Man Farda, Man Maazi.....V!PuL YaaRa

by vipul kumar on April 12, 2011, 11:05:57 AM
Pages: [1] 2  All
ReplyPrint
Author  (Read 2317 times)
vipul kumar
Guest
Reply with quote
Here is my First Persian/Farsi kalaam..
Expert comments needed.
please give some of your valuable time....


Na man taalib mandar Masjid, Na man Zoya qaazi...
Man yak qaail moula moula, ja ka naam Daraazi....

Na man aabid makka kaashi, na man paak nimaazi,
Man yak saajid Ishqam Naadir, man yak Yaar Niyaazi...

Na man garza.n dua wa daaru, Haazat chaarasaazi,
Man ra daaru karda.n naai bajuz yak Dam_Saazi....

Na man haajat getii Ishrat, Man na maang faiyaazi....
Man yak aashiq chashm-e surma Naazak jism Gudaazi....

Yak dil Faa'ez sad go Maglub, Baazi Ishqam Baazi,
Go Shud Raazi Aalam Raazi, Shud raazi man raazi.....

Na Man kaamil na man Ghalib, na man harf ejaazi,
Ghalam wa kaaghaz man ri YaaRa, Man Farda man maazi.....!!

Man Farda Man Maazi.......................................



Translation___

I am not a seeker of the temples and mosques Nor i am a searcher of a 'qaazi',
I am just the Fan of God, Whose name is the greatest one......

I am not a worshipper of Makka or Kaashi, Nor i am a Pure 'Namaazi',
I am just a worshipper of the 'Precious Love' and a Desirer of my Lover....

I dont need any Medicine or Prayers, nor any treatment,
My Treatment is nothing other than only Friendship{LOve}.....

I dont want the luxuries of the world, nor i need Benifits...
I am just a lover of the black eyes and the soft body........

One Heart is victorious here while hundreds are defeated, its Love game,
if you accept me then the whole world is accepted, You are happy, I am haapy....
{First 2 'raazi' means accepting anyone, while other means Happy.}

Neither i am complete, nor i am great nay a wonder Word,
{Ghalam=Kalam(Pen)}

My pen and my paper are the Future and the Past........!!
Logged
Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
maazi haal mustaqbil (gul) by gulzargul in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq
Yaara>>> Is Rishte Ko Kya Naam Du? by malli in Shairy-e-Dost (Friendship Poetry)
vipul Yaara by vipul kumar in Tarruf Yoindia Sae : Give your Introduction
Russi Na O Yaara by ishu_singh10 in Love Poetry in Punjabi
maazi....sheba by Sheba in Miscellaneous Shayri « 1 2  All »
Pooja
Guest
«Reply #1 on: April 14, 2011, 03:37:59 AM »
Reply with quote
nice one
Logged
vb
Guest
«Reply #2 on: May 17, 2011, 10:07:36 AM »
Reply with quote
hmmm..!

hum expert comments kya den gay... k faarsi say khud naa-bald hain...

khayaal buhat khoob hain... lakin farsi he main bakol Hafiz Sheerazi sahab...

Na har soorat bar'afrokht dilbari daanad
Na har kay aainaa saazad, Sikandari daanad
Hazaar nuqta-e-baareek tar zamoo een jaa hast
Na har k sar ba taraashad, Qalandari daanad

so jismon ki baat kya karni.. khair..

hum baaki sher chhortay hain.. as comments kuchh likhnay k liyay hum ghazal fifth sher ko letay hain....

hamaaray khayal main isay kuchh yun hona chahiyay... mumkin hay aap ne sahi likha ho.. n hum ghalat hon..

Yak dil faa'iz so maghloob, Baazi ishqam Baazi
gar tu raazi, aalam raazi, tu raazi mann raazi

word 'sad' = 100 ko hum ne sirf is liyay 'so' likha hay k hamen confirm nahi.. k 'sad' arabic hay ya farsi.. word 'go' k meanings farsi main 'bolna' kay bhe hain.. aur 'agarche' k bhe.. donon surat main hamen munaasib nahi laga..

aap kay hindi/urdu kalaam parhay hum ne pehlay bhe.. buhat khoob likhtay hian.. n ye bhe buhat khoob hay... un chand members main say hain aap jinhen sher ka wazan / beher ka kuchh ilm hay..

likhtay rahiyay.. aur agar kuchh bura laga.. tu maaf kejay ga..

ba'qalam-e-khud
vb


Logged
vipul kumar
Guest
«Reply #3 on: May 18, 2011, 07:07:21 AM »
Reply with quote
Bahut bahut shukriya vb sahab....
Jaisa ki maine kaha ye mera pahla farsi kalaam hai, aur main Farsi siikh hi raha hu. To aapke sujhaav mere bahut kaam aayenge..
Aur ye baat bura lagne ki nahi, khush hone ki hai ki aapne mujhe itna waqt diya....
Jahan tak us sher ki baat hai tyo shayad aapki baat sahi hai. 'sad' Ka maamla itna bada nahi hai(as arabic is accepted in Persian) Par aapne jo 'Go' ki bat ki us par maine socha aur kaafi dhundne ke baad uska koi mukammal maani nahi mila mere hi sher ke hisaab se...
To shaayad use usi tarah se tabdeel kar dena chahiye jaise aapne kaha...
Par ab mujhe usme 'Maghlob' ki jagah koi aur lafz chahiye hoga, jiski bahr 'Maghloob' se ek jyada ho... Jaise, Maghloobi(It is not a proper word, i am just discussing about bahr)
Like__

Yak dil Faa'ez so Maghloobi, Baazi Ishqam Baazi...
Go shud Razi aalam Raazi, Man Raazi, Shud Raazi.......

Waise, main samajh nahi paya ki aapne dusre misre me change kyo kiya...
Is par bhi roshni daale to behtar hoga.
All in all, Aapka sujhav mere aur meri ghazal ke liye bahut Faydemand thahra hai....
Shukriya..
Aate rahiye.....
Khush rahiye..
Logged
vipul kumar
Guest
«Reply #4 on: May 18, 2011, 07:10:03 AM »
Reply with quote
Bahut bahut shukriya vb sahab....
Jaisa ki maine kaha ye mera pahla farsi kalaam hai, aur main Farsi siikh hi raha hu. To aapke sujhaav mere bahut kaam aayenge..
Aur ye baat bura lagne ki nahi, khush hone ki hai ki aapne mujhe itna waqt diya....
Jahan tak us sher ki baat hai tyo shayad aapki baat sahi hai. 'sad' Ka maamla itna bada nahi hai(as arabic is accepted in Persian) Par aapne jo 'Go' ki bat ki us par maine socha aur kaafi dhundne ke baad uska koi mukammal maani nahi mila mere hi sher ke hisaab se...
To shaayad use usi tarah se tabdeel kar dena chahiye jaise aapne kaha...
Par ab mujhe usme 'Maghlob' ki jagah koi aur lafz chahiye hoga, jiski bahr 'Maghloob' se ek jyada ho... Jaise, Maghloobi(It is not a proper word, i am just discussing about bahr)
Like__

Yak dil Faa'ez so Maghloobi, Baazi Ishqam Baazi...
Go shud Razi aalam Raazi, Man Raazi, Shud Raazi.......

Waise, main samajh nahi paya ki aapne dusre misre me change kyo kiya...
Is par bhi roshni daale to behtar hoga.
All in all, Aapka sujhav mere aur meri ghazal ke liye bahut Faydemand thahra hai....
Shukriya..
Aate rahiye.....
Khush rahiye..
Logged
vb
Guest
«Reply #5 on: May 18, 2011, 09:40:07 AM »
Reply with quote
vipul kumar jee hum ne tu farsi ko seekhna tak kabhi shuru na kiya is ki kya shudh-budh ho gi hamen... kuchh seekhna he chahtay hain aap say...

sahi farmaaya aap ne.. hamaaray ilm k mutaabik bhe.. lafz 'Maghloob' say ake harf zyada chahiyay ho ga.. wo bhe neechay ko dhalakta huva.. jaisa aap ne misaal k taur par pesh kiya... hum ne tajzia kartay waqt zehen main rakha k aap aur hum choon-kay faarsi ka buhat zyada ilm nahi rakhtay is liyay is misra'a main 'sakta' kuch kaam karta hay... aur kaam chal jaata hay.. wagarna daqeeq nigaahi say kaam liya jaayay.. tu ake jaga 'chashm-e-surma' istemaal huva hay.. jo k hamaaray khayaal say durust nahi.. 'surma-e-chashm' munasib tha.. k maqsad 'surmay ki aankh' nahi...

doosray misray main tabdeeli faqat is liyay ki.. k aap ne zuban-e-farang main jo tarjuma shaaya kiya.. us main 'if' istemaal kiya hay.. hamen munasib laga k 'gar' lafz-e-farsi hay.. aur shayad wo durust maloom hota hay.. 'shud' ka maamla kuchh yoon huva.. k hum iqraar kartay hain k is k sahi maeni say hum na-balad hain.. jaisa aap ne isay likha 'shud' .. hamaari fehem ne itna kaam kiya k ye wohi 'shud' hay jo 'khatam shud' main hota hay.. agar ye 'shood' ka talafuz rakhta hay.. tu hamen is misra ki beher main kaanta sa dikhai deta hay..

aap ne jaisa k 'go shud' likha tu hamen nahi lagta k zuban-e-farang main isay 'if you' k ma'aani main liya jaa sakta hay..

ba-qalam-e-khud
vb
Logged
adil bechain
Umda Shayar
*

Rau: 161
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
31 days, 18 hours and 24 minutes.

Posts: 6552
Member Since: Mar 2009


View Profile
«Reply #6 on: May 18, 2011, 09:53:38 AM »
Reply with quote
Here is my First Persian/Farsi kalaam..
Expert comments needed.
please give some of your valuable time....


Na man taalib mandar Masjid, Na man Zoya qaazi...
Man yak qaail moula moula, ja ka naam Daraazi....

Na man aabid makka kaashi, na man paak nimaazi,
Man yak saajid Ishqam Naadir, man yak Yaar Niyaazi...

Na man garza.n dua wa daaru, Haazat chaarasaazi,
Man ra daaru karda.n naai bajuz yak Dam_Saazi....

Na man haajat getii Ishrat, Man na maang faiyaazi....
Man yak aashiq chashm-e surma Naazak jism Gudaazi....

Yak dil Faa'ez sad go Maglub, Baazi Ishqam Baazi,
Go Shud Raazi Aalam Raazi, Shud raazi man raazi.....

Na Man kaamil na man Ghalib, na man harf ejaazi,
Ghalam wa kaaghaz man ri YaaRa, Man Farda man maazi.....!!

Man Farda Man Maazi.......................................



Translation___

I am not a seeker of the temples and mosques Nor i am a searcher of a 'qaazi',
I am just the Fan of God, Whose name is the greatest one......

I am not a worshipper of Makka or Kaashi, Nor i am a Pure 'Namaazi',
I am just a worshipper of the 'Precious Love' and a Desirer of my Lover....

I dont need any Medicine or Prayers, nor any treatment,
My Treatment is nothing other than only Friendship{LOve}.....

I dont want the luxuries of the world, nor i need Benifits...
I am just a lover of the black eyes and the soft body........

One Heart is victorious here while hundreds are defeated, its Love game,
if you accept me then the whole world is accepted, You are happy, I am haapy....
{First 2 'raazi' means accepting anyone, while other means Happy.}

Neither i am complete, nor i am great nay a wonder Word,
{Ghalam=Kalam(Pen)}

My pen and my paper are the Future and the Past........!!


ho jaati hai ek khanjar se zakhmi urdu meri,
 wo bhala kya kare gi moqabla shamsheer ka
Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased
Logged
vb
Guest
«Reply #7 on: May 18, 2011, 10:04:44 AM »
Reply with quote

na khula hum say ye urdu ka dabistaan tu kya?
shaairi vb! kham-e-zulf-e-mehvishaan tu nahi
(NM)
Logged
adil bechain
Umda Shayar
*

Rau: 161
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
31 days, 18 hours and 24 minutes.

Posts: 6552
Member Since: Mar 2009


View Profile
«Reply #8 on: May 18, 2011, 10:07:58 AM »
Reply with quote
na khula hum say ye urdu ka dabistaan tu kya?
shaairi vb! kham-e-zulf-e-mehvishaan tu nahi
(NM)


 itni samjh hoti to main bhi jawaab deta,
 hoti gar paas taabeeer to ek khawaab deta
Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased Embarrased
Logged
vipul kumar
Guest
«Reply #9 on: May 21, 2011, 07:53:52 AM »
Reply with quote
Fir se ek baar Bahut bahut shukriya vb sahab waqt dene ke liye.
Maafi chahunga ki kaafi waqt laga jawaab dene me. B.Tech. Internal exams chal rahe hai to Jiist thodi masrufiyat me aa gayi hai.
Dusre misre me to Tabdili munasib nahi hogi kyonki ye bahr aur Farsi ki rangat dono ke hisaab se sahi lag raha hai. shayad 'go' ka mani 'if' hi hota hai. Ye to sirf wahi bata raha hu jo mere adne dimaag ko pata hai. Aap chaahe to ham is baat ko bhi fir se chhed sakte hai.
par filhaal Pahle misre me jarur Tabdili ki jarurat hai. Main iske liye sahi bahr aur Munasib lafz dhundhne ki koshish karunga. Aapko bhi agar koi bahut munasib lafz ya misra sujhane ki ichha ho to apka bahut bahut swaagat hai uske liye....
Ye baate.n aur tabdiiliya.n mere ilm ke liye faaydemand saabit hogi.
Fir se shukriya.
Logged
vipul kumar
Guest
«Reply #10 on: May 21, 2011, 07:59:28 AM »
Reply with quote
@Adil Sahab.

Bahut bahut shukriya ki aapne kam se kam ise padhne ki jzehmat to ki. ummid hai kuchh pasand bhi aayi hogi. Aur Faarsi ke maamle me to ham bahut la_ilm hai. Abhi to Farsi me pair hi nahi rakha. Bahut kuchh siikhna baki hai. Kaafi din se masrufiyat ki wajah se kuchh naya farsi me padh ya likh nahi paaya to ilm me ijaafa kaha se ho...
Jald hi kuchh siikhkar naya likhne ki koshish karunga..
Waise, aaj kal to English par zor hai, usme likhne ki koshish ki ja rahi hai.
Zubaan to kaafi achhi hai par mujhe lagta hai english ka literature urdu farsi ke muqabile bahut kamzor hai.
Insha_allah usme bhi agar kuchh ehssaso.n ki rangat la paya to shayad kuchh achha likh pau.n.....
Fir Farsi par bhi aur dhyan dunga.
Shukriya bhai. shaad-o-aabad rahe.n...........
Logged
madhuwesh
Guest
«Reply #11 on: May 21, 2011, 08:08:18 AM »
Reply with quote
Wow Vipul ji  itni achi soch,bahut hi baddiya.great creatio,aap toh mere dil ki baat kahe diya.Vb ji,Adil ji,aap dono ne bahut acha saath diya. Hats off to you! icon_thumleft Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
vb
Guest
«Reply #12 on: May 28, 2011, 08:50:05 AM »
Reply with quote
vipul kumar jee! maafi chahtay hain.. hum pehlay he bayaan kar chukay kay hum farsi say tu kya...shaairi tak ka koi ilm nahi rakhtay... maqsad kisi soorat aap ki tas'heeh karna nahi tha.. aap ne jo likha theek he likha ho ga.. yahan say guzray tu dakhal-andaazi kar gayay.. aisay he jaisay raah chalta koi shakhs kisi par.. awaaz lagaata hay.. jis par maafi chahtay hain aap say...

hamen shaairi ka kuchh ilm nahi... aisa samajh lejay jaisay kisi ugly-faced larki ka koi dil rakhnay kay liyay ya us ka mazaaq uranay k liyay usay kisi beauty-contest main khara kar day.. phir jo us larki ka haal stage par hota hay.. waisa he kuchh haal hamaraa samajh lejay...

hum ne shuru main Hafiz Shirazi sahab ka qata'a likha... maqsad us waqt sirf us ka pehla misra aap kay liyay refer karna tha.. lakin ab baaki kay teenon misray hum par pooray hotay dikhaai detay hain.. agar Hafiz sahab hamaray liyay likhtay tu shayad.. ye misra bhe likhtay...

....... na har k mehfil-bar aayad, shaairi danad

khair.. jaatay hain maazerat kay saath
khush rahiyay..

az-qalam-e-khud
vb

http://www.yoindia.com/shayariadab/miscellaneous-shayri/kabhi-laut-nahi-aaun-ga-nm-t64186.0.html

Logged
vipul kumar
Guest
«Reply #13 on: June 01, 2011, 09:06:19 AM »
Reply with quote
vipul kumar jee! maafi chahtay hain.. hum pehlay he bayaan kar chukay kay hum farsi say tu kya...shaairi tak ka koi ilm nahi rakhtay... maqsad kisi soorat aap ki tas'heeh karna nahi tha.. aap ne jo likha theek he likha ho ga.. yahan say guzray tu dakhal-andaazi kar gayay.. aisay he jaisay raah chalta koi shakhs kisi par.. awaaz lagaata hay.. jis par maafi chahtay hain aap say...

hamen shaairi ka kuchh ilm nahi... aisa samajh lejay jaisay kisi ugly-faced larki ka koi dil rakhnay kay liyay ya us ka mazaaq uranay k liyay usay kisi beauty-contest main khara kar day.. phir jo us larki ka haal stage par hota hay.. waisa he kuchh haal hamaraa samajh lejay...

hum ne shuru main Hafiz Shirazi sahab ka qata'a likha... maqsad us waqt sirf us ka pehla misra aap kay liyay refer karna tha.. lakin ab baaki kay teenon misray hum par pooray hotay dikhaai detay hain.. agar Hafiz sahab hamaray liyay likhtay tu shayad.. ye misra bhe likhtay...

....... na har k mehfil-bar aayad, shaairi danad

khair.. jaatay hain maazerat kay saath
khush rahiyay..

az-qalam-e-khud
vb

http://www.yoindia.com/shayariadab/miscellaneous-shayri/kabhi-laut-nahi-aaun-ga-nm-t64186.0.html



Vb Ji, Mujhe aapka majmoo.n kuchh khaas samajh nahi aaya. kya aap kisi baat se naraz hai.n...
Agar meri koi baat buri lagi ho to maafi chahunga.
Is adne dimaag se koi galti ho gayi hogi. Maaf kare.n.....
Waise, agar naraz bhi hai to narazgi ka sabab bata dijiye taaki main Wo galti dobara na karu....

Aur jaha tak ilm ki baat hai, Main sirf yahi kahunga ki mujhe kuchh bhi nahi aata abhi is fun ke baare me.
Bas jo do-chaar alfaaz dimaag me aa jate hai, unhe toD-MaroDkar kuchh likh deta hu.
Haa.n, waise kaafi kuchh siikhne ki tamanna hai.....
To jo ilm ki baat hai, shayad ham sabhi ek jaise hi hai....
Shukriya bhai............
Logged
adil bechain
Umda Shayar
*

Rau: 161
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
31 days, 18 hours and 24 minutes.

Posts: 6552
Member Since: Mar 2009


View Profile
«Reply #14 on: June 01, 2011, 09:26:21 AM »
Reply with quote
@Adil Sahab.

Bahut bahut shukriya ki aapne kam se kam ise padhne ki jzehmat to ki. ummid hai kuchh pasand bhi aayi hogi. Aur Faarsi ke maamle me to ham bahut la_ilm hai. Abhi to Farsi me pair hi nahi rakha. Bahut kuchh siikhna baki hai. Kaafi din se masrufiyat ki wajah se kuchh naya farsi me padh ya likh nahi paaya to ilm me ijaafa kaha se ho...
Jald hi kuchh siikhkar naya likhne ki koshish karunga..
Waise, aaj kal to English par zor hai, usme likhne ki koshish ki ja rahi hai.
Zubaan to kaafi achhi hai par mujhe lagta hai english ka literature urdu farsi ke muqabile bahut kamzor hai.
Insha_allah usme bhi agar kuchh ehssaso.n ki rangat la paya to shayad kuchh achha likh pau.n.....
Fir Farsi par bhi aur dhyan dunga.
Shukriya bhai. shaad-o-aabad rahe.n...........


VIPUL JI .MUJHE AFSOOS HAI KI MAIN URDU NAHIN JAANTA MOQAMMAL TAUR PE.CHUNKI ZABAAN URDU HAI ISS WAJH KAR TOOTI PHOOTI BOL LETAA HOON.

MAIN YAHI KAHNAA CHAHUNGAA...


             GHAR PE MERE URDU KA SAMANDAR RAHAA,
             KABHI NA DOOBNE KI KOSHISH KI,
             SAHHIL PE KHADAA DEKHTA RAHAA.

  MERE WALID MOHTARAM AUR AAMI URDU MEIN   M.A HAIN AUR WAALID PARSIAN KE BHI ACHCHE JAANKAAR HAIN. HAAN MUJH MEIN YE KAMI RAHI
Logged
Pages: [1] 2  All
ReplyPrint
Jump to:  

+ Quick Reply
With a Quick-Reply you can use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post, but much more conveniently.


Get Yoindia Updates in Email.

Enter your email address:

Ask any question to expert on eTI community..
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
December 23, 2024, 03:14:51 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Recent Replies
by mkv
[December 22, 2024, 05:36:15 PM]

[December 19, 2024, 08:27:42 AM]

[December 17, 2024, 08:39:55 AM]

[December 15, 2024, 06:04:49 AM]

[December 13, 2024, 06:54:09 AM]

[December 10, 2024, 08:23:12 AM]

[December 10, 2024, 08:22:15 AM]

by Arif Uddin
[December 03, 2024, 07:06:48 PM]

[November 26, 2024, 08:47:05 AM]

[November 21, 2024, 09:01:29 AM]
Yoindia Shayariadab Copyright © MGCyber Group All Rights Reserved
Terms of Use| Privacy Policy Powered by PHP MySQL SMF© Simple Machines LLC
Page created in 0.118 seconds with 25 queries.
[x] Join now community of 8508 Real Poets and poetry admirer