(2nd April 2003)
Maine just 9th std paas kiya tha aur 10th class mein mera pehla din tha…..hamesha ki tarah main last bench mein akela baitha tha…..i was weak in studies….aur hamessha masti karta rehta tha…..tabhi ek ladki classroom mein aayi…tall, cute, lambe baal ,muskurane ki koshish karti...thoda ghabrai hui….class mein sirf last bench hi khali thi…so na chahkar bhi use mere saath baithna pada….she was so gorgeous…main nazarein chupakar use dekh raha tha….lecture par lectures beet gaye….aur mein usi ko dekta reh gaya……tabhi mere doston ne mujhe yaad dilaya ki “school khatam ho gaya chal ghar chal”…pata hi nahi chala ki yeh din kaise nikal gaya….aaj jab main ghar pahucha …toh pata nahi mujhe kya ho raha tha…hal pal uska hi chehra nazar aa raha tha….bar bar usi ke khayal dimag mein aa rahe thay…..usi ek jhalak ne pata nahi kya jadoo kar diya……..
Se was so gorgeous…aisa lagta tha jaise uuper wale ne apne bando ko chutti dekar khud use apne haatho se banaya tha….uski aankhein behat khubsurat thi…jo bhi use dekhe dekhta reh aaye…apni zulfon ko kaano ke peeche chupati aur apne lattoon se khelti…kya batao kitni sooni lagti thi…..uski is ada ne hi mejhe uska deewana kar diya tha…isme meri kya galti uska toh khud khuda bhi deewana tha…
(3rd April 2003)
Aaj jab mein so kar utha to ek ajib si feeling mehsoos kar raha tha…guitar ki awaaz kaano mein goonj rahi thi…..kya yeh excitement tha, nervousness ya kuch aur…pata nahi….. aaj subah se main bahut saaj dhaj raha tha…alag alag hair styles try kar raha tha….aaj chalte waqt mere pair zaldi zaldi uth rahe thay…aaj usse uska naam puchunga….aaj who phir mere saath baithegi….bus yehi sochkar ek ajib si excitement mere andar aa gayi thi……main aaj tym se pehle hi class mein aa gaya tha…..raat bhar introduction ki jo taiyaari ki thi aaj use ajmane ka din tha……toh finally who class mein aayi par yeh kya….wo aage wali bench mein baith gayi….oh no!!!!!.....sare kiye karaye par pani phir chukka tha…….” Gaurav” mere saath baith gaya…oh…by the way…gaurav is my best friend…....oh…god…!!!bus ab yehi bacha tha……..koi baat nahi ….ab bari thi back up plan use karne ki….”interval”…yes….interval mein usse baat karunga…..
So finally interval ho gaya…..sab bacche lunch karne bahar chale gaye ….kuch bewkuf ab bhi class mein baithe they….but it doesn’t make any much difference…main uske karib gaya…”hi I am manoj”…. “hi I am manoj”…. “hi I am manoj”….oye yaar pata nahi mujhe kya ho raha tha….main bol to raha tha par muh se aawaaz nahi nikal rahi thi…..par itne mein who peeche mudi….usne kaha
Komal;“hi I am komal”
….(complete silence)…..do minute tak ko conversation nahi…
komal:”hi I am komal!!!”…..
manoj:”oh hi….aaa…..main……aaa….hi………aaa…..”
komal:…tum shayad manoj ho right?
Manoj:…nahi…..aaaa….ha…..shayad…..han…I am manoj…
Yaar itna to kabhi main viva mein bhi nahi haqlaya….usne kaha….”plz join us for lunch”…..han…han…kyu nahi….nahi…nahi….aaa…maine lunch kar liya hai….oopps….yeh maine kya keh diya apne hi pair mein khulhadi mar li…par majburi thi…..main apni jindagi main aaj tak kabhi lunch nahi laya tha…aur kisi ladki ke saath lunch??? Yeh to main soch bhi nahi sakta…..damn….i missed the opportunity….kher koi baat nahi…..atleast maine usse baat to ki……..maine?
...oops I mean usne mujhe baat ki…..
School khatam hone ke baad maine uska peecha kiya…..woh bus mein baith gayi…..phir kya tha maine apni bike nikali….oops sorry..i mean maine apni cycle nikali…..aur uski bus ka peecha kiya….mujhe paanch kilometer cycling karni padi….huh…who bhi sirf yeh pata karne ke liye ki who rehti kahan hai….
Us din ke baad se roz main uske bus ka peecha karta tha…sirf dil ko yeh tassalli den eke liye ki who sahi salamat ghar pahuch gayi hai……uske baad mein ghar jata tha….mom roz puchti thi..”itna late kyu aata hai”….ab kya bolo…yehi ki mom apka bete bada ho gaya……extra class ko bahaana mar kar maine baat taal di……maine ab uske bare mein kafi information nikal li thi…abt u her likes and dislikes, hobbies….etc……...ab humare beech duriyaan kam hone lagi thi…hum dono ek dusre ko jaane lage thay……maine uske saath time spend karne ke liye ussi ke tuition classes ko join kar liya tha…….tuition mein bhi padne nahi…usi ko dekne jata tha……mujhe music ka bada shauk hai……shaam ko main music classes bhi jata tha……tabhi ek din maine dekha ki who bhi music classes join kar rahi hai……woooow…..ise kehtein hai kismat…”jab khuda meherbaan to gadha pehalwaan”….accha hai ab main uske saath kuch aur pal beeta sakta tha……
(30th April 2003)
Aaj school ka half day hai…… Aaj mein uski ki bus mein uske saath jaa raha tha……usne puccha “manoj tum kahan ja rahe ho”……maine jawab diya” ghar jaa raha hun”…….”mera ghar tumhare ghar se kuch hi duri par hai”……par use kya pata tha main panch kilometer peeche rehta hun…….and once again luck favored the brave…..actually main brave nahi but still…It favored me….bus kharab ho gayi……aur manzil do kilometer dur thi…….maine himmat jhutakar usse kaha……….” Bus jab tak thik hoti hai let just hav a coffee “….usne haan keh di…..maine driver se kaha…..”bhai aaraam se thik karna…Chai wai piyo…..koi tension nahi hai”…..oye yaar!!!! Ab yeh kya…aas paas sasta restaurant bhi nahi hai…..or hai bhi to “café coffee day “…..huh…..manoj beta teri toh ab wat lag gayi……menu dekha toh sir chakrane laga….jeb mein haath dala toh….paise aadhe bhi nahi……ab back up plan use karne ka waqt aa gaya tha……”apni fees ke paise”…par yeh kya……yeh dono kaun hain……richa aur neha……..itne mein komal ne kaha….”hi neha…..we r having coffee…..would u like to join us”…plzzzz “ha” mat kehna……main yehi soch raha tha….par free ki dawat kaun miss karega…..baith gayi who dono bhi…..hey bagwaan aaj toh main lut gaya…….jaise taise in dono lo rafa dafa kiya…….ab main aur komal akele thay……par isse pehle ki main kuch kehta …….yeh….saala…..bus thik ho gayi……damn the luck……kher..bus mein baitkar hum ghar pahuche…I mean who ghar pahuchi…..phir mujhe wahan se wapas apne ghar aana pada by walk….kyuki wallet mein paise bache nahi thay…
(19th may 2003)
Ab hum acche dost ban chuke thay…ab who mujhe apni har baat batane kagi thi….
Aaj class mein mam questions puch rahi thi…answer na aane par she was sending everyone out….. nahiiiiiii……aisa nahi ho sakta….agar mam ne mujhe bahar nikal diya to saari image ki dhaggiyaan ud jayegi…to kya tha…maine aur gaurav ne chup chap apne notes nikale aur bench ke neeche chupa liye…..ab mam ne mujhse question pucha…..aur maine…notes mein dekhkar…answer kar diya……..puri class chup…..bacche hairaan……mam preshan……oye yaar!!!! Manoj ne answer kiya…..mam ko yakeen nahi aa raha tha…..phir kya tha mam ne mujhse lagatar question puchne shuru kar diya…aur maine gaurav ki help se saare jawab de diye……..mam ko is baar jhatka hi lag gaya………mam ka to pata nahi….par haan komal zaroor impress ho gayi thi……
Lecture ke baad who mere pass aayi…usne mujhe kaha…..”manoj tum toh padai mein kaffi acche ho”…..maine kaha “ya I knw that……it’s a piece of cake for me”…….usne kaha” yaar mujhe chemistry aur maths kuch samajh mein nahi aata…can u me help me out”……maine kaha “haan haan zaroor….anytime…..chemistry aur maths ka toh main champion hun”…….usne kaha “thik hain phir shaam ko tum mere ghar aakar mujhe thoda explain kar diya karo”……haan thik hai….mujhe bahana mil gaya…..ab main direct uske ghar ke andar……par yeh kya yeh to maine socha hi nahi….mujhe kabhi jindahi mein 60% aya nahi….aur 80% to kabhi dekha hi nahi……yehaan pass hone ke wandein hain…aur main chala usse padane……..ab to kuch karna padega….beta…soch…
(20th may 2003)
Aaj mein seede mam ke paas gaya……aur maine kaha …”mam..mujhe kuch doubts hain kya aap clear kar sakti hain??”.....mam ko toh maine pata liya…….mam ne mujhse kaha “thik hai…..tum free lectures mein mere pass aao and clear ur doubts”….ab toh mera time table hi bigad gaya tha……school khatam hota tha do baje…phir uske saath uske ghar tak jakar wapas aata to char baj jate they uske baad uske saath tution paanch baje se 6 baje tak….aur uske baad music classes 630-730 tak….aur phit uske ghar 800-900 baje tak…aur phir finally apne ghar around 930 in the night….main thaka hara ghar pahuchta tha to phir padne baith jata tha….raat ko 1200 baje tak padta tha…..mom bhi hairaan ho gayi thi….padta kyu nahi bhai…padhunga tabhi to jakar uske doubt clear karunga……meri tabiyaat bhi ab bigadne lagi thi…..par to gain something u gotto loose something….
(7th June 2003)
Finally pre boards shuru hone wale they…. Now lets see whether my work is paying off or not…..hum dono ne milkar kafi padai ki thi….
(18th June 2003)
Aaj results ka din hai……sab log mujhe ghur kar kyu dekh rahein hain..isse pehle main kabhi itna nervous nahi tha…kyuki kabhi pass hi nahi hua tha….jaise taise result mila toh kya solid jhatka laga…I got 78% percent…..wat… the…. I mean I was totally surprise….toh finally pappu pass ho gaya with flying colors…..par mujhe to komal ke result ka interzaar tha…..i was even more surprised that she got 90 %....hollyyyy cowwww….kher koi baat nahi…bhai maine jo padaya hai….maine toh pehle hi kaha tha…..its a piece of cake for me….itne mein mujhe komal dikai di….woh meri taraf aayi…aur aatein hi usne mujhe gale laga liya…..woh bhi puri class ke saamne…. I was so embarrassed ki kya kahu…hey but was a moment to remember….
(4th august 2006)
Aaj school ke baad hum dono ek saath ghar jaa rahe thay….tabhi ek senior ne hume gher liya…his name was Rajeev....he was passing stupid comments on her…komal ne mujhe bataya ki yeh usse roz pareshan karta hai….…mann to kar raha tha….ki saalo ko udhar hi peetun…..par who teen thay…..meri toh wat laga dete….tabhi unme se ek ne komal ka haath pakad liya…..bus phir kyat ha meri sanak gayi…maine uska haanth chutaya…aur wohi par usko ek jhapad mara…..usne kaha “saale bahut hero ban raha hai…tu ruk yehaan abhi batata hun”…..phir pata nahi who kahan gaya…..maine komal ko kaha ki “ mujhe kuch thik nahi lag raha hai…tum ghar chali jao …main baad mein aunga”..,…mujhe pata chal gaya tha ki who apne dosto ko bulane gayein hain…..isliye maine komal ko kaha ki who wahan se chali jaaye…roz roz ki khit pit se achha hai ki aaj he matter solve kar dein……..main bus itna chahta tha ki komal safely wahan se chali jaaye……usne meri baat maan li…aur who chali gayi……itne mein Rajeev paanch logo ke saath wahan aya…main samajh chukka tha ki beta…ab main toh gaya kaam se…….tab tak komal jaa chuki thi…..bus meri tension khatam hui….saalon ne aate ke saath hi mujhe petna shuru kar diya…..petna kya…who to mujhe dho rahe thay…saalon ne bahut buri tarah mara……mere haath pair buri tarah cheel gaye thay….tabhi unme se ek ne mere sar par zor se mara…mera sar phut gaya….aur khun nikalne laga…who log darr gaye aur wahaan se bhag khade hue….mere aankhon ke samne adhera cha raha tha…..i fainted there……..jab thik se hosh aaya to main hospital mein tha….bed par leta….doctor ne kaha ki it will take atleast a week to recover…….oh shit!!....mujhe is baat ka zyada afsos tha ki ab mujhe one week tak komal se dur rehna padega…….
(5th august 2003)
Aaj jab need khuli toh komal mere samne baithi thi….uski aankhen nam thi..usne kaha..”kya zarurat thi….yeh sab karne ki”…..…maine. kaha…”.yaar maine toh kuch kiya hi nahi..jo kiya sab unhone kiya”……yeh suntein hi who muskurane lagi…..muskurate hue uski num aankhen aur bhi khubsoorat lag rahi thi……uski is muskurahat ke liye mein zindagi bar is bed par letne ke liye taiyaar hun……yeh sunkar who sharma gayi….usne kaha….”tum jaldi thik ho jao…I really missing u”…..pata nahi….uske ye words ne kya jaadu kar diya…..aisa laga saare zakhm jaise bhar gayein hon…….ab who roz shaam mujhse milne aane lagi……
(10th august 2003)
Mujhe pata chal chukka tha ki pyaar mein dil tutne se zyada dard sar phutne par hota hai……Aaj thoda accha mehsus kar raha tha….toda chal phir pa raha tha….maine dekha ki jinhone ne mujhe peeta tha….unme se do hospital ke reception mein kade they….aur unhe kaafi chotein aayi thi……tabhi gaurav aur komal mere paas aaye komal ne mujhe kaha ki usne gaurav ko bataya ki meri is halaat ka jeemedar kaun hain….aur usne meri yeh halaat ki…..aur gaurav ne unki…….komal ke jaane ke baad gaurav mere paas aaya….usne muhse kuch kaha …jisne mujhe sochne par kaafi majbur kar diya….usne kaha ki…… he likes komal….aur aaj who log phir komal ko preshaan kar rahein thay…..aur usse dekha nahi gaya….he showed them the taste of there own medicine…..usne mujhse kaha ki…he really likes komal…. School ke pehle din se hi….woh use acchi lagti hai…..he can do anything for her….gaurav ke jaane ke baad maine kaafi socha…..ek taraf bachpan ki dosti thi…..aur dusri taraf …..komal……..gaurav mera dost tab se tha jab main shayad dosti ka matlab bhi nahi janta tha…….aur kuch mahino ka pyaar saalon ki dosti ke saamne har gaya……maine socha who komal ko mujhse zyada pyaar dega……
(16th september 2003)
Ab main puri tarah thik ho chuka tha…wapas school jana shuru ho gaya tha……xams ho rahein thay…..acche jaa rahe thay…aur komal ke toh mujhse bhi acche jaa rahe thay pata nahi kaise mere 70s mein aatein thay aur who 90s mein laathi thi…pata nhai main usse padha raha tha ki who mujhe……...…tabhi gaurav mere paas aaya….”yaar komal mujhe bahut acchi lagti hai…kuch kar na plz……tu uska best friend hain na”…..tabhi komal mere paas aayi…..woh ro rahi thi….reason tha ki uski practical book barish mein puri bheeg gayi aur khrab ho gayi…..aur kal submit karna tha….mujhse uska rona dekha nahi gaya….maine usse kaha ki “sab thik ho jayega main kuch karta hun”……aaj raat maine…raat bhar jagkar uskenotes complete kiye…subah 530 baje tak main likhta raha…….mere notes bhi incomplete thay par mujhe uski parwah nahi thi…zyada se zyada mam mujhe dainteingi….but its was not new to me……
(17th September 2003)
Main jaldi se gaurav ke paas gaya aur use kaha ki “yeh notes komal ko de dena aur kehna ki tune likha hai”……gaurav ne mana kiya par maine use mana liye…….usne komal ko waise hi bataya jaisa maine use kaha tha…she was impressed with him….gaurav ne mujhe aakar thanks kaha….woh aaj bahut khush tha….
Ab unke bich nazdikiyaan badh gayi thi…dono khush thay…….par pata nahi…kyu main unki khusi mein shamil nahi ho pa raha tha…..
(12th October 2003)
Aaj gaurav ka birthday hai……usne mujhe kaha ki aaj who komal ko propose karne wala hai…. Usne mujhe party mein invite kiya..par maine zaruri kaam ka bahana bana liya…aur kaha ki “main aaj nahi aa paounga”….
(13th October 2003)
Aaj main gaurav ke paas gaya aur usse pucha ki “kal kya hua???…….”.i was totally shocked….usne mujhe kaha ki kal usne komal ko propose kiya tha par usne kaha ki who kisi aur ko chahti hai……gaurav ka dil tut chukka tha…..aur mere dil ko bhi kaafi choot lagi thi……uska best friend hone ke bawjud usne mujhe kabhi nahi bataya ki she loves someone…….maine komal se pucha to usne kaha ki woh time aane par bata degi…..
(28th October 2003)
Aaj school mein komal ne mujhe ek cheez dikai…..it was a statue of an angel…..jo uski ek best friend ne use bachpan mein di thi…..it was close to her heart…and she has never shown it to anyone else……the statue was really beautiful………its was the second most beautiful creation that I have ever seen…..pehli wali shayad batane ki zarurat nahi hai.
(30th October 2003)
Pata nahi aaj komal thodi dukhi nazar aa rahi thi….main reason pucha toh usne bataya ki….uski woh gift shayad school mein usse kahin ghum gayi…..is baat ki fikar uske chehre par dekhi ja sakti thi…aaj school mein bhi uska mann nahi lag raha tha…mujhe uske chehre se gham ko nikal bahar karna tha…..aaj school ke baad main archies gallery gaya…..wahan same to same gift dekha……price tag dekha to haalat hi kharab ho gayi…iska price tha 1700 rs……mera udas chehra dekhkar shop owner jinki umr kareeb 60 hogi….mere paas aayi usne mujhe kaha….ki kiske liye le rahe ho…maine kaha…”nahi nahi…le nahi raha hun…sirf dekh raha hun”….woh samajh chuki thi……maine unhe puri baat batayi…..unhone mujhe kaha…..”tum iske 1000 rs. he de do…….baki maaf raha…..par ek shart hai….tum use kabhi mujhse zaroor milana”……thx aunty…”aapni meri bahut badi problem solve kar di”……phir main zaldi ghar gaya aur …….pehli baar maine zindagi mein chori ki…..dad ke wallet se atm card churaya…..aur jhat se atm gaya paise nikale, gift le aur wapas aaya……dad ko pata lag chukka tha ki atm card missing hai….saara ghar dunda par nahi mila aur milta bhi kaise…unke honhaar bete ne jo churaya hai……..raat ko main chup chap dad ke kamare mein gaya….aur aahiste se dad ke wallet mein atm card rakh diya……so finally my mission was accomplised….over and out!!!!....
(1st November 2003)
Aaj maine school mein use woh gift de diya…...maine usse kaha ki …”.us din yeh galti se mere bag mein reh gaya”…… woh kafi khus ho gayi…..uski us muskan ke samne main apna saara risk, tension bhul gaya…..bus main hamessha use muskurata hua dekna chahta hun….
(11th November 2003)
Today is komal’s birthday…..aaj maine uske liye kuch khass plan kiya hai…who mere paas aayi …aaj uske ghar mein party thi….usne mujhe invitation diya…. Aur kaha ki..”shaam ko zarur aana or else she won’t be celeberating her birthday…”.
Shaam ko maine uski sister ko kaha ki use chaat par bulaye…..aur jaise who sidiyon se aane lagi….maine lights off kar di…..aur jaisi hi usne chaat par kadam rakha maine lights on kar di…aur ek shayari kahi…..
“aap aayi humare garib khane mein
To is kaniz ka jahaan jaise jannat ho gaya
Hum khud apni awaaz sunne ko taras rahe thay
Aapke kadmo ki aahat suni to yeh lamha saari zindagi ho gaya
Yun chandni mein na nikla kijiye..
Apko dekhkar chaand bhi sharma gaya
Phulon ko apni khubsoorti par ghamand tha
Aapko dekha toh sara bagh murjha gaya
Ab zarurat nahi hai chand aur sitaaron ki
Aapke chehre ke noor se yeh jahaan roshan ho gaya
Aur aapki tariff mein kya bayaan karu
Apki khubsoorti ke aage toh yeh shayar bhi haar gaya”
Phir maine guitar par khud ka composition use sunaya….she was flattened…who buri tarah sharma gayi thi…woh mujhse nazarein nahi mila pa rahi thi…..woh mere karib aayi…usne mujhe kaha “yeh sab karne ki kya zarurat thi”…….maine kaha “tumhari khusi ke liye yeh toh bahut choti cheez hai”….aur maine use ek gift diya….it was her painting made by me….woh us painting ko dekti reh gayi…aur main use dekh raha tha…..usne kaha “kya main itni sundar hun”….maine kaha…”chand se koi uski chandni ke bare mein nahi puchta……phulon se koi unki khushboo ke bare mein nahi puchta….sagar se koi uski gehrai ke bare mein nahi puchta……isliye main tumhare bare mein kya kahun agar kuch kahunga bhi toh upar wale ke is nayab tauffe ki tauheen hogi……”….pata nahi aaj shayariyaan badi nikal rahi thi……..maine socha ki aaj sahi moka hai….main use apne dil ki baat bata deta hun….main uske aur karib gaya……hum itne karib aa gaye thay ki ek duske ki saanson ko mehsoos kar sakte thay….maine usse kaha “ main bhagwaan se yehi chahta hun ki who tumhe hamesh kush rakhe…tumpar par kabhi gam ka saaya bhi na pade…..tumhe meri hisse ki bhi khushiyaan mile…..”……….itne main komal ne mujhse kaha…”tum mujhe kaafi like kartein ho na???”……maine kaha han….”bahut zyada”…usne kaha “kyu main khubsurat hun isliye???.....”.maine kaha “pata nahi ….mere paas koi wajah nahi hai tumhe pasand karne ki……tum behad khubsurat ho…mujhe tumhari aankein, tumhari muskaan, tumhari har ada pasand hai….tumhe dekta hun toh mujhe jeene ka ehsaas hota hai…tumse baatein sunta hunt oh lagta hai…yeh pal ruk jayye aur main tumhe suntan hi rahun……”…kya hua serious ho gayi kya??? Arre yeh jo maine tumhe kaha yeh sab movies ki lines hain jo tumhe koi bhi aira-gaira keh sakta hain……main batata hun main tumhein kitna like karta hun….socho ki agar kabhi tumhara accident ho gaya aur tum comma mein chali gayi……main tab tumhare karib rahunga aur tumhare haathon ko apne haathon mein lekar kahunga ki…maine tumse kaha ha ki mujhe tumahari aankhen pasand hai…par is waqt tum mjhe dekh nahi paogi…maine kaha tha I like ur smile…but you can’t smile now…maine kaha tha mujhe tumhari har ada pasand hai….but now u can’t even move ur hands….par tabhi main tumhe utna hi like karunga jitna aaj karta hun……aur aaj se 40 saal baad jab tumhare baal safed ho jayenge…tumhare chehre par jhuriyan pad jayengi….main tabh bhi tumhe itna hi like karunga…….” Itna kehkar main uske kaano ke karib gaya….aur aahiste se kaha….”i……….love…. to be ur friend through out my life and even after that”…..what!!!! “friend???”…..yeh sab mere muh se kya nikal raha hai…….yaar “I love you” kahan gaya….main chahkar bhi use propose nahi kar paa raha tha…itne mein uski sister upar aa gayi aur usne kaha “didi…dad bula rahein hain……cake katne ka time ho gaya hai”…..oh shit!!!!!...saari planning ki waat lag gayi…..hum niche aa gaye….woh cake kat rahi thi…par uski nazarein mujhe hi dekh rahi thi…..party ke baad who mere karib aayi…..usne kaha “manoj tum mere sabse acche dost ho…I am glad that you met me in my life”….aur phir usne mere gaalon par halke se kiss kiya….. I was cursing myself..itna accha moka hone ke bawjud I missed the opportunity……kher jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai….let see…..
(28th February 2004)
Pata hi nahi chala ki itne mahine kaise nikal gaye..Humne diwali, New Year ek saath celebrate ki…..kai moke bhi mile par main keh nahi paya….jab bhi kehne ki koshish karta kuch aur nikal jata…..kher abhi board xams najdeek thay…maine socha ki abhi time thik nahi hai…..xams ke baad kahunga…..par main thoda uspar gussa bhi tha….usne ab tak mujhe us insaan ka naam nahi bataya tha….
(26th march 2004)
Finally board xams khatam ho chuke thay…..komal mere paas aayi usne mujhse kaha ki…
“Manoj aaj main kuch weeks ke liye out of station jaa rahi hun..toh aaj shaam ko mujhse milne zaroor aana main tumse kuch kehna chati hun”…..main abhi bhi gusse mein tha maine socha main use kuch zyada hi bhav de raha hun…husna, rona manoj ke saath but when it comes to love she..loves someone else whom i don’t know…..aaj main nahi aaunga…..jab mujhe miss karegi toh apne aap line mein aa jayegi…..aur main usse milne nahi gaya…..usne mujhe call karne ki bhi koshish ki par maine phone nahi uttaya….usne voice message bhi bheja par maine dhyaan nahi diya…..
(28th April 2004)
Mujhe komal se mile ek mahina ho chukka tha….i was really missing her…..main roz uske ghar ke paas se guzarta tha par lock dekhkar ….nirash ho jata tha……I tried her no. but it was of no use….
Maine socha ki result lene who zarur aayegi….i got around 70s and she surprising got 92%...........main uska kafi der taq wait karta raha…par who nahi aayi…..main uske ghar bhi gaya par tala laga hua tha……neighbours se puccha toh unhe bhi kuch nahi pata tha….main ab ghar par hi baitha rehta hun….kisi cheez ka bhi mann nahi lagta…isi beech main apna voice mail check kar raha tha…..toh 26th march ko uska ek mail tha…..jab maine check kiya toh…..usme usne kaha tha ki…..”Manoj mein hamessha ke liye delhi jaa rahi hun main tumse milna chati hun….plz mujhse baat karo….main tumhare ghar bhigayi thi par pata chala tum wahan nahi rehtein ho....i have left something at archies gallery …….plz ho sake toh aakhri baar mujhe milne aa jao…I need you”……..itne dino baad uski awaaz suni toh kya batao…mujhe kitna accha laga…..main zaldi se archies gallery gaya wahan wohi aunty khadi thi….mujhe dekhkar unki aankehin bhar aayi aur unhone mujhse kaha ki “manoj…komal aai thi use …she left u something”….. ….ek chota se box tha….maine who box khola toh dekha ki usme wohi angel ki staue thi aur ek note tha mere naam ka…main note padne laga…..
“ manoj…..main kaafi dino se tumhe kuch kehna chahti thi..par keh nahi paati thi…pata nahi tum kya sochoge……par aaj main yeh keh rahi hun…main jis insaan ko love karti thi who aur koi nahi tum hi ho……I really love you more than anything else……jab tum pass hote ho toh mijhe bahut accha lagta hai…..tumhare bina ek pal bhi nahi guzarta……..main tumhe school ke pehle din se hi like karti hun….tumhari har style, tumhari har harqat mujhe pasand hai…tumhare baat karne ka tarika….tumhari mere aur auro ke liye izzat yeh sabhi baatein mujhe tumhe chahnein par majboor karti hai……pata hai…sirf tumhare saath waqt guzarne ke liye maine music classes join kiye thay…….main padne mein kaafi acchi hun but just for ur company maine tumse jhut kaha ki I am weak in studies……gaurav ne mujhe sach sach bata diya tha ki us din mere notes tumne likhe thay…...meri who gift gum nahi hui thi…who mom ne hi ghar mein kahin rakh di thi…yeh baat main tumhe batane waali thi par usse pehle hi tumne mujhe new wali gift kar di…..isse pehle ki main kuch kehti maine socha kit um meri kitni parwah kartn ho…..aur us din ke baad se main tumhe aur bi like karne lagi…..kafi baar maine tumhe propose karna chaha par…himmat nahi hoti thi….aaj main tumhare ghar bhi gayi toh pata chala ki wahan par tum rehte hi nahi ho….isliye main yeh note yehaan chod kar jaa rahi hun…aur who jo meri original gift thi who main tumhare liye chod rahi hun…aur tumahri wali gift aur kuch haseen pal apne saath le ja rahi hun…….u will always have a special place in my heart ….manoj yeh sab jaanne ke baad main yeh toh nahi expect karti ki u love mee too……par plz don’t hate me…….
Urs komal”
I am a very strong guy…main kabhi bhi apni zindagi mein nahi roya par pata nahi ….aaj bhi main nahi rounga par…kambakth aankhon se aansoo kyu beh rahein hain…..
Friends I hav learned only one thing from this…If you love someone then plz don’t wait…apne dil ki baat wohi keh do…kya pata kal kehne ki himaat ho par shayad who insaan hi na ho…
Plz come back into my life!!!!
Thanks for reading……
on eTI community..
