BEKHUDI

by drpandey on April 14, 2010, 08:24:00 PM
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drpandey
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                    GHAZAL
Din bekhudi mein hamne guzara yahan wahan !
Lekar tumhara naam pukara yahan wahan !

Khoja daro-diwaar pe shaya tumhara naam,
Sabne kiya mazaaq hamara yahan wahan !

Tahreer ho gaya tha zamane mein diwana,
Sadqe varaq ka hamne utara yahan wahan !

Poochha jo dillagi se usne hamara haal,
Hamne zakham dikha diya sara yahan wahan !

Itna karam kiya hai 'Adab' ishq ne mere,
Jugnu ko kar diya hai sitara yahan wahan !

Dr HP Pandey
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #1 on: April 14, 2010, 08:31:56 PM »
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Wah wah Pandey ji ,bahut khoob likha aapne thoda sa dard bhi aur romantic bhi hai.marvelous creation.bahut achi lagi.keep up the good work. Hats off to you! Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause icon_thumleft
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drpandey
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«Reply #2 on: April 14, 2010, 08:46:19 PM »
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Quote from: madhuwesh on April 14, 2010, 08:31:56 PM
Wah wah Pandey ji ,bahut khoob likha aapne thoda sa dard bhi aur romantic bhi hai.marvelous creation.bahut achi lagi.keep up the good work. Hats off to you! Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause icon_thumleft
Zarra nawazi ka bahut bahut Shukriya Madhu Ji..aapki inayat ka azehad mashkoor hun ki aapne ghazal pasand farmaya aur hausla afzai ki...
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Talat
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«Reply #3 on: April 14, 2010, 08:59:05 PM »
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Quote from: drpandey on April 14, 2010, 08:24:00 PM
                    GHAZAL
Din bekhudi mein hamne gujara kahan kahan !
Lekar tumhara naam pukara yahan wahan !

Dekha kiya diwaar pe shaya tumhara naam,
Haskar ibarat choom li paya jahan jahan !

Tahreer kar diya jo zamane ne diwana,
Sadqe varaq ka hamne utara yahan wahan !

Poochha jo muskurake usne hamara haal,
Hamne zakham dikha diya sara yahan wahan !

Itna karam kiya hai 'Adab' ishq ne mere,
Jugnu ko kar diya hai sitara yahan wahan !

Dr HP Pandey


Humesha ki tarah behad khoobsurat ghazal....Bohot bohot khoob Dr. Sahab...It's always a pleasure reading your work Sir....
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drpandey
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«Reply #4 on: April 14, 2010, 09:10:16 PM »
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Quote from: Celmira on April 14, 2010, 08:59:05 PM
Humesha ki tarah behad khoobsurat ghazal....Bohot bohot khoob Dr. Sahab...It's always a pleasure reading your work Sir....
Calmira Ji its my pleasure to see your appreciation in such a way, at this very point I feel shortage of words to express my gratitude.. I therefore, simply say Thanks a lot.. 
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Nafseeyati_Mareez
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«Reply #5 on: April 14, 2010, 09:22:26 PM »
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Quote from: drpandey on April 14, 2010, 08:24:00 PM
                   GHAZAL
Din bekhudi mein hamne gujara kahan kahan !
Lekar tumhara naam pukara yahan wahan !

Dekha kiya diwaar pe shaya tumhara naam,
Haskar ibarat choom li paya jahan jahan !

Tahreer kar diya jo zamane ne diwana,
Sadqe varaq ka hamne utara yahan wahan !

Poochha jo muskurake usne hamara haal,
Hamne zakham dikha diya sara yahan wahan !

Itna karam kiya hai 'Adab' ishq ne mere,
Jugnu ko kar diya hai sitara yahan wahan !

Dr HP Pandey

Dr. Saheb aapka kalam padhne ke baad kuch batein aapse kehna chahuga pehli yeh ke jin lafzo me Z ki zarurat ho waha Z use kare, main samajh sakta hu North India me pronunciation me J use kiya jata hai jaise aapne Guzara ko Gujara likha hai.......padhne walo ke liye aasani hogi.

Doosri cheeze yeh mehsoos ki maine ke urdu grammer ke hisab se kahi kahi misre bohat kamzor lage. Aur ek baat ke aapne har jagah apna radeef yahaa.N wahaa.N hi rakha hai bas matle ke pehle misre me aur doosre sher me ise aapne badal diya yeh baat bhi kalam ko aur kamzor banati hai.

Aapke ehsas bohat mazboot nazar aaye bas thodi si polishing kare phir dekhe......kya khoob nikhaar aata hai aapki shayri me.

Meri kahi batein agar aapki narazgi ka sabab bani ho to main mafi chahta hu.
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neelgold
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«Reply #6 on: April 15, 2010, 12:29:14 AM »
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Too Gud Ji.....
JSt Supreb!!!!!!!
 Applause
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bekarar
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«Reply #7 on: April 15, 2010, 04:06:30 AM »
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 Applause Applause
bahoot khoob dr. pandey....
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drpandey
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«Reply #8 on: April 15, 2010, 04:12:41 AM »
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Quote from: Nafseeyati_Mareez on April 14, 2010, 09:22:26 PM
Dr. Saheb aapka kalam padhne ke baad kuch batein aapse kehna chahuga pehli yeh ke jin lafzo me Z ki zarurat ho waha Z use kare, main samajh sakta hu North India me pronunciation me J use kiya jata hai jaise aapne Guzara ko Gujara likha hai.......padhne walo ke liye aasani hogi.

Doosri cheeze yeh mehsoos ki maine ke urdu grammer ke hisab se kahi kahi misre bohat kamzor lage. Aur ek baat ke aapne har jagah apna radeef yahaa.N wahaa.N hi rakha hai bas matle ke pehle misre me aur doosre sher me ise aapne badal diya yeh baat bhi kalam ko aur kamzor banati hai.

Aapke ehsas bohat mazboot nazar aaye bas thodi si polishing kare phir dekhe......kya khoob nikhaar aata hai aapki shayri me.

Meri kahi batein agar aapki narazgi ka sabab bani ho to main mafi chahta hu.
Bahot bahot shukriya aapka Nafseeyati_Mareez Sahab, main aapki batai har baat par poora gaur karunga. Mujhe umeed hai aap aise hi khamiyon par apni rai dete rahenge to mujhe aasani hogi. Janaab aap mere bhale ki baat karen aur main naraz ho jaun ye bhi aapne achha kaha. Ye meri khushnaseebi hai ki aapne itni achhi tarah se meri ghazal per inayat farmaya..aapka bahad shukrguzar rahunga.
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drpandey
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«Reply #9 on: April 15, 2010, 04:31:18 AM »
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Quote from: neelgold on April 15, 2010, 12:29:14 AM
Too Gud Ji.....
JSt Supreb!!!!!!!
 Applause
Inayat aur hausla afzai ka behad shukriya Neelgold Ji..
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drpandey
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«Reply #10 on: April 15, 2010, 04:33:17 AM »
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Quote from: bekarar on April 15, 2010, 04:06:30 AM
Applause Applause
bahoot khoob dr. pandey....
Bekarar Ji ghazal pasand farmaney aur himmat afzai ka behad Shukriya....
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Nafseeyati_Mareez
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«Reply #11 on: April 15, 2010, 06:32:29 AM »
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Quote from: drpandey on April 15, 2010, 04:12:41 AM
Bahot bahot shukriya aapka Nafseeyati_Mareez Sahab, main aapki batai har baat par poora gaur karunga. Mujhe umeed hai aap aise hi khamiyon par apni rai dete rahenge to mujhe aasani hogi. Janaab aap mere bhale ki baat karen aur main naraz ho jaun ye bhi aapne achha kaha. Ye meri khushnaseebi hai ki aapne itni achhi tarah se meri ghazal per inayat farmaya..aapka bahad shukrguzar rahunga.


Aapka jawab padhkar bohat khushi hui Dr. saheb aur usse bhi zyda khushi aapka PM padkar hui, aapne jo badlaav kiye hai usne Ghazal me char chand laga diye hai yeh baat aapko PM karke nahi keh paya qke abhi meri 30 post nahi hui hai aur main aapko PM nahi kar sakta. Allah aapki kalam ko aur taqat bakshe.....Aameen
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qadeer_junaid
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«Reply #12 on: April 15, 2010, 06:46:50 AM »
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wah bahoth qoob Dr.saheb , apki ghazal nazar nawaz howi ,, hazaro dad ba awaz a buland qubool karen .. apki har taherir se mai mutasir howa hon ..allah apko hamesha khush rakhe aur ap jaise sukhan war logon ki maujodgi bazm me banaye rakhe ..

Bus eak ilteja .. 2nd ashar me hum kafiya nahi hai ,, matle me bhi apne azadi nahi li agar le lete to thik raheta ..qair apne sher ke wazan ko barqarar rakhne ke sabab kiya ho ,, baher kaf bahed qoob padke acha laga ..dad hazir


khadim

qadeertoopchi
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riyaz106
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«Reply #13 on: April 15, 2010, 07:25:57 AM »
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Wah wah Pandey sb. bahot khoob kalaam hai aapka. Ek juda rang ki ye badi purkashish aur murassa takhleeq hai. Mubarakbaad.
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S.hashmi
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«Reply #14 on: April 15, 2010, 07:43:48 AM »
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  Applause
bahot khoob pandey ji
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