Muddat Hui Mar Gaye Hum......!!!

by Talat on September 22, 2009, 04:04:33 PM
Pages: [1] 2 3  All
ReplyPrint
Author  (Read 3433 times)
Talat
Guest
Reply with quote

Logged
Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
Muddat se... by sanju in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq
Muddat say mera dil by muneeb in Shayri for Dard -e- Judai
MUDDAT INTZAAR KI...... by Ninaah in Shayri for Dard -e- Judai « 1 2 ... 9 10 »
Muddat ke baad... by Ravi_Dave in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq
Muddat de Baad by inderjit nandan in Love Poetry in Punjabi
Pooja
Guest
«Reply #1 on: September 22, 2009, 04:06:17 PM »
Reply with quote
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley wah kaya baat hai, bahoot khoob Celmira... Good work!!
Logged
Roja
Guest
«Reply #2 on: September 22, 2009, 05:02:07 PM »
Reply with quote
 Applause Applause
Wonderful gazal talat sis
Logged
shayara
Guest
«Reply #3 on: September 22, 2009, 05:12:01 PM »
Reply with quote
Bohot khoob Celmira ji
Logged
Talat
Guest
«Reply #4 on: September 22, 2009, 06:26:38 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Pooja on September 22, 2009, 04:06:17 PM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley wah kaya baat hai, bahoot khoob Celmira... Good work!!

Thank You Pooja
Logged
Talat
Guest
«Reply #5 on: September 22, 2009, 07:00:04 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Roja on September 22, 2009, 05:02:07 PM
Applause Applause
Wonderful gazal talat sis

Thank You Roja
Logged
madhuwesh
Guest
«Reply #6 on: September 22, 2009, 09:25:56 PM »
Reply with quote
Really touching n beautiful gazal Celmira ji bahut khoob,mindblowing creation.excellent icon_thumleft Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
cara
Guest
«Reply #7 on: September 23, 2009, 06:37:23 AM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Celmira on September 22, 2009, 04:04:33 PM

KYA BAAT HAI....CELMIRA JI.....

MUDDAT HUI MANN SE MAR GAYE HUM..
AB KAHAN HAI UNSE MILNA-MILAANA.

HAAN KHAYALON MEIN AB TAK RAHETE HAI HAMARE,
KUN KI MUSHKIL HAI UNKO BHOOLPANA.

ROOTH GAYE HAIN HAMSE KYA MAALUM KON KASOORWAAR HAIN,
PAHELE BHI CHAH THA UNKO,AAJ BHI WO MERA PYAAR HAIN.

YUN TOH MUDDAT HUI MAR GAYE HUM..
KYA KAREN SAANSEN BAKI HAI TAB TAK HAI NIBHANA.
Logged
salil2002
Guest
«Reply #8 on: September 23, 2009, 06:50:36 AM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Celmira on September 22, 2009, 04:04:33 PM


bahut achche di....

kucch der jo thehra main oonki mazaar par
ek gujre huye kal ka fasana yaad aa gaya
ponch li aankhen aur muskura kar chal diye
toote huye dil ka taraana yaad aa gaya
dekar jo gaya malham k badle zakhm dosto
woh gujra kissa,woh yaar puraana yaad aa gaya
Logged
mazHur
Guest
«Reply #9 on: September 23, 2009, 07:03:03 AM »
Reply with quote
 
Quote from: Celmira on September 22, 2009, 04:04:33 PM



You have good imagination. However, your poem would have greatly enhanced in beauty if you had kept the poetic meter in view. Let me scan your first line...

Nahi he/ hamara/  koi bhi/ thikana

khaloan/ me he bus/ hamien chal/te jaana

The 3rd and other lines are accordingly out of meter or rhythm---you can check it out yourself.

this is just a friendly advice to friends on this forum about   techniques of poetic writing....

for a better understanding of poetic techniques I recommend folks here to read 'MUQADDAMA SHER-O-SHAIREE' BY ALTAF HUSSAIN HAALI.
Logged
HumTum
Guest
«Reply #10 on: September 23, 2009, 09:24:32 AM »
Reply with quote
Talat Ji ....


Wohi Dour Phir Se Chalo Dohraye
HasieN Khush rhe chalo Muskuraye

Suno Tumko Dil Ki Sada Keh Rhi Hai
Muhhobat ke Nagme Chalo Gungunaye

Abr Mein Chamakte sitaroN Ki Maniid
KyuN Na Mil Kar Chalo JagMagaye

Juda Hokar "HumTum" Jee Na Sakenge
Ranjish Ko Dono chalo Bhul Jaaye!!


HumTum
Logged
Talat
Guest
«Reply #11 on: September 23, 2009, 03:43:18 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Shayara on September 22, 2009, 05:12:01 PM
Bohot khoob Celmira ji

Bohot shukriya
Logged
Talat
Guest
«Reply #12 on: September 23, 2009, 03:44:48 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: mazHur on September 23, 2009, 07:03:03 AM


You have good imagination. However, your poem would have greatly enhanced in beauty if you had kept the poetic meter in view. Let me scan your first line...

Nahi he/ hamara/  koi bhi/ thikana

khaloan/ me he bus/ hamien chal/te jaana

The 3rd and other lines are accordingly out of meter or rhythm---you can check it out yourself.

this is just a friendly advice to friends on this forum about   techniques of poetic writing....

for a better understanding of poetic techniques I recommend folks here to read 'MUQADDAMA SHER-O-SHAIREE' BY ALTAF HUSSAIN HAALI.

Thanks a lot Mazhur Sahab for reading and your kind suggestions. I will try to follow what you have suggested. Thank You.
Logged
Rishi Agarwal
Guest
«Reply #13 on: September 23, 2009, 03:48:47 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Celmira on September 22, 2009, 04:04:33 PM


bahut khub calmira ji apne bahut khubb likha h :clap :clap :clap
Logged
Talat
Guest
«Reply #14 on: September 23, 2009, 03:56:02 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: madhuwesh on September 22, 2009, 09:25:56 PM
Really touching n beautiful gazal Celmira ji bahut khoob,mindblowing creation.excellent icon_thumleft Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

Thanks so much Madhu Ji
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3  All
ReplyPrint
Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Ghazals > Topic: Muddat Hui Mar Gaye Hum......!!!
Jump to:  

+ Quick Reply
With a Quick-Reply you can use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post, but much more conveniently.


Get Yoindia Updates in Email.

Enter your email address:

Ask any question to expert on eTI community..
User
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
November 14, 2024, 10:34:33 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Recent Replies
HUME KAHAN ,,,,, SAAHILL
by Michaelraw
[November 13, 2024, 12:59:11 PM]
woh muj se mere khamoshi ...
by saahill
[November 08, 2024, 09:59:54 AM]
savaaloN ke hal kya javaa...
by zarraa
[November 07, 2024, 01:56:50 PM]
Kal halki halki barish th...
by zarraa
[November 07, 2024, 01:55:03 PM]
कवि और कविता
by zarraa
[November 07, 2024, 01:52:40 PM]
parhezz ,,,, saahill
by zarraa
[November 07, 2024, 01:51:59 PM]
mere lafzh kabhi,,,, saah...
by saahill
[October 30, 2024, 05:13:27 AM]
Geraft - (Sequel to "Beda...
by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 07:57:46 AM]
Hifazat - a thriller love...
by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 07:55:06 AM]
INTEQAM - A sequel to "Hi...
by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 06:58:58 AM]
Yoindia Shayariadab Copyright © MGCyber Group All Rights Reserved
Terms of Use| Privacy Policy Powered by PHP MySQL SMF© Simple Machines LLC
Page created in 0.126 seconds with 23 queries.
[x] Join now community of 8508 Real Poets and poetry admirer