best funny dialogue from bollywood movi.

Bahut khhoob!

'hmmm.....rehney vaaley shaher kei ho per akalmand deekhhthey ho...'

Amitabh: E lo kar lo baat. Are aisi angrezi ave hain ke I can leave angrez behind. I can talk english, I can walk english, I can laugh english, because english is a funny language. Bhairon becomes barren and barren becomes Bhairon because their minds are very narrow. In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the melbourne stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare, this is a very prestigious match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration must end in a run.

Movie: Om Shaanti Om
SRK

Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat, tum kya jaano Ramesh? Ishwar ka aashirwad hota hai, EK CHUTKI SINDOOR. Suhaagan ke sir ka taj hota hai, EK CHUTKI SINDOOR. Har auraat ka khwaab hota hai, EK CHUTKI SINDOOR

Ajj Apne PARAYE KA FARAK PATA CHAL GAYA!!

Dharmendra is up on top of the water tower threatening to commit suicide
and is very drunk.  Down below there are many villagers watching the drama
unfold, and this classic situation involves two of these fine gentlemen -
G1, and G2.

Dh: Gaon vaalon, mein vahi karoonga jo Heer ne Ranjha ke liye kiya tha,
    Romeo ne Juliet ke liye kiya tha - sosait, sosait, sossaait (suicide).
G1: Arre bhai, yeh sossaait kya hota hai?
G2: Arre bhai, jub ungrez marte hain, to usey sossaait kehte hain!!!!

Tiwari ji (a constable )in DABANG Band walon se...: jaldi se band bajao warna agar hamare sahab aa gaye to between two legs eisa bajeyege ki na bajne layak rahoge na bajane layak~

Mausi: Ghar main jawan beti pathar ki sil ki tarah hoti hai
Jai: Sach kaha mausi aapne bada bojh hai aap pe
Mausi: Lekin beta is bojh ko koi kuen main to fenk nahi deta. Bura nahi manna lekin itna to poochna hi padta hai ki ldka karta kya hai, ladke ka khandan kya hai, uske lachan kaise hai, kamata kitna hai
Jai: Kamane ka to yeh hai mausi ki ek baar biwi bachon ki zimmedaari sir pea a gayi to kamane bhi lagega
Mausi: To kya abhi kuch bhi nahi kamata.
Jai: Nahi nahi yeh maine kab kaha mausi. Kamata hai, lekin roz roz to aadmi jeet nahi sakta na, kabhi haar bhi jaata hai bechara
Mausi: Haar jaata hai??
Jai: Haan mausi kambakht jua cheez hi aisi hai ab main kya kahoon.
Mausi: Haiin to kya zuari hai?
Jai: Chi chi chi mausi who aur zuari na na na who to bahut hi acha aur nek ladka hai lekin ek baar sharab pee li na phir ache bure ka kahan hosh rehta hai. Haath pakad kar bitha liya kisi ne jua khelne ab isme bechare Veeru ka kya dosh hai
Mausi: Theek kehte ho beta Zuari who, Sharabi Woh, lekin usme uska koi dosh nahi.
Jai: Mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahi hai, Wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai. Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye Jue aur sharab ki aadat do din main choot jayegi.
Mausi: Are beta mujh budhiya ko samjha rahe ho, yeh sharab aur jue ki aadat kisi ki chooti hai aaj tak.
Jai: Mausi aap Veeru ko nahi janti vishwas kijiye who is tarah ka insaan nahi hai. Ek baar shaadi ho gayi to who us gaane wali ke ghar jaana band kar dega bas. Sharab apane aap chooth jayegi.
Mausi: Hai!!! Bas yehi ek kami reh gayi thi to kya kisi gane wali ke ghar bhi aana jaana hai.
Jai: To usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi gaana sun ne to Raja Maharaja aur unche unche khandan ke log jaate hai
Mausi: To beta ye bhi batate jao ki tumhare yeh gunwan dost kis khandan ke hai
Jai: Bas mausi khandan ka pata chalet hi hum aapko khabar de denge
Mausi: Ek baat ki daad doongi beta bhale 100 buraiyan ho tumhare dost main tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.
Jai: Ab kya karoon mausi mera to dil hi kuch aisa hai. To main yeh rishta pakka samjhun

tumhara naam kya hai basanti