Mata pita ka aangan chhodkar- Shikha

by Shikha sanghvi on March 16, 2016, 12:40:18 PM
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Shikha sanghvi
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Aaj socha kuch naya likhte hai ..ek beti jab apne mata pita ka aangan chhodkar apne sasural jaati hai tab uski kya feelings hoti hai vahi likhne ki koshish kar rahe hai...

 

 

Mata pita ka aangan chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere liye asim pyar bhi hai.

 

Mere pyare khilone chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere sang kuch sapne bhi hai.

 

Mere mata pita ke ghar ko suna karke tera ghar sajane aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere ghar ko khushiyo se sajane ki khwaish bhi hai.

 

Mere parivar ko chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai bahot durd hai oe tere parivar ko apna banane ki khwaish bhi hai.

 

Mere parivar mai sabko chhodkar sirf tera hokar rahe jaungi aaj,

Mata pita ke aangan ko suna kar ke tere sang chal jaungi aaj.

 

Jis Bhai bahen ke saath bachapan bita unhe akele chhod chali aaungi aaj,

Sabke dil mai ye judai ke durd ko basakar chali aaungi aaj.

 

Behad pyar hai muje apne parivar ke sabhi sadsyo se,

Par sirf or sirf tere liye sabko chhodkar chali aaungi tere paas aaj.

 

Ek wada karle mujse ki kabhi bhi bhulkar bhi muje na bhula dena,

Varna is duniya ki bhid mai mai tutkar bikhar jaungi.

[/b][/color]

Shikha
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Rustum Rangila
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«Reply #1 on: March 16, 2016, 12:44:08 PM »
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Bahot achey, dheron daad waaaah hi waah
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #2 on: March 16, 2016, 12:45:44 PM »
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Thank you so much rustumjji
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sanchit
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«Reply #3 on: March 16, 2016, 01:08:23 PM »
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Bahut acche yun hi likhte rahiye... bas thode sa tarannum ko pakad ke rakhiye...
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sksaini4
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«Reply #4 on: March 16, 2016, 02:58:17 PM »
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heart touching
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Mirza Nazar
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«Reply #5 on: March 16, 2016, 04:07:23 PM »
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Very nice shikha ji....
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Maaya
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«Reply #6 on: March 16, 2016, 07:31:41 PM »
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Very impressive thoughts really its a nice poem about feelings of a girl
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surindarn
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«Reply #7 on: March 16, 2016, 09:02:07 PM »
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Quote from: Shikha sanghvi on March 16, 2016, 12:40:18 PM



Aaj socha kuch naya likhte hai ..ek beti jab apne mata pita ka aangan chhodkar apne sasural jaati hai tab uski kya feelings hoti hai vahi likhne ki koshish kar rahe hai...

 

 

Mata pita ka aangan chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere liye asim pyar bhi hai aaj

 

Mere pyare khilone chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere sang kuch sapne bhi hain aaj.

 

Mere mata pita ke ghar ko suna karke tera ghar sajane aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai kuch durd bhi hai or tere ghar ko khushiyo se sajane ki khwaish bhi hai aaj.

 

Mere parivar ko chhodkar aa rahi hu tere paas aaj,

Dil mai bahot durd hai oe tere parivar ko apna banane ki khwaish bhi hai aaj.

 

Mere parivar mai sabko chhodkar sirf tera hokar rahe jaungi aaj,

Mata pita ke aangan ko suna kar ke tere sang chal jaungi aaj.

 

Jis Bhai bahen ke saath bachapan bita unhe akele chhod chali aaungi aaj,

Sabke dil mai ye judai ke durd ko basakar chali aaungi aaj.

 

Behad pyar hai muje apne parivar ke sabhi sadsyo se,

Par sirf or sirf tere liye sabko chhodkar chali aaungi tere paas aaj.

 

Ek wada karle mujse ki kabhi bhi bhulkar bhi muje na bhula dena,

Varna is duniya ki bhid mai mai tutkar bikhar jaungi.
Dekh iss duniya ki bheerh mein main toot kar bikhar naa jaaun aaj.

[/b][/color]

Shikha
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Bahut bahut khoob Shikhaa Jee, bahut umdah ehsaas hai. Just start trying to rhyme the way I have tried without changes by merely adding the word aaj at the end marked read.
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«Reply #8 on: March 17, 2016, 05:05:16 AM »
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 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Bahut khoob shikha g...  Mai bhi aapko yahi kahne wala hun ke kafiye ko aor line ki length ko zahan me jaroor rakhe..  Varna poetry ki beauty kam ho jati hai... 

Otherwise you have portrayed  personifickly.... 
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #9 on: March 17, 2016, 01:53:19 PM »
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Quote from: sanchit on March 16, 2016, 01:08:23 PM
Bahut acche yun hi likhte rahiye... bas thode sa tarannum ko pakad ke rakhiye...

Thanks sanchitji...
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #10 on: March 17, 2016, 01:54:50 PM »
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Quote from: sksaini4 on March 16, 2016, 02:58:17 PM
heart touching

Thanks sainiji
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #11 on: March 17, 2016, 01:55:30 PM »
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Quote from: Mirza Nazar on March 16, 2016, 04:07:23 PM
Very nice shikha ji....

Thanks mirzaji
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #12 on: March 20, 2016, 08:17:21 AM »
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Quote from: sanchit on March 16, 2016, 01:08:23 PM
Bahut acche yun hi likhte rahiye... bas thode sa tarannum ko pakad ke rakhiye...

Thanks sanchitji
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Shikha sanghvi
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«Reply #13 on: March 20, 2016, 08:54:26 AM »
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Quote from: sksaini4 on March 16, 2016, 02:58:17 PM
heart touching

Thanks sainiji
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SURESH SANGWAN
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«Reply #14 on: March 21, 2016, 04:47:47 PM »
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 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
wwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah shikha ji
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