seekhna-sikhaana.. (by vb)

by vb on December 15, 2013, 12:12:11 AM
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vb
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Hum buzurgon ne laut jana hay
Nau-javaanoN ka ye zamaana hay

Chhor do in ko naseehat karna
Raastaa khud inhen banaana hay

Hum tu thehray yahaN pe pardesi
In ki mehfil hay, dostaanaa hay

Chaar din bus guzaar len yaaN par
Hum ne kya seekhna, sikhaana hay

Kar rahay hen kisi say baaten hum
Shayari tu faqat bahaana hay

Koi thaamay ga barh k ye shama
Ye tasavur bhe ehmaqaanaa hay

Kis say ilm-e-arooz seekhen hum
Ake vb hay so divaanaa hay   ....



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parinde
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«Reply #1 on: December 15, 2013, 12:26:51 AM »
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 Applause Applause Applause Applause
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dksaxenabsnl
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«Reply #2 on: December 15, 2013, 01:41:32 AM »
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 hello2 hello2 hello2 hello2 hello2 hello2
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sksaini4
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«Reply #3 on: December 15, 2013, 01:47:39 AM »
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bahut hee khoobsoorat bayaan
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mazHur
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«Reply #4 on: December 15, 2013, 05:37:39 AM »
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achi kawish he ,,,,laikin ye shair wazan se gira hua he
''Chhor do in ko naseehat karna
Raastaa khud inhen banaana hay''
First line is out of rhythm..ie wazan. Ummeed he aap khud durusti farma lein ge!!;)
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Iftakhar Ahmad
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«Reply #5 on: December 15, 2013, 06:05:25 AM »
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Khoobsoorat ghazal janaab daad qubool kareN.
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vb
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«Reply #6 on: December 15, 2013, 04:42:16 PM »
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achi kawish he ,,,,laikin ye shair wazan se gira hua he
''Chhor do in ko naseehat karna
Raastaa khud inhen banaana hay''
First line is out of rhythm..ie wazan. Ummeed he aap khud durusti farma lein ge!!;)

buhat shukriya... aap ki tavaju ka.. Hum apni khaam-aqali ki waja say isay ab bhe  theek he samajh raha hen... Ku k aap ka ilm hum say behter hay.. Is liyay aap theek Keh rahay hon gay... wesay ye sher baat bhe giri hui he kr raha hay.. Is liyay isay durust krna bhe koi itna zaroori nahi...

Ake baar phir shukriya k saath...
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vb
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«Reply #7 on: December 15, 2013, 04:44:26 PM »
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Aap sub ka buhat shukriya...
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mazHur
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«Reply #8 on: December 15, 2013, 10:50:12 PM »
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buhat shukriya... aap ki tavaju ka.. Hum apni khaam-aqali ki waja say isay ab bhe  theek he samajh raha hen... Ku k aap ka ilm hum say behter hay.. Is liyay aap theek Keh rahay hon gay... wesay ye sher baat bhe giri hui he kr raha hay.. Is liyay isay durust krna bhe koi itna zaroori nahi...

Ake baar phir shukriya k saath...

Sarkar, lagta he aap naraaz ho gaye?
Pehle misre ko doosray se compare keejiye..tu aap ko ehsaas ho ga k woh wazan se gira hua he..
Agar FH Siddiqui sahib ye parh rehay hoan tu is muamlay mein rehnumai farmayein..is mein hum sab ka bhala he!

Aapne is zameen mein ye shair likhna chaha he

Nazuki us ke lab kee kia kehye
Pankhary (Fankhary nahi) ik Gulab kee se he!!

regards
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suman59
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«Reply #9 on: December 15, 2013, 11:04:09 PM »
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Chaar din bus guzaar len yaaN par
Hum ne kya seekhna, sikhaana hay

Kar rahay hen kisi say baaten hum
Shayari tu faqat bahaana hay

bahut khoob
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zarraa
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«Reply #10 on: December 16, 2013, 12:48:12 AM »
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waah bahaut khoob ghazal kahi VB ji
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vb
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«Reply #11 on: December 16, 2013, 04:44:04 PM »
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Sarkar, lagta he aap naraaz ho gaye?
Pehle misre ko doosray se compare keejiye..tu aap ko ehsaas ho ga k woh wazan se gira hua he..
Agar FH Siddiqui sahib ye parh rehay hoan tu is muamlay mein rehnumai farmayein..is mein hum sab ka bhala he!

Aapne is zameen mein ye shair likhna chaha he

Nazuki us ke lab kee kia kehye
Pankhary (Fankhary nahi) ik Gulab kee se he!!

regards

mazHur jee! maazrat chahtay hen k aap ko hamaray comments men narazgi mehsoos hui, halaan-k hamaray alfaz men kahin kuch aisa nahi k naraz-gi ka ehsaas ho... may be aap ko aisa is liyay laga ho ku k aap expect nahi kar saktay hon gay k aap tu muzahqa-khez andaz men baat karen aur doosra phir bhe naraz na ho.. so hamaray reply ko aap ne usi tone men parha, jaisa aap ne comment kiya...

hum ne yehi kaha k hamen ghalati nahi mili... jawaban aap ko chahiyay k is beher k arakeen bayan kar den, aur prove kar den k ghalati kya hay, taa-kay hamari tas'hee ho... agar aap beher k araakeen aur taqtee k asoolon say waqif nahi, tu bhe koi buri baat nahi... jis jaga aap ko misray k rhythm men problem mehsoos ho rahi hay us ki nishan-dahi farmaen takay hum apni mehdood aqal k hisaab say tajziya karen... agar kisi waja say ye bhe mumkin nahi tu bhe hum thankful hen aap k... k jahan problem feel hua aap ne bata diya.. hum zehen men rakhen gay or kabhi moka mila tu shayad problem ko durust kar saken...

hum ne footnote men khud he likh rakha hay... k jahan kuch problem feel ho, hamen mutalaa kiya jayay... so you are most welcome chahay jis mood men bhe comment karen... hum sub logon say kuchh seekh he letay hen.. kuchh tu log sikha jatay hen.. aur kuchh hum khud he seekh letay hen logon say... jaisay aap ki di gai misaal say na sirf aap ka sikhaya ye seekha k lafz 'Pankhary' hota hay 'fankhary' nahi.. aisay he ye bhe seekha k lafz 'nazuki' hota hay, 'najuki' nahi...

aap ne jis sher ki misaal di, hum ne is par bhe apnay sher ko parkha lekin khaami phir bhe na pakar sakay.. Ustad Barkat Ali Khan sahab ki gai hui is ghazal k saath apnay sher ko bhe gun-guna kar dekha... taa-haal hamaray sher ki ghalati aap ki tavaju ki muntazir hay...

shukriya k sath...
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vb
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«Reply #12 on: December 16, 2013, 04:49:08 PM »
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bahut khoob
thanx...
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vb
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«Reply #13 on: December 16, 2013, 04:50:30 PM »
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waah bahaut khoob ghazal kahi VB ji

zarraa jee! nawazisha ka shukriya...
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«Reply #14 on: December 16, 2013, 08:07:57 PM »
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Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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