Udaas ku ho? (by vb)

by vb on June 15, 2012, 07:47:08 AM
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«Reply #15 on: June 18, 2012, 06:35:24 AM »
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boht khub vb ji
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«Reply #16 on: June 18, 2012, 01:46:02 PM »
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bahut bahut khoob jawaab diya hai aapne bhi Kasak ji.....!!!

Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on June 18, 2012, 05:42:37 AM
VB ji....... hello hello hello Applause Applause Applause Applause


Ajeeb  uljhan me aaj  dil hai
Tumhe bhulakar udaas kyun hun
Tujhe na chahna ye zid thi meri
tujhe ganwakar udaas kyun hun

ajeeb tewar dekhe hain tere
bahot thokar  hai tune khaai
magar aaj jab tera sath  chhuta
main  yun bad hawaas kyun hun
Ajeeb  uljhan me  aaj  dil hai
Tumhe bhulakar udaas kyun hun
   

tujhe hi samjha tujhe hi jana
tujhe hi dil ne hai apna mana
yakin hai mujhko na ishq tumse
fir aaj main yun beaas kyun hun
Tujhe na chahna ye zid thi meri
tujhe ganwakar udaas kyun hun
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vb
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«Reply #17 on: June 19, 2012, 06:50:55 AM »
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Shukriya aap sub ka...

*Kasak*....Dil Ki jee !   buhat achh alikha aap ne... rawaani men... hopefully beher par aur zyada control haasil hota jaayay ga aap ko...
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«Reply #18 on: June 19, 2012, 07:11:04 AM »
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VB ji ye bhr hi to palle nahin padti mere... isiki wajah se sab loche hain
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #19 on: June 19, 2012, 05:05:51 PM »
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VB Jee Aadaab!

janab aik sawaal hai aapse kia aapki nazm bher meiN hai?
coz mujhe bher ka jyada ilm nahi hai... but in my point
of view aapki nazm to totaly out of bher hai... Huh?

gar maiN galat huN to mazzarrat chahuNga... par aapki aur
se bher par roshni mil jaaye toH hum jaise nousikhhiyoN ka
kaam ban jaaye... Usual Smile

Likhate rahiye... aate rahiye...
Shaad O aabaad rahiye...

khuda Hafez.. Usual Smile                   
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suman59
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«Reply #20 on: June 19, 2012, 05:07:53 PM »
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VB Jee and Kasak jee dono ne bahut accha likha hai  Applause
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vb
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«Reply #21 on: June 20, 2012, 12:00:40 PM »
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ParwaZ sahab ! tasleemaat-o-adaab-bil-jawaab ...

aap ne phir kis maslay ko chher diya, muddat huvi hum tafaa'il ki girdaanon say jaan chhura chukay hen. aap ko agar is men kahin koi beher nazar nahi aa rahi tu yaqeenan durust ho ga, albata hum chaahen gay apna muda'aa aap tak puhuncha diya jaayay jo kuchh aisay hay...

pehli baat k ye nazm hay, jis ki zameen hamaari apni he hay
beher is ki "behr-e-mutaqaarib, mucamman, maqbooz, aslam, muzaa'if" kehlaati hay.

hum ne is ko kisi beher men mukamal taur par tolnay ki koshish nahi ki.... k hamaaray likhay ka urdu adab say koi taaluk nahi, lekin parhnay walay agar chaahen tu isay is beher k meezan men tole saktay hen...

is beher say mutalik kuchh tafseel agar chaahen tu hum ne ye link dhoondaa hay aap k liyay...

http://sarwarraz.com/adabipage_en.php?id=351&pageid=7&title=Nikaat-e-SuKhan#5:

Iqbal ka ye sher hay jo is beher men hay

maiN zulmat-e-shab, men lay k nikloon,gaa apne dar-maan.dah kaarvaan ko
sharer-fishaan ho, gee aah meree, nafas nafas sho,lah-baar hogaa

hum ne wakfay ki jaga par comma daal diya hay, taakay is ka muccaman honay ka saboot wazeh ho

ab ye parhiyay jo hamari is nazm ka hisaa hay:

tumhaari yaadon, ka zeher dil men, utaar len gay, hamaara kya hay?
ye chaar din ka, udaas jeevan, guzaar len gay, hamaaraa kya hay?

iqbal k sher ko and them hamari above lines ko parh kar dekhiyay may be kuchh beher-o-vazan maalom ho...


and still agar ye beher say bahir hay, tu bhe hum ghalati tasleem kartay hen aur itna he kahen gay k faqat likhtay hen... urdu adab k arooz say naa-balad...


vb





 
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pankajwfs
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«Reply #22 on: June 20, 2012, 12:28:36 PM »
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Quote from: vb on June 15, 2012, 07:47:08 AM


Hamen bhula kar
Hamen rula kar
Maanind-e-tasveer-e-yaas ku ho?
Udaas ku ho?

Hamari duniya men ake tum thi
Tumhaari duniya thi saarhi duniya
Tumhaari duniya ki ik khushi ne
Ujaar di thi hamaari duniya

Tumhaari yaadon ka zeher dil men
Utaar len gay, hamaara kya hay?
Ye chaar din ka udaas jeevan
Guzaar len gay, hamaraa kya hay?

Hamen bhulaana tumhaari zid thi
Ab is tarah say bay-aas mat ho
Tumhen qasam hay hamary sar ki
Hamen bhula kar udaas mat ho

Hamen bhula kar
Hamen rula kar
Maanind-e-tasveer-e-yaas ku ho?

Udaas ku ho?
........................

Applause
Applause
Applause bahut behtrein peskash VB Ji....
Applause
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pankajwfs
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«Reply #23 on: June 20, 2012, 12:30:51 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on June 18, 2012, 05:42:37 AM
VB ji....... hello hello hello Applause Applause Applause Applause


Ajeeb  uljhan me aaj  dil hai
Tumhe bhulakar udaas kyun hun
Tujhe na chahna ye zid thi meri
tujhe ganwakar udaas kyun hun

ajeeb tewar dekhe hain tere
bahot thokar  hai tune khaai
magar aaj jab tera sath  chhuta
main  yun bad hawaas kyun hun
Ajeeb  uljhan me  aaj  dil hai
Tumhe bhulakar udaas kyun hun
   

tujhe hi samjha tujhe hi jana
tujhe hi dil ne hai apna mana
yakin hai mujhko na ishq tumse
fir aaj main yun beaas kyun hun
Tujhe na chahna ye zid thi meri
tujhe ganwakar udaas kyun hun


aap ne to Vb ji ki is peskash me char chaand laga diya Kasak ji Is baat par ek Rau qabool kariye .....
ApplauseApplauseApplauseApplause
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #24 on: June 20, 2012, 06:02:02 PM »
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VB Jee Aadaab!

Janab mazarrat chahta huN ke galti se galti ho gayi mujhse...
darasal maine galti se " Kasak " jee ke reply ko aapki nazm
samjh liya tha... tongue3

So maine yeH sawaal kar diyaa... hota hai kabhi kabhi aisa
bhi... Ummid hai aap is galti ko dil se nahi lagayeNge... aapki
nazm puri tarhaa se bher maiN hai... shukriyaa ke aapne itni apna-
hiyat se reply kiya... Usual Smile

Shaad O aabaad rahiye... likhate rahiye...
Aate rahiye...
Khuda Hafez... Usual Smile                 
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vb
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«Reply #25 on: June 21, 2012, 05:42:28 AM »
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ghalati tu hum say bhe huvi sahab.... yahan apni ghalti tasleem karni chahiyay thi... aur tafseel hamen aap ko PM karni chahiyay thi.... khair.. jo huva so huva..
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