Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..:Ghazals

Bishwajeet &amp;amp;amp;#039;Musaahib&amp;amp;amp;#039;

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bahut dino se mere man me yah baat thi ki kash main bhi ghazal beher me likh pata ya fir jaan pata ki beher kya hai ya fir takhti kaise ki jaati hai, fir main YO India par aaya jahan par maine bahut kuch ya yun kahe ki jo bhi sikha aap logon ko dekhkar or padhkar hi sikha hai..
aaj maine apni pahli ghazal beher me likhne ki koshish ki hai or iska sara credit main Aqsh Jee, Saini Sir Or Iftakhar Ji notworthy

ko dena chahta hun,
Agar isme kuch galti hai to ye sirf merii nadaani hai or agar kuch achhaii hai to ye bas Aqsh Jee, Saini Sir Or Iftakhar Ji ki wazah se...
I really want to say thanks for all from the bottom of my heart.... happy3

but really I am very nervous to post this Ghazal....

212 212 212 212
जा के आना के ये शाम है आपकी ...
ज़िंदगी आज अब नाम है आपकी ....

आज़माइश के हारे क्या ज़िंदगी ..
अब ग़ज़ल ही निज़ाम है आपकी ...

हाथ अरमान के अब मिला सामने ...
सामने दुन्या तमाम है आपकी ...

दिलरुबा के इल्ज़ाम भी हैं लगे ...
आशिकाना ये गाम है आपकी ...

अब "मुसाहिब" पे इल्ज़ाम फरमाइये ...
नाम इंसान मुदाम है आपकी ...

gaam - step, mudaam - routine

212 212 212 212
Jaa k aanaa k ye Shaam hai aapkii..
Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

haath armaan ke ab milaa saamne...
SAAMNE duniyaa tamaam hai aapkii..

aazmaish k haare kyaa zindagii..
ab ghazal hii nizaam hai aapkii..

DILRUBAA ke ilzaam bhii hain lage...
aashikaanaa ye gaam hai aapkii..

ab musaahib p ilzaam farmaaiye..
naam insaan mudaam hai aapkii..


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khujli

Guest

Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapii..

«Reply #1 on: December 05, 2013, 05:49:48 PM »

Quote from: Bishwajeet 'Musaahib' on December 05, 2013, 05:31:53 PM

but really I am very nervous to post this Ghazal....

212 212 212 212
जा के आना के ये शाम है आपकी ...
ज़िंदगी आज अब नाम है आपकी ....

आज़माइश के हारे क्या ज़िंदगी ..
अब ग़ज़ल ही निज़ाम है आपकी ...

दिलरुबा के इलज़ाम भी हैं लगे ...
आशिकाना पैगाम है आपकी ...

हाथ अरमान के अब मिला सामने ...
सामने दुन्या तमाम है आपकी ...

अब "मुसाहिब" पे इल्ज़ाम फरमाइये ...
नाम इंसान मुदाम है आपकी ...

212 212 212 212
Jaa k aanaa k ye Shaam hai aapii..
Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapii..

haath armaan ke ab milaa saamne...
SAAMNE duniyaa tamaam hai aapkii..

aazmaish k haare kyaa zindagii..
ab ghazal hii nizaam hai aapkii..

DILRUBAA ke ilzaam bhii hain lage...
aashikaanaa paigaam hai aapkii..

ab musaahib p ilzaam farmaaiye..
naam insaan mudaam hai aapkii..

boss!!!!!!!! ek baat .......ashiqana paigaam hai aap ka
mudaam ka matlab kya hai
Usual Smile


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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapii..

«Reply #2 on: December 05, 2013, 05:55:50 PM »

Quote from: qalb on December 05, 2013, 05:49:48 PM

boss!!!!!!!! ek baat .......ashiqana paigaam hai aap ka
mudaam ka matlab kya hai
Usual Smile

shukriyaa qalb ji, maine w sher sudharne ke liye hata liya hai, or mudaam ka matlab routine hai..


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RAJAN KONDAL

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapii..

«Reply #3 on: December 05, 2013, 05:57:46 PM »

wha wha bhut khub


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khujli

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapii..

«Reply #4 on: December 05, 2013, 05:59:25 PM »

Quote from: Bishwajeet 'Musaahib' on December 05, 2013, 05:55:50 PM

shukriyaa qalb ji, maine w sher sudharne ke liye hata liya hai, or mudaam ka matlab routine hai..

boss!!!!!!!!! thank you.vaise aap likhte bahut achha ho. bahr kee samjh toh mujhe nahin hai. per aap ka kalaam hamesha hee kubsurat hua karta hai

Usual Smile


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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #5 on: December 05, 2013, 06:11:27 PM »

Quote from: qalb on December 05, 2013, 05:59:25 PM

boss!!!!!!!!! thank you.vaise aap likhte bahut achha ho. bahr kee samjh toh mujhe nahin hai. per aap ka kalaam hamesha hee kubsurat hua karta hai

Usual Smile

hauslaafzaii ka bahut bahut shukriyaa qalb ji..


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sksaini4

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #6 on: December 05, 2013, 06:11:48 PM »

abhee aur koshish karen yoon hee theek ho jaayegaa


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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #7 on: December 05, 2013, 06:25:48 PM »

Quote from: sksaini4 on December 05, 2013, 06:11:48 PM

abhee aur koshish karen yoon hee theek ho jaayegaa

ji bilkul Sir, I am trying my level best....


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Saman Firdaus

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #8 on: December 05, 2013, 06:46:14 PM »

Aapne to bahot achhaa likha hai..

Mujhe to pta bhi nhi hai ki Ghazal hoti kya h.. sad5


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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #9 on: December 05, 2013, 06:50:29 PM »

Quote from: Saman Firdaus on December 05, 2013, 06:46:14 PM

Aapne to bahot achhaa likha hai..

Mujhe to pta bhi nhi hai ki Ghazal hoti kya h.. sad5

Shukriyaa Saman Ji, aapko pata hai hamare YO par bahut saare umda shayar or ghazalkar hain, bas unke contact me rahein or sikhte rahein....jaroor sikh jayengi aap bhi..


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Sudhir Ashq

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #10 on: December 05, 2013, 07:05:23 PM »

जा के आना के ये शाम है आपकी ...
ज़िंदगी आज अब नाम है आपकी ....

आज़माइश के हारे क्या ज़िंदगी ..
अब ग़ज़ल ही निज़ाम है आपकी ...

दिलरुबा के इलज़ाम भी हैं लगे ...
आशिकाना पैगाम है आपकी ...

हाथ अरमान के अब मिला सामने ...
सामने दुन्या तमाम है आपकी ...

अब "मुसाहिब" पे इल्ज़ाम फरमाइये ...
नाम इंसान मुदाम है आपकी ...

Applause


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Guest

Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #11 on: December 05, 2013, 07:44:47 PM »

buhat achhi baat hay...

hum khud kuchh achha ya sahi tu nahi likh sakay... lekin apnay naa-qas ilm k mutaabiq jo zehen men aya, socha k aap tak puhncha den...

hum zara puraanay daur k log hen... beher ki digital framing k tareeqa-kaar say naa-waaqif hen... hum apni likhi fazooliyat men agar kuchh follow karnay ki koshish kartay hen tu wo purana tareeqa hay....

urdu poetry ki mainly 19 beher hen, jin ki sahi samajh sirf chand shayars ko he reh gai hay.. in 19 behers ki further types bhe hen... in k naam likhen tu sahi; but yahan is ka koi faida nahi..

hum sirf mashwaray k taur par keh rahay hen, isay maanena ya na maanena aap ka haq bhe hay aur ikhtiyar bhe... mashvara ye hay k ye shama jo chand logon k paas reh gai hay usay thaam len tu achha hay... jis tezi say daur badal raha hay, ye shama ake baar bujh jayay ge tu shayad phir na jal sakay..

beher k ilm ko mukamal seekhnay k liyay tu shayad kisi achhay shayar say kai saal parhna / seekhna paray, lekin itna bhe buhat hay, agar aap poetry ko beher k hisaab say parhna seekh len... yehi tez tareen tareeqa hay, lekin is men masla sirf ye hay k ye rhythm hay is liyay likh kar samjhana buhat mushkil hay...

hum kuchh kitaabon k naam likh rahay hen.. jo is ilm par buhat achhi samjhi jaati hen... may be koi kisi k kaam aa jayay

(1)Raaz-e-Arooz : Seemab Akbarabadi
(2)Dars-e-Balaaghat: S. R. Farooqui
(3)Nikaat-e-Sukhan: Hasrat Mohani
(4)Chiraagh-e-Sukhan: Yaganah Changezi
(5)Umdah Urdu Arooz: Mohammad Zubair Farooqui
(6)Tafheem-ul-Arooz : Jamaluddin Jamal

ba-qalam-e-khud
vb


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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #12 on: December 05, 2013, 08:25:59 PM »

Quote from: vb on December 05, 2013, 07:44:47 PM

Shukriya Sir or mai bhi bas try kar raha huN ki bas sikh jaun, is hauslaafzaai ka or is help ka bahut bahut shukriyaa..


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aqsh

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #13 on: December 05, 2013, 08:41:36 PM »

Arre bishwajeet ji.. mujhe jo kuch maloom tha bas wohi ilm aapse share kee mai toh... baaqi sab kuch aapki mehnat aur lagan hai... waise main yehi kahoongi ke saini sir ki baat par dhyaan do... koshish karte raho....aur rahi ghazal ki baat toh har baar ki tarah bahut hi achchi ghazal rahi.... dheron dheron daaaaaaaaad...


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F.H.SIDDIQUI

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Re: Zindagii aaj ab Naam hai aapkii..

«Reply #14 on: December 05, 2013, 09:01:39 PM »

Biswajeet ji , Aap mubarakbad ke mustaheq hain ki aap baher mein likhne ki taraf raghib hue . Pahl koshish achhi hai, agarche ghaltiyan hain. Wazan aur bahron ki taqtee par dhyan dein aur likhte rahye . Apne doston se mashwira bhi karte rahye. Jald achhi tarah likhne lagein ge.Urdu script aur zubaan se waquif hon to VB sb ki refer ki hui Urdu ki kitabein bhi consult kar sakte hain . Aap ki kamyaabi k liye duaaein .


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