dukha naal bhari sadi zindagi

by lovely_nancy on January 28, 2010, 10:27:43 PM
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lovely_nancy
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sorrie guys im just a beginer
so i request that please tell me
anything i could improve on
and suggestions on what could be added..

Dukha naal bhari reh gai sadi zindagi,
Mehr ta tere pyaar di c,
Hanjua ch eda dube ke bhari mehfil ch roh na hoeya,
Khushi milli ta khul k hass v na hoeya
Jee ta kita mar java par
Tainu hasda vekh mar v na hoeya

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S.hashmi
Guest
«Reply #1 on: January 29, 2010, 10:28:19 AM »
Lovely.....  a very good thought.

            Dukhan naal bhari reh gayi sadi zindagi
             Tere ek sajjna ve pyaar de sadqe

           Hanjuan ch evein dube ke phir tar vi na hoya
              Loki marde tanne ve hass-hass ke
   Mere ko taan sohniya hass vi na hoya te phir ro vi na hoya

              Tere bajon zindagi naa kise kamm di mehrama
    Tenu hasse-khedeyan ch vekh sajjna methon mar vi na hoya
     ****************** te phir jee vi na hoya*****************
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lovely_nancy
Guest
«Reply #2 on: January 29, 2010, 04:47:33 PM »
Lovely.....  a very good thought.

            Dukhan naal bhari reh gayi sadi zindagi
             Tere ek sajjna ve pyaar de sadqe

           Hanjuan ch evein dube ke phir tar vi na hoya
              Loki marde tanne ve hass-hass ke
   Mere ko taan sohniya hass vi na hoya te phir ro vi na hoya

              Tere bajon zindagi naa kise kamm di mehrama
    Tenu hasse-khedeyan ch vekh sajjna methon mar vi na hoya
     ****************** te phir jee vi na hoya*****************


thank you Usual Smile
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Rishi Agarwal
Guest
«Reply #3 on: January 31, 2010, 02:07:26 PM »
Nice Creation Nancy Ji
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