Ek shaam andheri si.....ek nayi subah ki aas.....!!!

by Talat on August 25, 2008, 05:30:27 PM
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Shikha12
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«Reply #15 on: August 26, 2008, 06:05:36 AM »
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Quote from: Harash Mahajan on August 26, 2008, 05:55:48 AM

HaaN talat heek kaha tumne....bahoot hi purasar tehreereiN likhieN haiN aapne....Merii jjaanibb see iss  dil paziir tehreeriN par daad qubool farmayeiN....Harash

LeherroN maiN doobtii ek dardeelii awaaaw
Jaise doob raha ho samanDer maiN koi saaz

Woh konpleiN jo phootne se pehle toot gaieN
KahaN gaya unkii zindagii ka  woh aagaaz

Ab sab taraf Khouff ke andhere hain raahi
Raho tum KhizaaN ki zind maiN ya pehn lo taaz



Harash[/color]


Bahut achha likha hai Harash ji.. Applause
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harashmahajan
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«Reply #16 on: August 26, 2008, 07:56:09 AM »
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Sshukriyaa^h Maahiyaa.....
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diya786
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«Reply #17 on: August 26, 2008, 11:22:19 AM »
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bahut hi accha likha hai talat ji aapne
itne aasaan lafzon mein itne gehre jazbaat hain ki iske aage kuch likha hi nahin ja sakta
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
aapke likhi hui dono shayari lajawab hain..
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diya786
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«Reply #18 on: August 26, 2008, 11:24:42 AM »
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bahut accha sayyid sahab
aapne bhi bahut khoob likha hai Applause Applause Applause Applause
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #19 on: August 26, 2008, 12:03:06 PM »
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Celmira ji / Mahiya ji / Harsh Mahajan ji/ Sayyid ji wa adbee dosto!
'Zehn ko chain miley, aisee gazalgoyee huyee!
 Jaag uthney ko ho jaisey nigaah soyee huyee!!'
 Meyree khaasee puraanee gazal key do sheir yoon hai: mulaahizaa famaayen!
 'Hai khizaan: khaar hain gulaab sabhee;
  Tahaniyoun mein, magar, haraa kyaa hai?
  Tum naheen ho, to, jahannum hai sab!
  Zeest mein, ab,'abd', dharaa kyaa hai?'
 
                          - abd bundeli
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Shikha12
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«Reply #20 on: August 26, 2008, 12:06:53 PM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on August 26, 2008, 12:03:06 PM
Celmira ji / Mahiya ji / Harsh Mahajan/ Sayyid ji wa adbee dosto!
'Zehn ko chain miley, aisee gazalgoyee huyee!
 Jaag uthney ko ho jaisey nigaah soyee huyee!!'
 Meyree khaashee puraanee gazal key do sheir yoon hai: mulaahizaa famaayen!
 'Hai khizaan: khaar hain gulaab sabhee;
  Tahaniyoun mein, magar, haraa kyaa hai?
  Tum naheen ho, to, jahannum hai sab!
  Zeest mein, ab,'abd', dharaa kyaa hai?'
 
                          - abd bundeli

Waah... Bahut khoob Abd ji..
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syednaami
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«Reply #21 on: August 26, 2008, 02:01:30 PM »
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Celmira,
Bahut hi kamaal ke alfaaz hain, har lafz se chhalakti hai umeed ki aas to kahin maayusi ke dhalte rang.
Khoob dil ko bhaya. -

SN**
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #22 on: August 26, 2008, 06:40:04 PM »
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Quote from: honeyrose on August 26, 2008, 05:13:43 AM
Celmira sis Wah wah bohut hi khoob likha
hai dono hi kalam ek dam umda pesh
kiya hai aapne superb!! lines... g88 work... 
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Thumbs UP



Sayyid ji kamaal ka likha hai jawab bhi
khoobsurat se pesh kiya hai aapne g88 work..
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Thumbs UP


honeyrose ji bohot bohot shukriya himmat afzaai ke liye, sadaa khush rahiye....
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #23 on: August 26, 2008, 06:43:04 PM »
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Quote from: bekarar on August 26, 2008, 05:19:40 AM
bahoot dumdaar likha aapne randeri sahab....
zindagi kya hai koi samjhe agar,
sab badal jata hai gar badle nazar...
kam shabdon me adbhut sachchai..wah wah wah wah Applause Applause Applause

Bohot bohot meherbaani aap ki bekarar bhai, aap ke alfaaz se bohot himmat afzaai hui, khush rahiye aabaad rahiye....
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #24 on: August 26, 2008, 06:47:12 PM »
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Quote from: Mahiya on August 26, 2008, 06:03:28 AM
Waah... Bahut bahut khoob... Sayyid Randeri ji
Bahut umda likha hai aapne...  Applause

Ye aap ka husn-e-nazar he, warna bandaa kisi kabil nahi  mahiya ji...himmat afzaai ke liye mashkoor hun..
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #25 on: August 26, 2008, 06:50:18 PM »
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Quote from: diya786 on August 26, 2008, 11:24:42 AM
bahut accha sayyid sahab
aapne bhi bahut khoob likha hai Applause Applause Applause Applause

Meherbaani diya ji aap ki nawazish he, aap ne pasand farmaya bohot bohot shukriya...
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #26 on: August 26, 2008, 07:29:40 PM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on August 26, 2008, 12:03:06 PM
Celmira ji / Mahiya ji / Harsh Mahajan ji/ Sayyid ji wa adbee dosto!
'Zehn ko chain miley, aisee gazalgoyee huyee!
 Jaag uthney ko ho jaisey nigaah soyee huyee!!'
 Meyree khaashee puraanee gazal key do sheir yoon hai: mulaahizaa famaayen!
 'Hai khizaan: khaar hain gulaab sabhee;
  Tahaniyoun mein, magar, haraa kyaa hai?
  Tum naheen ho, to, jahannum hai sab!
  Zeest mein, ab,'abd', dharaa kyaa hai?'
 
                          - abd bundeli

Nawazish "abd" ji... zah-e-qismat jo aap ne pasand farmayaa... shukriyaa huzoor.

bohot umda "zeest mein ab 'abd' dharaa kyaa kai?" mukammal ghazal ki pyaas badhadi in do ash'ar ne. bohot khoob abd ji....
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #27 on: August 27, 2008, 04:03:35 AM »
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Sayyid Randeri ji,
Itnaa pyaar-o-dulaar deyngey aap, aur itni meethee baateyn kahaingey, to, mein, shukriyaa addaa karney key liye alfaaz kahaan sey laaoongaa, meyrey pyaarey dost!! Us gazal kaa matlaa mujhey aaj bhi yaad hai,jisey aapki khidmat mein peish kar rahaa hoon:
Aaj, mousam kaa mashwarah kyaa hai?
Zaahidee jaam hai: bharaa kyaa hai?

       Shukraguzaar  - abd bundeli





 
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Talat
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«Reply #28 on: August 27, 2008, 10:35:20 AM »
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Quote from: Pooja on August 25, 2008, 06:19:11 PM
Applause Applause Applause
wah kay abaat hai, bahoot khoob Celmira.... Good work!!! kabil-e-tareef!!!

Thanks Pooja...for appreciating the work... Thankyou !
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Talat
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«Reply #29 on: August 27, 2008, 10:36:57 AM »
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Quote from: Prateek Mardia on August 25, 2008, 07:08:37 PM
celmira ji,

aapka shabdo ka chayan-bahut prabhaavshaali raha yahan.niraashavaadi rudan ek aashaavadi geet ban gaya.....aapne behtareen likha he aur gehrai bhee bade saral tareeke se ujaagar hui.aapko badhai.

Prateek

Prateek Ji, aapne itni gehraayi se meri dono poems padhi aur apne vichaar yahan likhe, aabhari hoon aapki ki aapko pasand aayr...bohot bohot shukriya !
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