Samudra ka uchaal dekh, tairane ka khayal dekh

by livingbytheday on July 07, 2012, 05:54:34 PM
Pages: [1] 2  All
ReplyPrint
Author  (Read 3550 times)
livingbytheday
Guest
Reply with quote
Samudra ka uchaal dekh, tairane ka khayal dekh
Aandhee ke aaghosh mein, jal rahi  mashaal dekh

Tejh hawa kya chali, wo thoda ucha ud gaya
Suraj todne chala , Parinde ki majaal dekh

Seedhe seedhe chalne wale, tedhe tedhe chal rahe
Kamyaabi ke nashe mein, behak rahi chaal dekh

Ek kadam pada galat, qaid ho gaye hain hum
Hur tafar failaa hua, shikaariyo ka jaal dekh

Shehro ke sab raaste kya aane lage gaon tak
Pathar ban gaye nageene, mouko ka kamaal dekh

Jawaan wo tha “bhagat”, desh pe kurbaan hua
Ab bhi duniya de rahi hain, uski hi misaal dekh

Faake pan mein zindagi, kal pe hans kar taal di
Do din ke aaraam mein, gujar gaya hain saal dekh
Logged
mkv
Guest
«Reply #1 on: July 07, 2012, 06:23:15 PM »
Reply with quote
Bahut khoob
Applause Applause Applause
Logged
Iftakhar Ahmad
Guest
«Reply #2 on: July 07, 2012, 07:02:04 PM »
Reply with quote
Bahut hi khoob Deepak bhai, behtareen aur lajawaab. Bahut maza aaya padh ke.
Logged
Aarish
Guest
«Reply #3 on: July 08, 2012, 12:57:50 AM »
Reply with quote
Kya baat hai deepak jee bohot umda ghazal kahi hai , lajwab, sirf wah wah hi nikal rahi hai dil se , aur matale ka to jawab hi nahi, bas ek chooti si baat kehna chahunga lafz mazaal jo aapne likha hai wo lafz majaal hai,,, aur

Ek kadam padi galat, qaid ho gaye hain hum..  is line me lafz padi nahii hona chahiye tha yahan pada hona chaiye tha...  ye meri niji rai hai baqi aap zyada jaante hai mujh se... agar meri baat ghalat ho to gustakhi k liye muafi.....
Logged
sksaini4
Ustaad ae Shayari
*****

Rau: 853
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
112 days, 8 hours and 51 minutes.
Posts: 36414
Member Since: Apr 2011


View Profile
«Reply #4 on: July 08, 2012, 01:49:11 AM »
Reply with quote
waah waah deepak ji kamaal kar diyaa aapne aapkee khidmat men ek rau pesh kartaa hoon
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #5 on: July 08, 2012, 02:30:19 AM »
Reply with quote
Bahut khoob
Applause Applause Applause

thank you sir
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #6 on: July 08, 2012, 02:30:59 AM »
Reply with quote
Bahut hi khoob Deepak bhai, behtareen aur lajawaab. Bahut maza aaya padh ke.

iftakhar ji bahut bahut shukriyaa
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #7 on: July 08, 2012, 02:32:55 AM »
Reply with quote
Kya baat hai deepak jee bohot umda ghazal kahi hai , lajwab, sirf wah wah hi nikal rahi hai dil se , aur matale ka to jawab hi nahi, bas ek chooti si baat kehna chahunga lafz mazaal jo aapne likha hai wo lafz majaal hai,,, aur

Ek kadam padi galat, qaid ho gaye hain hum..  is line me lafz padi nahii hona chahiye tha yahan pada hona chaiye tha...  ye meri niji rai hai baqi aap zyada jaante hai mujh se... agar meri baat ghalat ho to gustakhi k liye muafi.....

aarish ji, thank you so much for the feedback, is manch ka yehi advantage hain ki hum apni writings ko app logo ke feedback se sudhar aur nikhar sakte hain, bahut bahut shukriyaa
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #8 on: July 08, 2012, 02:35:02 AM »
Reply with quote
waah waah deepak ji kamaal kar diyaa aapne aapkee khidmat men ek rau pesh kartaa hoon

Saini sir, aap se appreciation milta hain toh lagta hain, kuch theek thaak likha hain maine, izzat ada karne ke liye shukriyaa sir
Logged
F.H.SIDDIQUI
Guest
«Reply #9 on: July 08, 2012, 07:45:14 AM »
Reply with quote
bahut bahutkhubsurat peshkash .tah e dil se daad . HASAN
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #10 on: July 08, 2012, 01:57:32 PM »
Reply with quote
bahut bahutkhubsurat peshkash .tah e dil se daad . HASAN

bahut bahut shukryaa sir
Logged
ParwaaZ
Guest
«Reply #11 on: July 09, 2012, 04:25:06 PM »
Reply with quote
Deepak Jee Aadaab!


WaaH jee waaH kia kahne janab waaH gazab kar diyaa ... behad
umdaa khayaaloN ke khazaane se is kalaam ko malaamaal kar
diyaa... Usual Smile

Sabhi ashaaroN meiN gazab ki gehrai aur umdaa pan hai janab..
badi hi khoob kalaam kahi hai... Humari dheroN dili daad O
mubbarakbad kabul kijiye... Usual Smile

Likhate rahiye... aate rahiye...
Shaad O aabaad rahiye...

Khuda Hafez... Usual Smile                   

Logged
nidhi_yadein
Umda Shayar
*

Rau: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Waqt Bitaya:
1 days, 7 hours and 46 minutes.
~ nidhi ~

Posts: 5725
Member Since: Nov 2004


View Profile
«Reply #12 on: July 10, 2012, 10:15:27 AM »
Reply with quote
bohat khoob
Logged
jasbirsingh
Guest
«Reply #13 on: July 10, 2012, 10:32:54 AM »
Reply with quote
wah wah wah... bahut khoob ji ...


jasbir singh
Logged
livingbytheday
Guest
«Reply #14 on: July 11, 2012, 02:29:55 PM »
Reply with quote
Deepak Jee Aadaab!


WaaH jee waaH kia kahne janab waaH gazab kar diyaa ... behad
umdaa khayaaloN ke khazaane se is kalaam ko malaamaal kar
diyaa... Usual Smile

Sabhi ashaaroN meiN gazab ki gehrai aur umdaa pan hai janab..
badi hi khoob kalaam kahi hai... Humari dheroN dili daad O
mubbarakbad kabul kijiye... Usual Smile

Likhate rahiye... aate rahiye...
Shaad O aabaad rahiye...

Khuda Hafez... Usual Smile                   



parwaaz ji aapke shabdo se aur accha likhne ki chahat hoti hain, bahut bahut shukriyaa sir
Logged
Pages: [1] 2  All
ReplyPrint
Jump to:  

+ Quick Reply
With a Quick-Reply you can use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post, but much more conveniently.


Get Yoindia Updates in Email.

Enter your email address:

Ask any question to expert on eTI community..
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
December 23, 2024, 05:43:11 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Recent Replies
by mkv
[December 22, 2024, 05:36:15 PM]

[December 19, 2024, 08:27:42 AM]

[December 17, 2024, 08:39:55 AM]

[December 15, 2024, 06:04:49 AM]

[December 13, 2024, 06:54:09 AM]

[December 10, 2024, 08:23:12 AM]

[December 10, 2024, 08:22:15 AM]

by Arif Uddin
[December 03, 2024, 07:06:48 PM]

[November 26, 2024, 08:47:05 AM]

[November 21, 2024, 09:01:29 AM]
Yoindia Shayariadab Copyright © MGCyber Group All Rights Reserved
Terms of Use| Privacy Policy Powered by PHP MySQL SMF© Simple Machines LLC
Page created in 0.145 seconds with 25 queries.
[x] Join now community of 8508 Real Poets and poetry admirer