~Meri nazmon main shabd tamam uske the~ by Rahim

by dead heart on September 02, 2010, 07:16:57 PM
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dead heart
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Kabhi ek nazm parri ki humne jiski line kay akhri do lavz "uske they"..Aj inhi do lavzon kay saath kuch likh raha hoon..

Najane kya mood main, kya mehsoos karte hue kya likh gaya main..Bas kuch jazbaaton ko shayad dil ne lavz de diye hai..Khud hairan hoon aur soch raha hoon 'Rahim yeh kya likha hai tune??'


Likta toh main tha mager qadraadan uske they,
Meri nazmon main shabd tamam uske they..

Ankhein toh meri bheeg rahi thi,
Mager ashk tamam uske they..

Woh pyaasa phir raha tha duniya main,
Jabke samander tamam uske they..

Log kehte the raazon se bhara hai ‘Khamosh’,
Unhe kya pata kay yeh raaz tamam uske the..
Unhe kya pata kay yeh raaz tamam uske the..


~Rahim~
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«Reply #1 on: September 02, 2010, 07:21:33 PM »
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Agar Dil Se padha Jaaye To bahut gehre Jazbaat pesh kiye Hai Aapne Bhai Rahim,Khaas kar dusra Sher To lajawab hai

bahut bahut Khoob!!!Bas ek guzaarish Aapse abhi iss laye mein aur bhi kuch likha jaa sakta hai..bhai rahim Koshish Zaroor Kijiyega...

 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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«Reply #2 on: September 02, 2010, 07:30:18 PM »
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Rahim ...tumhare nazm padhke mera bhi dil kiya kuch kehne ka..batao kaisa hai...

tumne itni khunbsurti se apne feelings likhe hain k ab shabd nahin milte tareef ko..isly isehi continue kiya...

khwaish ji aapne jo kaha kisse aur bhi aage likha ja sakta hai to ek try maine bhi ki...just chk it...

bikhre bikhre se ehsaas yahan mere they
unhe sametke shabdon me pirone wale hath uske they

janmom se yunhi bhatak raha tha registan me
mujhe meri manzil tak pahonchane wale hath uske they

khoi padi thi soch samjh meri iss dikhawe k janjaal me
mujhe meri soch mere ehssas se milane wale jazbaat uske they

ab isse jyada kya kahun main ee doston uske liye
mujhe uss parwardigaar ki rah pe lane wale ehsaas uske they....
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dead heart
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«Reply #3 on: September 02, 2010, 07:46:35 PM »
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Quote from: khwaish on September 02, 2010, 07:21:33 PM
Agar Dil Se padha Jaaye To bahut gehre Jazbaat pesh kiye Hai Aapne Bhai Rahim,Khaas kar dusra Sher To lajawab hai

bahut bahut Khoob!!!Bas ek guzaarish Aapse abhi iss laye mein aur bhi kuch likha jaa sakta hai..bhai rahim Koshish Zaroor Kijiyega...

 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
Ek koshish zaroor karunga Dost..Kyun ki mujhe bhi lag raha tha kay agey likha jaa sakta hai mager lavz kam parr gaye..InshAllah!
Teh dil se shukriya mere Dost..!
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dead heart
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«Reply #4 on: September 02, 2010, 07:48:57 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on September 02, 2010, 07:30:18 PM
Rahim ...tumhare nazm padhke mera bhi dil kiya kuch kehne ka..batao kaisa hai...

tumne itni khunbsurti se apne feelings likhe hain k ab shabd nahin milte tareef ko..isly isehi continue kiya...

khwaish ji aapne jo kaha kisse aur bhi aage likha ja sakta hai to ek try maine bhi ki...just chk it...

bikhre bikhre se ehsaas yahan mere they
unhe sametke shabdon me pirone wale hath uske they

janmom se yunhi bhatak raha tha registan me
mujhe meri manzil tak pahonchane wale hath uske they

khoi padi thi soch samjh meri iss dikhawe k janjaal me
mujhe meri soch mere ehssas se milane wale jazbaat uske they

ab isse jyada kya kahun main ee doston uske liye
mujhe uss parwardigaar ki rah pe lane wale ehsaas uske they....
Shukriya di..!
Bahaut bahaut khoob likha hai apne..!  Bahaut khubsoorat lines hai yeh..!
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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neelgold
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«Reply #5 on: September 02, 2010, 07:49:55 PM »
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Rahim ............. Supreb likha hai dost ............ ek ek word ... bhut dino baad aap sab ke kalam pad rehi hoon ........ maza aah gaya yaar.. aab lagta hai main kya miss kar rehi thi ........

Bhut hi khoob likha hai .... & thnx yaar ......
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dead heart
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«Reply #6 on: September 02, 2010, 07:50:33 PM »
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Shukriya Dost..bahaut bahaut shukriya..!
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neelgold
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«Reply #7 on: September 02, 2010, 07:51:58 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on September 02, 2010, 07:30:18 PM
Rahim ...tumhare nazm padhke mera bhi dil kiya kuch kehne ka..batao kaisa hai...

tumne itni khunbsurti se apne feelings likhe hain k ab shabd nahin milte tareef ko..isly isehi continue kiya...

khwaish ji aapne jo kaha kisse aur bhi aage likha ja sakta hai to ek try maine bhi ki...just chk it...

bikhre bikhre se ehsaas yahan mere they
unhe sametke shabdon me pirone wale hath uske they

janmom se yunhi bhatak raha tha registan me
mujhe meri manzil tak pahonchane wale hath uske they

khoi padi thi soch samjh meri iss dikhawe k janjaal me
mujhe meri soch mere ehssas se milane wale jazbaat uske they

ab isse jyada kya kahun main ee doston uske liye
mujhe uss parwardigaar ki rah pe lane wale ehsaas uske they....

Kask Ji ............... App to kamal ho yaar ........... bhut khoob likha hai ............. Aur aap ka shukriya ada karna tha muze .......... Thnx a lot
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«Reply #8 on: September 02, 2010, 07:53:28 PM »
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Quote from: neelgold on September 02, 2010, 07:51:58 PM
Kask Ji ............... App to kamal ho yaar ........... bhut khoob likha hai ............. Aur aap ka shukriya ada karna tha muze .......... Thnx a lot

doston ko aisi baton k liye thnx nahin kehte sonu...
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #9 on: September 02, 2010, 07:58:48 PM »
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Janab Rahim Sahaab Aadaab!

Aapne jo kuch likha janaab Bahut khoob likha.... Pahele dono ahsaas O ashaar beintehaaN khoob kahe hai.... Dil ki gehrai se daad janaab...... Bahut umdaa.. Usual Smile

Likhate rahiye....
Khush rahiye......
Khuda Hafez.......          
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«Reply #10 on: September 02, 2010, 08:24:14 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on September 02, 2010, 07:30:18 PM
Rahim ...tumhare nazm padhke mera bhi dil kiya kuch kehne ka..batao kaisa hai...

tumne itni khunbsurti se apne feelings likhe hain k ab shabd nahin milte tareef ko..isly isehi continue kiya...

khwaish ji aapne jo kaha kisse aur bhi aage likha ja sakta hai to ek try maine bhi ki...just chk it...

bikhre bikhre se ehsaas yahan mere they
unhe sametke shabdon me pirone wale hath uske they

janmom se yunhi bhatak raha tha registan me
mujhe meri manzil tak pahonchane wale hath uske they

khoi padi thi soch samjh meri iss dikhawe k janjaal me
mujhe meri soch mere ehssas se milane wale jazbaat uske they

ab isse jyada kya kahun main ee doston uske liye
mujhe uss parwardigaar ki rah pe lane wale ehsaas uske they....

 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

Anuji..Shaandaar peshkash!!!

Aapke Kya Kehne!!!! humesha Ki Tarah Apni Chaap Chodd jaate ho...

Toooooooooooooo Goood!!!!!
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«Reply #11 on: September 02, 2010, 08:28:14 PM »
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Quote from: khwaish on September 02, 2010, 08:24:14 PM
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Anuji..Shaandaar peshkash!!!

Aapke Kya Kehne!!!! humesha Ki Tarah Apni Chaap Chodd jaate ho...

Toooooooooooooo Goood!!!!!

aapki taaliyon ki gunj mujhe bht der tak sunti rahi khwaish ji,,,,,,
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dead heart
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«Reply #12 on: September 03, 2010, 03:26:43 AM »
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Shukriya Parwaaz jee.!
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«Reply #13 on: September 03, 2010, 06:17:07 AM »
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bahut khoob likha hai aapne Rahim bhai... aur Kasak ji aapne bhi bahut khoobsurat shabdon me Rahim bhai ke poem ko aage badhaya hai...!!!
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«Reply #14 on: September 03, 2010, 06:53:00 PM »
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Shukriya Kapil Dost..!
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