TERI SHANASAAI MEIN ............................ HASAN

by F.H.SIDDIQUI on November 18, 2013, 09:23:27 PM
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«Reply #15 on: November 20, 2013, 01:55:45 AM »
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Ho gai unse mulaqaat jo tanhaai meiN
Phir Bahaar aa gai ArmaanoN ki Angnaai meiN

Applause


Shad o Aabaad Rahiye


Shihab
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«Reply #16 on: November 20, 2013, 12:53:22 PM »
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Quote from: Saman Firdaus on November 19, 2013, 12:48:37 AM
UmreiN   kat  jaati   haiN  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko
Khoon - e - Insaaf   hai  ,  Munsif   teri   Sunwaai  meiN


Rok   le  Haath   ,  yeh   utthe   to    Qayamat    hogi
Zalzale   qaid   haiN    Zaalim   teri    Angdaai    meiN

Masttttt likha hai aapne.. Tapori language use kre to Dha.Nsu Jhakkasss hai....
Thanks for Dhansu comment .
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«Reply #17 on: November 20, 2013, 07:06:31 PM »
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Quote from: jeet jainam on November 19, 2013, 02:05:55 AM
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
wah wah wah wah wah
thanks , jeet ji .
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«Reply #18 on: November 21, 2013, 02:35:52 AM »
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Quote from: nashwani on November 19, 2013, 02:16:07 AM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

waah laajaaaaaaaawwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbb hasan jee..happy9
thanks nashwani ji .
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«Reply #19 on: November 21, 2013, 03:49:53 PM »
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Applause

buhat khoobsoorat ghazal...

pata nahi F.H.SIDDIQUI sahab.. aap ka likha parh kar hamen kya ho jaata hay... laakh jhutlaaiyay, beher ki girdaanen hamaray saamnay khul jaati hen aur hum ye jaantay huay bhe k ye khilaaf-e-aadaab-e-mehfil ho sakta hay... hum kuch likhnay par majboor ho jatay hen...

is ek sher main, hum maKh-masay men hain k behter kya hay? aap say rah-numai ki darkhwast hay...



UmreiN   kat  jaati   haiN  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko

ya

Umr   kat  jaati   hai  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko


guzaarish hay k isay koi sooraj ko chiraagh dikhanay ki koshish na samjhay... hamen is charhay sooraj k samnay sirf apny diyay say gharaz hay...


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«Reply #20 on: November 21, 2013, 08:11:13 PM »
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ग़ैज़  अपनों  का  सहा  ,  ताने   ज़माने   के   सुने
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«Reply #21 on: November 21, 2013, 08:57:22 PM »
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Quote from: vb on November 21, 2013, 03:49:53 PM
Applause

buhat khoobsoorat ghazal...

pata nahi F.H.SIDDIQUI sahab.. aap ka likha parh kar hamen kya ho jaata hay... laakh jhutlaaiyay, beher ki girdaanen hamaray saamnay khul jaati hen aur hum ye jaantay huay bhe k ye khilaaf-e-aadaab-e-mehfil ho sakta hay... hum kuch likhnay par majboor ho jatay hen...

is ek sher main, hum maKh-masay men hain k behter kya hay? aap say rah-numai ki darkhwast hay...



UmreiN   kat  jaati   haiN  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko

ya

Umr   kat  jaati   hai  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko


guzaarish hay k isay koi sooraj ko chiraagh dikhanay ki koshish na samjhay... hamen is charhay sooraj k samnay sirf apny diyay say gharaz hay...

VB sb . Adab. Ek baar phir aap ne out of turn jawab dene par majboor kiya hai . Mera likha parh kar Bahr ki bareekyan ayaan hone  lagein to ye yaqeenan meri  na-ahli ka khula suboot hai .
Lekin main Bahr ke baare mein jitna samajhta hoon us lihaaz se main nahi samajhta ki sher parh kar makhmase mein padne ki koi baat hai . Agar aap ka matlab Sher k bahr  se kharij  hone se hai to yeh bahr se kharij nahin hai .Lafz UmreiN taqtee mein aata hai . Agar aap ka matlab 'Umr' lafz ka istemaal 'UmreiN' se behtar hone se hai to yahan par umrein ka lafz kisi 1 shakhs ke reference se nahin bulki un sainkdon logon ki umron ke talluq se istemaal kiya gaya  hai jo ya to muqadma ladte hue ooper chale gaye ya budhaape mein abhi tak lad rahe hain .Jabki Umr lafz se 1 fard ka ya khud ka hi gumaan zyada hota hai.....Waise har sher mein koi bhi doosra apni aql o danish k mutabiq tabdili suggest kar sakta hai aur kabhi kabhi behtar soorat bhi .Lekin behtar yeh hai ki shayer ka kisi lafz k istemaal ko pahle shayer ke nazarye se dekha aur samjha jaaye na ki use fauran ghalat samajh liya jaaye ya apni soch ko pathhar ki lakeer samajh liya jaaye. Aapka meri Ghazal ko waqt dene ke liye shukriya .
  
  
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«Reply #22 on: November 21, 2013, 09:18:49 PM »
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Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

lajawaab khoobsurat behad umdaa ghazal hasan sahab.. bahut bahut aur bahut khooooooob.. dhero daaaad.. Usual Smile Usual Smile

Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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«Reply #23 on: November 21, 2013, 11:12:04 PM »
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Quote from: F.H.SIDDIQUI on November 21, 2013, 08:57:22 PM
VB sb . Adab. Ek baar phir aap ne out of turn jawab dene par majboor kiya hai . Mera likha parh kar Bahr ki bareekyan ayaan hone  lagein to ye yaqeenan meri  na-ahli ka khula suboot hai .
Lekin main Bahr ke baare mein jitna samajhta hoon us lihaaz se main nahi samajhta ki sher parh kar makhmase mein padne ki koi baat hai . Agar aap ka matlab Sher k bahr  se kharij  hone se hai to yeh bahr se kharij nahin hai .Lafz UmreiN taqtee mein aata hai . Agar aap ka matlab 'Umr' lafz ka istemaal 'UmreiN' se behtar hone se hai to yahan par umrein ka lafz kisi 1 shakhs ke reference se nahin bulki un sainkdon logon ki umron ke talluq se istemaal kiya gaya  hai jo ya to muqadma ladte hue ooper chale gaye ya budhaape mein abhi tak lad rahe hain .Jabki Umr lafz se 1 fard ka ya khud ka hi gumaan zyada hota hai.....Waise har sher mein koi bhi doosra apni aql o danish k mutabiq tabdili suggest kar sakta hai aur kabhi kabhi behtar soorat bhi .Lekin behtar yeh hai ki shayer ka kisi lafz k istemaal ko pahle shayer ke nazarye se dekha aur samjha jaaye na ki use fauran ghalat samajh liya jaaye ya apni soch ko pathhar ki lakeer samajh liya jaaye. Aapka meri Ghazal ko waqt dene ke liye shukriya .
   
 

F.H.SIDDIQUI Sahab!

sub say pehlay tu hum ye baat gosh-guzaar karna chahen gay, k aap ki ghazal ko parh kar beher ki yaad aana, aap ki na-ahli ki daleel nahi, balkay aap k ash'aar ki khasoosiyat hen k parhnay wala beher ki lehron main kho sa jaata hay... or  beher k arkaan zehen par khultay chalay jaatay hen.... or is bahao main dil-o-damagh lehron k saath behta hay... hamara makh-masay main parna apnay ilm ki kami ki waja say hay k kahin hum say ghalti ho rahi hay tu kahan aur kaisay... jis ki aap say darkhawast ki thi hum ne...

jaisa k aap say rah-numaai ki darkhwast ki gai thi, tu aap k buhat shukar-guzaar hen k buhat wazaahat say aap ne isay anjaam diya...

aap k nazdeek ye beher main durust hay or taqtee main aata hay.. tu yaqeenan durust ho ga... lekin hamaray zehen main jo makh-masaa tha wo kuch aisay tha...



is ghazal ki beher mujtaas he hay aur is k arkaan yeh hen..

mu-faa-i-lun; fa-i-laa-tun; mu-faa-i-lun; fa-lun


Ghalib ki mashehoor ghazal ka misra...

har ek baa; t pe kehte; ho tum keh too; kyaa hai 
mu-faa-i-lun; fa-i-laa-tun; mu-faa-i-lun; fa-lun

(hum ne beher k arkaan ko wazeh karnay k liyay semicolon( ; ) istemaal kiya hay)

ab hum is k pehlay rukan ko likhtay hen ...

aap k hisaab say

mu-faa-i-lun
har aik baa
UmreN kat jaa


hamaray hisaab say

mu-faa-i-lun
har ek baa
Umr kat jaa


Ab rahi baat wahid/jammaa ki tu... ye soch ki baat hay agar zehen main lafz

"logon" ho tu .............. "logon ki umreN"
"insaan" ho tu ............. "insaan ki umr" (insaan lafz wahid bhe hay jama bhe)



Aap ne jaisa k rah-numaai farmai k "UmreN" taqtee main durust hay tu sahi kaha ho ga... hum apnay ilm ko tatoltay rahen gay....


Aakhir main hum ne aap say iltaja-e-mukarar ki thi k isay sooraj ko chiraagh dikhaanay ki koshish na samjha jayay... tu hum aap k shukar-guzaar hen k aap ne usi tarah na sirf itna waqt diya balkay apnay aakhri jumlay tak rah-numaai farmai....


Beher soorat or bila-shuba! aap ki ye ghazal... laa-javaab aur haseen hay...



ake baar phir shukriya k saath ...

vb
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«Reply #24 on: November 22, 2013, 01:40:07 AM »
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Quote from: vb on November 21, 2013, 11:12:04 PM
F.H.SIDDIQUI Sahab!

sub say pehlay tu hum ye baat gosh-guzaar karna chahen gay, k aap ki ghazal ko parh kar beher ki yaad aana, aap ki na-ahli ki daleel nahi, balkay aap k ash'aar ki khasoosiyat hen k parhnay wala beher ki lehron main kho sa jaata hay... or  beher k arkaan zehen par khultay chalay jaatay hen.... or is bahao main dil-o-damagh lehron k saath behta hay... hamara makh-masay main parna apnay ilm ki kami ki waja say hay k kahin hum say ghalti ho rahi hay tu kahan aur kaisay... jis ki aap say darkhawast ki thi hum ne...

jaisa k aap say rah-numaai ki darkhwast ki gai thi, tu aap k buhat shukar-guzaar hen k buhat wazaahat say aap ne isay anjaam diya...

aap k nazdeek ye beher main durust hay or taqtee main aata hay.. tu yaqeenan durust ho ga... lekin hamaray zehen main jo makh-masaa tha wo kuch aisay tha...



is ghazal ki beher mujtaas he hay aur is k arkaan yeh hen..

mu-faa-i-lun; fa-i-laa-tun; mu-faa-i-lun; fa-lun


Ghalib ki mashehoor ghazal ka misra...

har ek baa; t pe kehte; ho tum keh too; kyaa hai  
mu-faa-i-lun; fa-i-laa-tun; mu-faa-i-lun; fa-lun

(hum ne beher k arkaan ko wazeh karnay k liyay semicolon( ; ) istemaal kiya hay)

ab hum is k pehlay rukan ko likhtay hen ...

aap k hisaab say

mu-faa-i-lun
har aik baa
UmreN kat jaa


hamaray hisaab say

mu-faa-i-lun
har ek baa
Umr kat jaa


Ab rahi baat wahid/jammaa ki tu... ye soch ki baat hay agar zehen main lafz

"logon" ho tu .............. "logon ki umreN"
"insaan" ho tu ............. "insaan ki umr" (insaan lafz wahid bhe hay jama bhe)



Aap ne jaisa k rah-numaai farmai k "UmreN" taqtee main durust hay tu sahi kaha ho ga... hum apnay ilm ko tatoltay rahen gay....


Aakhir main hum ne aap say iltaja-e-mukarar ki thi k isay sooraj ko chiraagh dikhaanay ki koshish na samjha jayay... tu hum aap k shukar-guzaar hen k aap ne usi tarah na sirf itna waqt diya balkay apnay aakhri jumlay tak rah-numaai farmai....


Beher soorat or bila-shuba! aap ki ye ghazal... laa-javaab aur haseen hay...



ake baar phir shukriya k saath ...

vb
Shukriya , vb sb. Main ne bahut sanjeedgi se jawaab dene ki koshish ki thhi . Lekin aapke counter reply se lagta hai ki hum dono ka waqt zaya hua. Mujhe mote mote naamon ke sath Bahron ko samajhne ki na salahiyat hai na zaroorat samajhta hoon .Lekin mukhtasar mein itna kahne par iktifa karunga ki aap Bahron mein confused ho gaye hain .Ghalib saheb ka sher ki bahr ka 'digital frame 'is tarah hai :

           1212 1122 1212 22/112

Meri Ghazal ki Bahr ka frame is tarah hai :

            212 2112 2112 2112 / 222

Yaqeenan agar aap sher bahr samjhe baghair use taqtee pe aankne ki koshish kareinge to ghalat hi maloom hoga . Is mein sher ki ghalti nahin bulki Bahr ki shinakht ki ghalti hai . Agar Underwear sar se pahni jaaye ya Banyan pair mein daali jaaye to  
ghalti pahenne waale ki hai na ki kapdon ki . Hamari rahnumaai ke liye isi site par aur internet par kaafi mazaameen hain jinse humlog enlighten ho sakte hain . Sanjida tabsiron aur discussions ke liye unse roshni haasil ho sakti hai.

 
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«Reply #25 on: November 22, 2013, 03:55:48 AM »
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Quote from: F.H.SIDDIQUI on November 18, 2013, 09:23:27 PM

Ho   gai    unse    mulaqaat   jo    tanhaai   meiN
Phir  Bahaar  aa  gai  ArmaanoN   ki  Angnaai  meiN
 Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard =))tauba tauba. doctor ne sakht hedaaayt di thi ki tumhein tanhaa na chhodaa jaaye warna phir se daure padne lage ge

Shabnami  si  hai  Fiza  ,  Baad - e - Saba   dheere   chal
Kho  na  jaaooN   maiN  kaheeN  KaliyoN  ki  Ra'anaai  meiN
 Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard tumhaare saamne bade-bade aashique bhi paani bhare ge. aur majnu dekh le to worship hi shuru kar de tumhaari

Bahr - e - Khaamosh  se  gahri  ,  teri   neeli  AankheiN
Doob   jaane   de   hameiN   bhi   isi    Gahraai    meiN
govt. ne meri aankho pe paabandi laga di hai. sunglass pahan ke rahti hoon. kyon ki kai aashique isme doob kar mar gaye hain Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard!

Ghaiz  apnoN   ka   saha  ,  Taane   zamaane   ke   sunay
Hum   to    barbaad    huay    teri    Shanasaai    meiN

agar dushmani karo ke mujh se to iss se bhi buri haalat ho jaaye gi Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard!
Dard - e - Dil  rahta  hai  yooN  to , ho  koi  bhi  Mausam
Aur   badh   jaata   hai  par  ,  Hijr  ki   Purwaai  meiN
 Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hardhijr ki purwaai kya sentence istemaal kiya hai

UmreiN   kat  jaati   haiN  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko
Khoon - e - Insaaf   hai  ,  Munsif   teri   Sunwaai  meiN

 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley :clapping:ye indian judiciary ka loop hole hai
Rok   le  Haath   ,  yeh   utthe   to    Qayamat    hogi
Zalzale   qaid   haiN    Zaalim   teri    Angdaai    meiN

 Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard =))aise sense of humour pe koi bhi ladki aap pe fida ho jaaye gi fazal sahab
De  na  paaye ga  tujhe   Atlas - o - Kimkhwaab   'Hasan'
Dil  ka  tohfa  hai   bahut   aaj  ki   Manhgaai    mein
 Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard Laughing hard =))na ji na mujhe to aisi hi ghazlo.n ka tohfa chahiye

.......................


हो  गई   उन   से    मुलाक़ात   जो   तन्हाई   में
फिर   बहार   आ   गई   अरमानों  कि  अंगनाई  में


शबनमी  सी  है  फ़िज़ा , बाद - ए - सबा  धीरे  चल
खो  न  जाऊं   मैं   कहीं   कलियों  की   रानाई  में

 
बह्र - ए - ख़मोश  से   गहरी  ,  तेरी  नीली  आँखें
डूब    जाने    दे   हमें   भी   इसी   गहराई   में


ग़ैज़  अपनों  का  सहा  ,  ताने   ज़माने   के   सुने
हम   तो    बर्बाद    हुए    तेरी    शनासाई    में
 

दर्द - ए - दिल  रहता  है  यूँ  तो , हो कोई भी मौसम
और  बढ़  जाता  है  पर  ,  हिज्र  कि   पुरवाई  में


उम्रें   कट   जाती   हैं    लेते   हुए   तारीखों   को
खून - ए - इंसाफ   है   मुन्सिफ   तेरी   सुनवाई  में


रोक   ले  हाथ  ,  ये  उट्ठे  तो   क़यामत   हो  गी
ज़लज़ले   क़ैद    हैं    ज़ालिम    तेरी   अंगड़ाई   में
 

दे  न  पाये गा  तुझे  अतलस - ओ - किमख्वाब 'हसन'
दिल  का  तोहफ़ा  है  बहुत   आज  कि   मंहगाई   में 



fazal sahab bahut mazaa aayaa waqai aapke dimaag, soch aur qalmband karne ka tariqa nirala hai. rau due hua icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower!
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mkv
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«Reply #26 on: November 22, 2013, 10:14:42 AM »
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Aadaab Sir
dobara reply karne ka man kar gaya.
kuch khaas hai ab isme.
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F.H.SIDDIQUI
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«Reply #27 on: November 22, 2013, 01:19:12 PM »
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Quote from: Iftakhar Ahmad on November 19, 2013, 03:48:18 AM
Hasan sir bahut khoob, ye sher khaastaur pe bahut pasand aaya:

UmreiN   kat  jaati   haiN  , lete  huay   taareekhoN   ko
Khoon - e - Insaaf   hai  ,  Munsif   teri   Sunwaai  meiN



Iftakhar saheb , Housla afzai ke liye bahut bahut Shukriya , Duaaein .
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«Reply #28 on: November 22, 2013, 01:28:07 PM »
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Quote from: F.H.SIDDIQUI on November 22, 2013, 01:40:07 AM
Shukriya , vb sb. Main ne bahut sanjeedgi se jawaab dene ki koshish ki thhi . Lekin aapke counter reply se lagta hai ki hum dono ka waqt zaya hua. Mujhe mote mote naamon ke sath Bahron ko samajhne ki na salahiyat hai na zaroorat samajhta hoon .Lekin mukhtasar mein itna kahne par iktifa karunga ki aap Bahron mein confused ho gaye hain .Ghalib saheb ka sher ki bahr ka 'digital frame 'is tarah hai :

           1212 1122 1212 22/112

Meri Ghazal ki Bahr ka frame is tarah hai :

            212 2112 2112 2112 / 222

Yaqeenan agar aap sher bahr samjhe baghair use taqtee pe aankne ki koshish kareinge to ghalat hi maloom hoga . Is mein sher ki ghalti nahin bulki Bahr ki shinakht ki ghalti hai . Agar Underwear sar se pahni jaaye ya Banyan pair mein daali jaaye to 
ghalti pahenne waale ki hai na ki kapdon ki . Hamari rahnumaai ke liye isi site par aur internet par kaafi mazaameen hain jinse humlog enlighten ho sakte hain . Sanjida tabsiron aur discussions ke liye unse roshni haasil ho sakti hai.

 

buhat shukriya... yaqeenan hum say ghalati huvi... aap ne tas'hee farmai.... neez aap ne daur-e-jadeed ki sarf-o-nahoo k aitebaar say bhe rahnumai farmai...

bakol kisi shayar k...


wo baat saaray fasaanay main jis ka zikr na tha
wo baat un ko buhat naa-gavaar guzri hay (NM)


ake baar phir shukriya k saath
vb
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«Reply #29 on: November 22, 2013, 02:21:18 PM »
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Quote from: sksaini4 on November 19, 2013, 09:09:20 AM
ग़ैज़  अपनों  का  सहा  ,  ताने   ज़माने   के   सुने
हम   तो    बर्बाद    हुए    तेरी    शनासाई    में

naayaab dheron daad
Saini saheb , Bahut mashkoor  hoon .
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Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Ghazals > Topic: TERI SHANASAAI MEIN ............................ HASAN
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