~~"DARD-E-MUKAAM BAHUT"~~by Shally.

by k.shael on May 20, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
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jasbirsingh
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«Reply #30 on: May 21, 2009, 10:44:48 AM »
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BAHUT hi khoobsurti sey aap ney yeh ghazal pesh ki hai shally ji

jasbir singh
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #31 on: May 22, 2009, 06:46:43 AM »
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Quote from: k.shael on May 20, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
Log kehte hai mere sanam ka dil hai nazuk bahut,
Jaane kaise phir wo meri aankhon ko dete hai anso bahut,

Mana ki mere shehar ke logo ko mohabbat nahi aati,
Par maine husn-e-yaar se qatl hote hue dekhe hai bahut,

Ae dilbhar tum to past ho gaye ho ishq-e-qadam se hi,
Abhi to aayenge mukam-e-dard,raah-e-ishq me bahut,

Dil ke toot.ne ki aawaj koi sun hi nahi paata hai yahan,
Iss kadar bikhre pade hai duniya me aawajo ke saaj bahut,

Jao tum bhi bewafayi karke khush ho lo mujh se yaar,
Mein pathar hoo.n maine khaye hai pehle bhi dhokhe bahut,

Jinda rehte koi aaya na haal-e-bimaar poochne Shally,
Ab meri kabr pe aansoo bahane aate hai mere yaar bahut.
        


Shally ji!
Sensitive girls are born-poetesses, Shally! The pulses of love and poetry are co-runners! The craft takes time to muster! I'm happy it's gradually taking the right shape! Please re-read the lines marked by me in green and lime-green! The use of 'haal-e-bimaar' is okay; but 'ishq-e-qadam' ki tarh hi 'mukam-e-dard''raah-e-ishq' ziyaadah thheek hotaa, aisaa mujhey lagtaa hai! Taswwuraat kaa isteymaal achchhaa hai!
                           - abd bundeli
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diya786
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«Reply #32 on: May 22, 2009, 11:17:02 AM »
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bahut umda likha hai dear
kamaal hai
 Applause Applause Applause
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Azeem Azaad
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«Reply #33 on: May 22, 2009, 12:38:47 PM »
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Quote from: k.shael on May 20, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
Log kehte hai mere sanam ka dil hai nazuk bahut,
Jaane kaise phir wo meri aankhon ko dete hai anso bahut,

Mana ki mere shehar ke logo ko mohabbat nahi aati,
Par maine husn-e-yaar se qatl hote hue dekhe hai bahut,

Ae dilbhar tum to past ho gaye ho ishq-e-qadam se hi,
Aabhi to aayenge dard-e-mukam, ishq-e-raah me bahut,

Dil ke toot.ne ki aawaj koi sun hi nahi paata hai yahan,
Iss kadar bikhre pade hai duniya me aawajo ke saaj bahut,

Jao tum bhi bewafayi karke khush ho lo mujh se yaar,
Mein pathar hoo.n maine khaye hai pehle bhi dhokhe bahut,

Jinda rehte koi aaya na haal-e-bimaar poochne Shally,
Aab meri kabr pe aansoo bahane aate hai mere yaar bahut.

Shally.


Shally Wakhai Kamaal Ki Ghazal Likhi Hai Aapne, Bohat Achche, Kya Hume Coaching Dengi, Shayari Ki,.

Realy THis Ghazal Touched My Heart, Superb, Kamaal Ka Job Kiya Hai,.

Bohat Achche,.
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k.shael
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«Reply #34 on: May 23, 2009, 07:05:14 AM »
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Quote from: jasbirsingh on May 21, 2009, 10:44:48 AM
BAHUT hi khoobsurti sey aap ney yeh ghazal pesh ki hai shally ji

jasbir singh

Shukriya Jass ji, Aapne apne itne busy shedule me se bhi time nikal kar meri ghzal ko pada, tahe-dil se shukriya aapka.

Shally.
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k.shael
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«Reply #35 on: May 23, 2009, 07:06:04 AM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on May 22, 2009, 06:46:43 AM
Shally ji!
Sensitive girls are born-poetesses, Shally! The pulses of love and poetry are co-runners! The craft takes time to muster! I'm happy it's gradually taking the right shape! Please re-read the lines marked by me in green and lime-green! The use of 'haal-e-bimaar' is okay; but 'ishq-e-qadam' ki tarh hi 'mukam-e-dard''raah-e-ishq' ziyaadah thheek hotaa, aisaa mujhey lagtaa hai! Taswwuraat kaa isteymaal achchhaa hai!
                           - abd bundeli

Shukriya Abd Ji, Aapne ghzal ko pasandh kiya aur apna keemti waqt aur aashirwaad diya, bahut badi baat hai mere liye,

Shally.
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k.shael
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«Reply #36 on: May 23, 2009, 07:07:55 AM »
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Quote from: Azeem on May 22, 2009, 12:38:47 PM
Shally Wakhai Kamaal Ki Ghazal Likhi Hai Aapne, Bohat Achche, Kya Hume Coaching Dengi, Shayari Ki,.

Realy THis Ghazal Touched My Heart, Superb, Kamaal Ka Job Kiya Hai,.

Bohat Achche,.

Shukriya Azeem, aap ne ghzal ko itna pasndh kiya aur saraha, aacha laga jaankar mki mera kaam aapke dil tak ko choo gaya, ye sabse badi baat hoti hai ek shayar ke liye, khair coching ki baat karke hame sharminda na kijiye, ham to khud seekh rahe hai, aur umeed karte hai aap hame seekhne ka mouka denge...

Shally.
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #37 on: May 23, 2009, 07:17:12 AM »
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Quote from: k.shael on May 23, 2009, 07:06:04 AM
Shukriya Abd Ji, Aapne ghzal ko pasandh kiya aur apna keemti waqt aur aashirwaad diya, bahut badi baat hai mere liye,
Shally.
You're welcome, Shally ji!
               - abd bundeli
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k.shael
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«Reply #38 on: May 23, 2009, 07:42:04 AM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on May 23, 2009, 07:17:12 AM
You're welcome, Shally ji!
               - abd bundeli

Abd ji plz mujhe shally ji mat kaha kijiye, aap mujhe beti ya aur jo bhi aapka dil kahe keh sakte hai.

Shally.
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #39 on: May 23, 2009, 02:03:36 PM »
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Quote from: k.shael on May 23, 2009, 07:42:04 AM
Abd ji plz mujhe shally ji mat kaha kijiye, aap mujhe beti ya aur jo bhi aapka dil kahe keh sakte hai.
Shally.
I'm happy to have such a nice girl, who feels so honorably about me! Thanks!
                         - abd bundeli
     
           
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #40 on: May 28, 2009, 06:22:22 AM »
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shally ji itna khoobsurat shayari maine kaise miss kardi ,
abhi hi padne ko milla,excellent,very nice. Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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k.shael
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«Reply #41 on: May 28, 2009, 06:31:32 AM »
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Quote from: madhuwesh on May 28, 2009, 06:22:22 AM
shally ji itna khoobsurat shayari maine kaise miss kardi ,
abhi hi padne ko milla,excellent,very nice. Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

Shukriya Madhuwesh Ji,

So nice to see u in my thread.

Shally.
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Talat
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«Reply #42 on: May 29, 2009, 10:26:03 AM »
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Quote from: k.shael on May 20, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
Log kehte hai mere sanam ka dil hai nazuk bahut,
Jaane kaise phir wo meri aankhon ko dete hai anso bahut,

Mana ki mere shehar ke logo ko mohabbat nahi aati,
Par maine husn-e-yaar se qatl hote hue dekhe hai bahut,

Ae dilbhar tum to past ho gaye ho ishq-e-qadam se hi,
Aabhi to aayenge dard-e-mukam, ishq-e-raah me bahut,

Dil ke toot.ne ki aawaj koi sun hi nahi paata hai yahan,
Iss kadar bikhre pade hai duniya me aawajo ke saaj bahut,

Jao tum bhi bewafayi karke khush ho lo mujh se yaar,
Mein pathar hoo.n maine khaye hai pehle bhi dhokhe bahut,

Jinda rehte koi aaya na haal-e-bimaar poochne Shally,
Aab meri kabr pe aansoo bahane aate hai mere yaar bahut.

Shally.

Bohot Khoob Shally .... bohot achcha likha hai !
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k.shael
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«Reply #43 on: May 29, 2009, 10:40:03 AM »
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Quote from: Celmira on May 29, 2009, 10:26:03 AM
Bohot Khoob Shally .... bohot achcha likha hai !

Shukriya Celmira dear, Aapke aane se iss thread ki kadar aur bhad gayi mere dil me,

Shally.
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Talat
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«Reply #44 on: May 29, 2009, 12:10:38 PM »
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You are welcome dear.
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