Aye larki! hamari baat suno (NM)

by vb on August 05, 2010, 04:00:40 PM
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kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.

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«Reply #1 on: August 05, 2010, 09:17:16 PM »
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Vb ji kya kahen ab hum... aap sach me jaadugar hain... shabdon ke jaadugar.. aapke geet padhte hain to bas kho hi jaate hain unme.. jaane kya hai aapke geeton me ki hum doob jaate hain unme... bahut khoobsurti se aap apne dil ke ehsaason ko shabdon me bayaan karte hain.. maanna padega Vb ji aapki shabdon ki jadugari ko... aapke geet hamaare rongte khade kar dete hain.. ek ajeeb si kashish hai aapke geeton me... sach... bahut khoob likhte hain aap... aur aapke har geet ki tarha ye bhi bahut khaas aur bahut alag... bahut pyaara likah hai aapne... bahut bahut khoob...!!!
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«Reply #2 on: August 06, 2010, 05:08:53 AM »
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vb ji.....jab padhna shuru kiya ise laga tha yunhi kuch hoga ladkiyon par....
par jab padhti gai bas doobti gai iske shabdon me iske bhaavon me...yun laga jaise koi mujhse hi keh raha aho
aap itni khubsurti se ye keh gaye ek ladki ki jeewan ki sachchai k yun laga jaise bas padhte hi jaun....
kai bar padhi ise aur har bar ek naya chehra samne aaya...
vb ji u r excellent writer.....sach me jaise klaskar ji keh gaye shabdon k jaadugar...sach hai ye.....
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«Reply #3 on: August 06, 2010, 04:53:29 PM »
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...without a doubt, your magical kalam has done it again, keep up the good work! I can't praise like others did, cuz I lack the ability to find perfect words, but tried something along the same lines...ghalatiyaan maaf plz!

Oh deewane, Aey shoudai,
bin bole tum ik kissa suno!
Ik naye khayaal ke taaney mein,
bin girah faQt ik adal chuno!

Ik larki ki looh-e-mazaar
kissa yeh koi gehra nahin,
us jaisey jahan mein aur bahut
bas mukhlis-e-adab pe pehra nahin

veeran khayalon ka raaz hay kya,
ik ehsaas hay aur kuch bhi nahin
kya mila na tha us rab say usay,
zindagi se shikwa kuch bhi nahin

woh bholi surat, saanwli moorat,
ankhon mein masti, rangon mein basti
na woh sunder, na woh sheetal,
ik chhayya jaisi uski hasti

masroor, magan ik chanchal si,
aasha'on kee duniyaan bun'ne lagi
pal chin apni masti mein,
ehsas bhare pal chun'ne lagi

is jahan kee wehshat se marhoom,
uski khushiyon ko nazar lagi
woh bhaavuk, komal kaya si,
dasht-e-tanhayi ki dagar lagi

hawaon ke sar-sarahat se bhi
kuch sehmi-sehmi rehne lagi
phoolon ke anjuman mein say,
kaanton kee chubhan ko sehne lagi

hasrat bhari nigahein ik din
kuch aisey khamosh huyeen
kissay, kalaam sab bhoole usko,
sehra see namosh huyeen

yeh ik din ka khel na tha,
ashkon ko behtay saal lagey
pankh laga ke urhney wale,
zameen pe aane khayal lage

jo man mein tha so keh diya
na raas aye kalam-dari usay
woh muflis bay-bas tanha nahin
par dukhti hay duniya-dari usay

apne jeevan ki veeraniyon ko
kar shabdon ke naam chali,
kar dena maaf jo ho sake tu
dhal us jeevan kee shaam chali

zindagi usko naseeb nahin,
kehti hay pal pal marne do
(ik dua hay uski jo sun sako
sab mumkin hay jo chaho tu)
ghar ke masoom parindon ko,
na aur saza do rehne do
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«Reply #4 on: August 06, 2010, 06:12:57 PM »
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Quote from: uknown user on August 06, 2010, 04:53:29 PM
...without a doubt, your magical kalam has done it again, keep up the good work! I can't praise like others did, cuz I lack the ability to find perfect words, but tried something along the same lines...ghalatiyaan maaf plz!

Oh deewane, Aey shoudai,
bin bole tum ik kissa suno!
Ik naye khayaal ke taaney mein,
bin girah faQt ik adal chuno!

Ik larki ki looh-e-mazaar
kissa yeh koi gehra nahin,
us jaisey jahan mein aur bahut
bas mukhlis-e-adab pe pehra nahin

veeran khayalon ka raaz hay kya,
ik ehsaas hay aur kuch bhi nahin
kya mila na tha us rab say usay,
zindagi se shikwa kuch bhi nahin

woh bholi surat, saanwli moorat,
ankhon mein masti, rangon mein basti
na woh sunder, na woh sheetal,
ik chhayya jaisi uski hasti

masroor, magan ik chanchal si,
aasha'on kee duniyaan bun'ne lagi
pal chin apni masti mein,
ehsas bhare pal chun'ne lagi

is jahan kee wehshat se marhoom,
uski khushiyon ko nazar lagi
woh bhaavuk, komal kaya si,
dasht-e-tanhayi ki dagar lagi

hawaon ke sar-sarahat se bhi
kuch sehmi-sehmi rehne lagi
phoolon ke anjuman mein say,
kaanton kee chubhan ko sehne lagi

hasrat bhari nigahein ik din
kuch aisey khamosh huyeen
kissay, kalaam sab bhoole usko,
sehra see namosh huyeen

yeh ik din ka khel na tha,
ashkon ko behtay saal lagey
pankh laga ke urhney wale,
zameen pe aane khayal lage

jo man mein tha so keh diya
na raas aye kalam-dari usay
woh muflis bay-bas tanha nahin
par dukhti hay duniya-dari usay

apne jeevan ki veeraniyon ko
kar shabdon ke naam chali,
kar dena maaf jo ho sake tu
dhal us jeevan kee shaam chali

zindagi usko naseeb nahin,
kehti hay pal pal marne do
(ik dua hay uski jo sun sako
sab mumkin hay jo chaho tu)
ghar ke masoom parindon ko,
na aur saza do rehne do

mind blowing reply ji....aap jo bhi hain bht khub likha hai aapne..toooooooooo goooodddd
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«Reply #5 on: August 07, 2010, 12:48:53 AM »
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bahut bahut khoob likha hai aapne Unknown user ji... bahut hi pyaara likha hai aapne... !!!

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tamanna.pt
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«Reply #6 on: August 07, 2010, 03:29:54 AM »
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   Bahut hi pyara geet likha hai Vb ji aapne. Ekdum fresh sa. hello2 hello2
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«Reply #7 on: August 09, 2010, 01:29:05 PM »
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klaskar jee! buhat shukriya aap ka k parha aap ne or taareef ki wo bhe kuch is qadar k hamen sharmindagi honay lagi...

aap ne itna kuch likhnay ko time nikala.. once again buhat shukriya aap ka..
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vb
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«Reply #8 on: August 09, 2010, 01:31:02 PM »
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*Kasak*...Dil Ki jee! kuch zyada he tareef kar gaeen aap.. is qadar kuch nahi.. bus yoonhi kabhi kuch likh letay hain.. jo jaanay shairi k zumray main aata bhe hay k nahi..

aap ka buhat shukriya k parha aap ne or itnay saaray comments likh dalay hamari poem ki nazar...
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«Reply #9 on: August 09, 2010, 01:32:06 PM »
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tamanna.pt jee! buhat shukriya aap ka k waqt diya, parha aap ne or itnay sundar comments chhoray..
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kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.

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«Reply #10 on: August 09, 2010, 01:33:29 PM »
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bhalaa taarif se bhi sharmindagi hoti hai kya... agar aap aisa kahenge to humko lagega ki humse koi galti ho gayi... aap likhte hi itna achcha hain ki taarif kiye bina reh nahi pate... aur aisi kavita ke liye agar time na nikaal paayen to bhalaa ye time kis matlab ka.... n you are welcome Vb ji...!!!

Quote from: vb on August 09, 2010, 01:29:05 PM
klaskar jee! buhat shukriya aap ka k parha aap ne or taareef ki wo bhe kuch is qadar k hamen sharmindagi honay lagi...

aap ne itna kuch likhnay ko time nikala.. once again buhat shukriya aap ka..

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«Reply #11 on: August 09, 2010, 01:37:40 PM »
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klaskar jee! buhat shukrya ake baar phir aap ka..
sharmindagi tu honi he hay.. koi aur jaanay na jaanay.. hum tu in geeton ki haqeeqat jaantay he hain.. hum tu inhen likhnay say he sharminda hain..

aap ka again shukriya k yahan ka again visit kiya aap ne.. n kuch lafz hamari poem k naam kar gayay...
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kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.

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«Reply #12 on: August 09, 2010, 02:03:59 PM »
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U r welcome Vb ji... aap bahut achcha likhte hain... yunhi likhte rahiye...!!!

Quote from: vb on August 09, 2010, 01:37:40 PM
klaskar jee! buhat shukrya ake baar phir aap ka..
sharmindagi tu honi he hay.. koi aur jaanay na jaanay.. hum tu in geeton ki haqeeqat jaantay he hain.. hum tu inhen likhnay say he sharminda hain..

aap ka again shukriya k yahan ka again visit kiya aap ne.. n kuch lafz hamari poem k naam kar gayay...
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«Reply #13 on: August 09, 2010, 04:04:52 PM »
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unknown user jee! buhat shukriya aap ka k parha aap ne poem ko.. taareef ki kuch zaroorat nahi...
aap ne buhat he khoobsurat poem likhi... n hum thankful hain k hamari poem ki nazar kar dee aap ne... buhat he achha likha hay aap ne... n achha kiya k share kiya...

hum isay jawab tu nahi kahen gay.. but kuch words likh rahay hain..

*---------------------------------------------*
Haan! Theek kaha tum ne larki
Hum deewaanay, hum saudai

Hain dard tumharay jeewan k
Ku aankh hamaari bhar aaee
Tum aisi sundar larki ko
Taqdeer ne ku di tanhaai
Ik aawaara deewaanay ko
Taqdeer kahan tak lay aaee
Phir pyaar ki aashaa jaagi hay
Phir khawab main goonji shehnaai
          Hum deewaanay, hum saudai

Tum aam sa khud ko kehti ho
Par aam nahi ho khaas ho tum
Ye jeewan khud ik aasha hay
Kis baat pay itni udaas ho tum
Jub tanhaai say ghabraao
Tu samjho hamaray paas ho tum
Is aawaara say shaair kay
Zinda rehnay ki aas ho tum
           Tum aam nai ho, khaas ho tum

Phir aaj tumhaaray aangan main
Ye Pyaar ki devi aaee hay
Jo barson pehlay bikhri thee
Phir jore k khud ko laai hay
Ye lout nahi aatee lakin
Phir jhalak tumhen dikhlai hay
Tum apnay mann say poochho kya
Is ki qismat, ruswaai hay?
            Phir Pyaar ki devi aaee hay

Ye theek hay tujh ko apnaana
vb k bus ki baat nahi
vb ki qismat main teri
in baanhon ki soghaat nahi
par ashk tumhaaray chun na saken
ab aisi bhe kuch baat nahi
ik pyaar ki shama jalnay do
hum din samjhen gay, raat nahi

so chhed sahi is jholi main
lo jholi hum ne phelaai
jo mumkin ho so day dena
woh preet ho ya ho tanhaai
Haan! Theek kaha tum ne larki
Hum deewaanay, hum saudai
*--------------------------------------------*

 
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kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.

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«Reply #14 on: August 11, 2010, 02:19:51 AM »
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Waah Vb ji Waah... ek aur behtareen peshkash aapki... bahut khoob...!!!

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