~ * Chaman * ~_DeV

by thinkhattk on September 03, 2010, 10:00:30 AM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shairi - E - Zindagi > Topic: ~ * Chaman * ~_DeV

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thinkhattk

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Ab chaman me koyal sab gumsum bethi he,

our ulluoo ke geet ki farmaish hoti he,

yaha bhadhii khauf ki bandish hone lagi he,

aur khud hawao ki bhi azmaaish hoti he......


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brokenbyluv

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Re: ~ * Chaman * ~_DeV

«Reply #1 on: September 03, 2010, 11:46:19 AM »

nice dev but last line rhyme nhi kar rahi second line mein farmaish hai tou last line kuch aesi honi chahiye....

aur ab khud hawao ki bhi azmaaish hoti hai..

Ab chaman me koyal sab gumsum bethi h,
our ulluoo ke geet ki farmaish hoti h,
yaha bhadhii khauf ki bandish hone lagi h,
aur khud hawao ki bhi azmaaish hoti hai..

Hope u understood..take care...


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Sajid_Ghayel

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Re: ~ * Chaman * ~_DeV

«Reply #2 on: September 03, 2010, 03:03:35 PM »

Nice thought Dev saheb........and very beautifully edited by BBL...


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ParwaaZ

Guest

Re: ~ * Chaman * ~_DeV

«Reply #3 on: September 03, 2010, 08:19:28 PM »

Dev Jee bahut achcha likha hai kafi tikha tikha sa laga hume...... per khayal behad sahiN lage... Daad janab..... And BBL jee aapne bahut achche se sahiN kiya hai Aapke liye bhi daad ........