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neelgold
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I usually dont write dis kind of bt i relly dnt knoe totally diff mood today .. Hota hai kabhi kabhi ... aaj 2 post ki & both r .......  Hum dil jaan tum pe kurbaan kar chale
Hum khud apni maut ka saman le cahle
Socha tha mohbat karnge nahi kabhi
Hum khud hi apna dil nilam kaar chale
JIs mehfil main shama roshan ki thi kabhi
Ajj usmian Khud ko katlain- am kar chale
Gum nahi hai kyon duniya lut gaye meri
Hum khud hi apna dil viran kaar chale
Voh aah ke hamri gali main poochte hai yeh kis ka saman hai
Unne nahi pata hum khud hi apna janaza utha ke chale
Ah jana hamri kabar par gar do paal ki fursat ho tume
Kyonki AAj khud ko hi hum youn dafna kaa chale
**Neel** |
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~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
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Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #1 on: April 25, 2010, 09:39:32 PM » |
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Aag hai aapki kalam me bas thodi si taarifon k ghee ki kami thi mujhe aisa lagta hai ab. Dhu dhu karke aag lag raha hai har taraf. Aap k kalam ki aag kai dilo ko jala k raakh kar degi. Kitne ghayal honge iska hisaaab nahi. Yunhi aag lagate rahiye. Bahut khoob likha hai aapne. Aaj ka din sach me khaas hai. Sach me. Aapke lekhni ki khoobsurti nikhar k aayi hai aaj k din. Yunhi likhte rahiye. Kaash is waqt aap yahaan mere aaspaas hote. Aapke ungliyon ko to nahi chhu sakta aapke kalam ko jarur chum leta jo aapki ungliyon ko chhu k aayi hain...!!!
kuch alag likhne ki koshish me aapne humein shaant kar diya. itni khoobsurti se aapne likha hai ki kya kahein. itna dard hai aapki is kavita mein ki yahaan hamara dil bhi tadap raha hai dard se.
U are simply superb. A gem.
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #2 on: April 26, 2010, 06:18:16 AM » |
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I usually dont write dis kind of bt i relly dnt knoe totally diff mood today .. Hota hai kabhi kabhi ... aaj 2 post ki & both r ....... Hum dil jaan tum pe kurbaan kar chale
Hum khud apni maut ka saman le cahle
Socha tha mohbat karnge nahi kabhi
Hum khud hi apna dil nilam kaar chale
JIs mehfil main shama roshan ki thi kabhi
Ajj usmian Khud ko katlain- am kar chale
Gum nahi hai kyon duniya lut gaye meri
Hum khud hi apna dil viran kaar chale
Voh aah ke hamri gali main poochte hai yeh kis ka saman hai
Unne nahi pata hum khud hi apni Arthi aaj saja ke chale
Ah jana hamri kabar par gar do paal ki fursat ho tume
Kyonki AAj khud ko hi hum youn dafna kaa chale
**Neel** Ab aap ke jawaab mein main kya likhun Ye to suraj ko diya dikhane ki baat hai Aur tere taarif mein main kya likhun Kapil ne to bahut kuchh farma diya hai |
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #3 on: April 26, 2010, 10:23:57 AM » |
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Nice one Neel-di.....   Ye saara kissa he mood ka hai... theek kaha hota hai kabhi-kabhi....  Avchetan mann ki gehraayeion mai chhipe khayaal-vichaar kabhi-kabhi khud-b-khud oobhar aate hain.... wahi shabdo mai dhalne ko baichain ho uthte hain.... aur ho jaata hai kavita ka janm.... Khamosh nigahein keh rahi hain teri kahaani
Shayad itna to tu keh nahi pati apni jubaaniI usually dont write dis kind of bt i relly dnt knoe totally diff mood today .. Hota hai kabhi kabhi ... aaj 2 post ki & both r ....... Hum dil jaan tum pe kurbaan kar chale
Hum khud apni maut ka saman le cahle
Socha tha mohbat karnge nahi kabhi
Hum khud hi apna dil nilam kaar chale
JIs mehfil main shama roshan ki thi kabhi
Ajj usmian Khud ko katlain- am kar chale
Gum nahi hai kyon duniya lut gaye meri
Hum khud hi apna dil viran kaar chale
Voh aah ke hamri gali main poochte hai yeh kis ka saman hai
Unne nahi pata hum khud hi apni Arthi aaj saja ke chale
Ah jana hamri kabar par gar do paal ki fursat ho tume
Kyonki AAj khud ko hi hum youn dafna kaa chale
**Neel** |
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riyaz106
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«Reply #4 on: April 26, 2010, 11:04:14 AM » |
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This is a nice creation Neel ji. Lekin ye arthi wali baat kuch zyada disappoint karne wali hai. As a whole, well done.
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~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
Offline
Gender:
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #5 on: April 26, 2010, 03:12:10 PM » |
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bahut khoob Rajesh ji... aapka bhi jawaab nahi...!!! Ab aap ke jawaab mein main kya likhun
Ye to suraj ko diya dikhane ki baat hai
Aur tere taarif mein main kya likhun
Kapil ne to bahut kuchh farma diya hai
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~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
Offline
Gender:
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #6 on: April 26, 2010, 03:14:03 PM » |
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bahut khoobsurat aur gehri bat keh diya aapne Koyal ji...!!! |
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dead heart
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«Reply #7 on: April 26, 2010, 03:45:17 PM » |
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Bahaut acha likha hai.. Sach kaha hai kisi ne ke dard main kalam behtar likti hai... |
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drpandey
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«Reply #8 on: April 26, 2010, 08:00:29 PM » |
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Neel Ji bahot aah par waah mujhse to nahin kaha jata...magar aah se waah ke safar ka naam hi shayad zindgi hai..
Paani ki zarurat hai ek aag bujhane ko,
Jab aag hi nahin to paani bhi kya kare?
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neelgold
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«Reply #10 on: April 26, 2010, 11:29:36 PM » |
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Thnx RAjesh Ji
Lot of thnx ......
Ab aap ke jawaab mein main kya likhun
Ye to suraj ko diya dikhane ki baat hai
Aur tere taarif mein main kya likhun
Kapil ne to bahut kuchh farma diya hai
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neelgold
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«Reply #11 on: April 26, 2010, 11:32:12 PM » |
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Koyal Thnx a lot Dear!!!!!!!!!
Haar baat bol ke byaan ki nahi jati
Kabhi to tu bi kamosh darkan ki awaz sun
**Neel**
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neelgold
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«Reply #12 on: April 26, 2010, 11:35:51 PM » |
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Im SO sorry Riyaz .... i also felt ... i usully dnt write tht kinda of ... i shuldn't post this one .... galti ho gaye ...
I knoe it vs too much depressing ...
Actually i directly write here. I nver use any note pad or anything .. agar phele likh ke rekhti to kabhi post nhi karti vsnt in gud mood ho gaye post ...
sorry .....
This is a nice creation Neel ji. Lekin ye arthi wali baat kuch zyada disappoint karne wali hai. As a whole, well done.
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neelgold
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«Reply #13 on: April 26, 2010, 11:39:30 PM » |
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Thnx Rahim ...
Kalam to kalam hai iss se tu khnzar ka kaam na le
Kise aur kaha kaha yeh katal kaar aaye kisse pata....
**Neel**
Bahaut acha likha hai.. Sach kaha hai kisi ne ke dard main kalam behtar likti hai...
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neelgold
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«Reply #14 on: April 26, 2010, 11:57:16 PM » |
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Thnx for ur tym Pandey ji....
App bhut hi gehri aur schi batian kehte hai ..aur app ne teek kaha hai ..
Jindgi kya hai yeh kaha koi samaz paya hai
Ek hi paal main andera aur agle hi paal roshni ka sarmaya hai
Kitne gehre raaz chupa rakhe hai is ne
JO bi ismain dooba voh fir kaha ubhar* paya hai
*ubhar - means upper ana ( i think its punjbi word i m nt gud in words powr so plz bear wid me )
Neel Ji bahot aah par waah mujhse to nahin kaha jata...magar aah se waah ke safar ka naam hi shayad zindgi hai..
Paani ki zarurat hai ek aag bujhane ko,
Jab aag hi nahin to paani bhi kya kare?
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on eTI community..
