इस दौर में

by pratikdubey83 on December 21, 2011, 03:39:58 AM
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pratikdubey83
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.....................इस दौर में ................
---------------------------------------------
इस दौर में जमीर,सिल कर चल रहे हैं सब..
दिलो में गुबार भरकर,गले मिल रहे हैं सब..

सिलवटी चेहरे,बोझ होने लगे हैं घरो में..
पुरानी चीजे नजरो से,परे कर रहे हैं सब...

किसी ने चेहरे पर,किसी ने सिने पर ख़ाक डाली...
बड़ी शिद्दत से उस दिन,यारी निभा रहे थे सब..

शहर की गलियों में,अजीब सा था माहोल
हर नुक्कड़ पर खुद को खुदा,कह रहे थे सब...
------------------------------------------------ sad11
***प्रारब्ध*** (२१-१२-२०११)
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MANOJ6568
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«Reply #1 on: December 21, 2011, 03:45:58 AM »
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nice
.....................इस दौर में ................
---------------------------------------------
इस दौर में जमीर,सिल कर चल रहे हैं सब..
दिलो में गुबार भरकर,गले मिल रहे हैं सब..

सिलवटी चेहरे,बोझ होने लगे हैं घरो में..
पुरानी चीजे नजरो से,परे कर रहे हैं सब...

किसी ने चेहरे पर,किसी ने सिने पर ख़ाक डाली...
बड़ी शिद्दत से उस दिन,यारी निभा रहे थे सब..

शहर की गलियों में,अजीब सा था माहोल
हर नुक्कड़ पर खुद को खुदा,कह रहे थे सब...
------------------------------------------------ sad11
***प्रारब्ध*** (२१-१२-२०११)
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sksaini4
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«Reply #2 on: December 21, 2011, 07:05:13 AM »
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 Applause Applause Applause Applause
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pratikdubey83
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«Reply #3 on: December 21, 2011, 03:55:05 PM »
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Pranam sir...

Ap ka protsahan yani kisi award se kam nai hain mere liye...
mujhe kripaya ye bataiye ki urdu ki koi dictionery hain internet par?
jis me hindi shabd aur unke urdu mayne likhe ho....ya urdu bhasha sikhne ka koi upay.....!!

aap ki badi kripa hogi....mujhe urdu sikhni hain....!!!
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mkv
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«Reply #4 on: December 21, 2011, 04:17:29 PM »
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Is baar aap ghajal ke kaafi kareeb hai. dobara padhiye pata chal jayega kaha galti ki hai.
seekhne ki iccha hai to sab possible hai.
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pratikdubey83
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«Reply #5 on: December 21, 2011, 04:36:06 PM »
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TO MKV

mere soch k hisab se 2 galtiya ki hain maine...
1) pehle 2 sher vartaman ke haal darshate hain aur tisre sher se ekdam hi gazal ka kaal pariartan ho gaya...jo atpata lag raha hain....

2) Dusre sher ka praman bilkul bhi mel nahi kata gazal ke anya shero se...

aap ka kaise aabhar manu samajh nahi aata...lekin aap isi tarhe sikhate rahiye...
main wada karta hoon age aur accha likhne ki koshish karunga...

kya aap mujhe please gazal likhne ke koi niyam ho to bataenge....mujhe is baare me koi jankari nahi hain...main bas apne samanya gyan k aadar se likh raha hoon...

mera email id de raha hoon....sabhi log yaha mujhse jyada anubhavi hain...mere liye aadarniya hain...aap ke margadarshan ki jarurat hain mujhe...

pratikdubey83@gmail.com
Mob. : (+91)9665891075
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