_Love on November 11, 2008, 07:10:26 PM
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Just_Hate_Love
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Chhuta hai jab koi tumhe to lagta hai jaise woh chhuta hai duniya hamari,
Hota hai ehsaas kuchh aisa hame jaise ruk jaayegi saanse hamari,

Khule jo palke to chahte hai ki dikhe hame sirf tu har jagah,
Jo agar khwaab aaye tera to sochte hai na khule kabhi aankhen hamari,

Maalum nahi kaise raah bhatak gaye chalte chalte hum, kaha kho gaye raaste,
Lagta hai ab na milegi kabhi raahein hamari aur khuli reh jaayegi baahein hamari...

By: JHL
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #1 on: November 11, 2008, 07:37:16 PM »
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waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kya baat teeno sher 300 karod ke hain ise kehte hain shayri me wazan paida karna beautiful jhl
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Just_Hate_Love
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«Reply #2 on: November 11, 2008, 07:42:45 PM »
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...bahut bahut shukriya Sajid...
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sarthika
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«Reply #3 on: November 11, 2008, 08:04:26 PM »
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Nice JHL
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sjid hadayat
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«Reply #4 on: November 11, 2008, 08:50:27 PM »
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Hello Dear Sajid Ghayl.....

Kahan hay sharye aur kahan ka wazan... pls be a man  janab... Her Lafaz k mani hotay hien aur uss ka istamal bhi ... by the way kia kehna chah rahay thay shayer sahib .... aap he khuch beh...ter samjhay ho..

for all poets (new commmers)

Lagay bandhay lufz sharye nahi
Ba mani lufz aur un ka bermala istamal shari hay...
sochtay hum sub he hien... kehnay aur biaan kernay k saleeqay ka nam sharye hay aur ye salika Qudarti ya perhnay ya seekhnay say aata..
Mery bhai
"Jaisay aik chiria bhi apnay ghonslay mien kisi aur ka bacha berdasht nahi kerti isi tarah sharye b baywazan aur bay maqsad lufzon ki terteeb ko berdasht nahi kerti... pls yar.. reham kero .. ye site shyre k liay hay na k bay tuqi lufz bazi k liay...

Regards
Sajid Hadayat
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sjid hadayat
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«Reply #5 on: November 11, 2008, 08:57:44 PM »
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aap ki tkhleeq mien Radeef kahan beiathi hay aur Qafia kahaan... Kia hay bhai ji ye.... Koi ustad pekro ya (reading) mutaliza kero.... Porano ko choro nai mien
Gulzar, Javid Akhther, Faraz, Mohsin Naqvi, Amjad Islam Amjad ya Ayoub Nadeem he perh lo..... phir andaza ho ga k hun kia aur kis tariqay say keh rahy hien...pls yar... dont mind it.... BangHead


Sajid Hadayat
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Pooja
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«Reply #6 on: November 11, 2008, 09:14:25 PM »
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Chhuta hai jab koi tumhe to lagta hai jaise woh chhuta hai duniya hamari,
Hota hai ehsaas kuchh aisa hame jaise ruk jaayegi saanse hamari,

Khule jo palke to chahte hai ki dikhe hame sirf tu har jagah,
Jo agar khwaab aaye tera to sochte hai na khule kabhi aankhen hamari,

Maalum nahi kaise raah bhatak gaye chalte chalte hum, kaha kho gaye raaste,
Lagta hai ab na milegi kabhi raahein hamari aur khuli reh jaayegi baahein hamari...

By: JHL

bahoot khoob JHL ji, hamesha ki tarah bahoot shandaar likha hai apne.
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Just_Hate_Love
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«Reply #7 on: November 11, 2008, 09:19:09 PM »
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...thanks a lot Sarthika and Pooja...but please tell me are your comments genuine.?.coz i am really moved by Hadayat's comment over here...please be frank i won't mind...
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Pooja
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«Reply #8 on: November 11, 2008, 09:22:07 PM »
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Hello Dear Sajid Ghayl.....

Kahan hay sharye aur kahan ka wazan... pls be a man  janab... Her Lafaz k mani hotay hien aur uss ka istamal bhi ... by the way kia kehna chah rahay thay shayer sahib .... aap he khuch beh...ter samjhay ho..

for all poets (new commmers)

Lagay bandhay lufz sharye nahi
Ba mani lufz aur un ka bermala istamal shari hay...
sochtay hum sub he hien... kehnay aur biaan kernay k saleeqay ka nam sharye hay aur ye salika Qudarti ya perhnay ya seekhnay say aata..
Mery bhai
"Jaisay aik chiria bhi apnay ghonslay mien kisi aur ka bacha berdasht nahi kerti isi tarah sharye b baywazan aur bay maqsad lufzon ki terteeb ko berdasht nahi kerti... pls yar.. reham kero .. ye site shyre k liay hay na k bay tuqi lufz bazi k liay...

Regards
Sajid Hadayat

aap ki tkhleeq mien Radeef kahan beiathi hay aur Qafia kahaan... Kia hay bhai ji ye.... Koi ustad pekro ya (reading) mutaliza kero.... Porano ko choro nai mien
Gulzar, Javid Akhther, Faraz, Mohsin Naqvi, Amjad Islam Amjad ya Ayoub Nadeem he perh lo..... phir andaza ho ga k hun kia aur kis tariqay say keh rahy hien...pls yar... dont mind it.... BangHead


Sajid Hadayat

SAJID JI,

SHAYAD APKO MERI LIKHI BAAT BOORI LAGE, ISS LIYE APKE PADNE SE PAHLE HE MAAFI CHAHTI HU.

apke comments kai baar parre, socha apko PM kar du. magar phir yahi jawab likhna uchit samjha. Koi bhi shayr ho aor kitna he acha aor layak shayri karta ho, wo agar ache insaan ki tarah aoro ka samman na kar sake to kaya kaha jaaye.

Mujhe aor Yo family ko acha lagta, agar app JHL ji ke likhi lines ko radeef aor kafia ke sath likh kar pesh karte aor tab samjhate. khair mujhe to in do shabdo ka arth bhi nahi pata.


Yah site her us insaan ke liye hai, jo apni likhi kavitaye shair karna chahta hai. chahe wo tukbandi he kyun na ho. ya jo original work padna pasand karta hai.
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Pooja
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«Reply #9 on: November 11, 2008, 09:25:57 PM »
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...thanks a lot Sarthika and Pooja...but please tell me are your comments genuine.?.coz i am really moved by Hadayat's comment over here...please be frank i won't mind...

JHL ji apne apne man ki bhawnao ko apne shabdo main likha hai jo kabile tareef hai. her line same rythem main hai. main khud koi shayra nahi hu, mujhe to behad achi lagi. baki sabki apni apni pasand hai
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Just_Hate_Love
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«Reply #10 on: November 11, 2008, 09:56:36 PM »
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...thanks a lot Pooja...i appreciate it...
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bekarar
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«Reply #11 on: November 12, 2008, 01:08:41 PM »
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Chhuta hai jab koi tumhe to lagta hai jaise woh chhuta hai duniya hamari,
Hota hai ehsaas kuchh aisa hame jaise ruk jaayegi saanse hamari,

Khule jo palke to chahte hai ki dikhe hame sirf tu har jagah,
Jo agar khwaab aaye tera to sochte hai na khule kabhi aankhen hamari,

Maalum nahi kaise raah bhatak gaye chalte chalte hum, kaha kho gaye raaste,
Lagta hai ab na milegi kabhi raahein hamari aur khuli reh jaayegi baahein hamari...

By: JHL

J H L bahoot khoob likha hai aapne.......likhte rahiye..
sanjeev
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Just_Hate_Love
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«Reply #12 on: November 12, 2008, 01:21:37 PM »
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...thanks a lot Sanjeev...
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Talat
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«Reply #13 on: November 12, 2008, 01:49:50 PM »
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Chhuta hai jab koi tumhe to lagta hai jaise woh chhuta hai duniya hamari,
Hota hai ehsaas kuchh aisa hame jaise ruk jaayegi saanse hamari,

Khule jo palke to chahte hai ki dikhe hame sirf tu har jagah,
Jo agar khwaab aaye tera to sochte hai na khule kabhi aankhen hamari,

Maalum nahi kaise raah bhatak gaye chalte chalte hum, kaha kho gaye raaste,
Lagta hai ab na milegi kabhi raahein hamari aur khuli reh jaayegi baahein hamari...

By: JHL

JHL

Bohot Khoob

Iss site pe aur bhi kai members ki tarah maine bhi na to shayari kahin se seekhi hai, aur na mere paas itna time hai ki kisi ustaad se jaa ke seekh sakun....

Aap, hum, aur bhi kuch log is site pe apni feelings share karte hain....shayari ki shakl main.......Ho sakta hai Saahib-e-Ilm ko hum logon ki peshkash main kami nazar aati ho....lekin uska bhi ek tareeqa hota hai batlaane ka.....

Khair, Main apni baat kahungi...aur mujhe aap ki ye shayari bohot achchi lagi.
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #14 on: November 12, 2008, 01:59:24 PM »
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chalo kisi ko to ehsas hua ke bina kisi wajah ke meri beizzati ki gayee.
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