Nind khuli to...

by Pooja on May 23, 2008, 06:45:09 PM
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Pooja
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Ek ladki hai jo jab kisi se mili to uske liye uski sari dunia wahin thum gai thi..usne wo hi jiya, wo he kiya, jo uske premi ne kaha. Magar ajj jab wo usse juda ho gaya hai to use aise lag raha hai jaise wo ek lambi nind se uthi ho.. aor nind se uthne ke baad jo khayal uske man mai hai wo hi likhne ki koshish ki hai...

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya
Bichard kar tujhse laga ki main kho gai hu kahin
Aor kabhi laga  jaise barso ke baad khud ko hai paaya

Ruk gai thi jameen meri barso se, ruk gaya tha asmaan
Ajj khule asmaan ke tale, khud ko jameen per paaya
Badal gai kab kaise yah dunia, dekh kar hairan hai man
Khud ko to maine ajj bhi waise ka waisa he paaya

Sikh rahi hu, sikhna hai bahoot kuch ab tere bin
Khud ki zindagi ko, khud-b-khud badlta paaya
Dard hota hai bahoot, aor ankhon mai aa jaati hai barsaat
Jab bhi khayalo main us beete khwabo ko paaya

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya......
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Prateek Mardia
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«Reply #1 on: May 23, 2008, 07:10:42 PM »
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pooja ji-bahut accha likha he aapne.aapse aapki''continous kalam'
churaani he!
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Pooja
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«Reply #2 on: May 23, 2008, 07:25:10 PM »
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saalo saal chura kar bhi koi, ek pal bhi chura na saka
kalam ne kitna likha, per usko wapis la na saka

churata hai kon, yaha kis se kaya, pata bhi nahi chalta
chin kar bhi sab kuch mera, wo kyun na kuch bhi pa saka

ajeeb dunia hai aor Pooja ki samjh main atta nahi hai kuch
kyun mujhko qatra qatra marne wale ko, yah dil bhoola na saka
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deetri1
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«Reply #3 on: May 23, 2008, 10:42:23 PM »
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pooja ji...
bahut maheen jazbaat badi khoobsoorati se ubhare aapne..badhaiyan
ek bahut achchha sher yaad aa gaya...
khuli jo aankh to wo tha na wo zamana tha..
dahakti aag thi tanhai thi fasana tha...

mujhe jo mere lahoo mein dubo ke guzra hai
wo koi ghair nahi yaar ek puraana tha...
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Roja
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«Reply #4 on: May 24, 2008, 02:58:49 AM »
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Ruk gai thi jameen meri barso se, ruk gaya tha asmaan
Ajj khule asmaan ke tale, khud ko jameen per paaya
Badal gai kab kaise yah dunia, dekh kar hairan hai man
Khud ko to maine ajj bhi waise ka waisa he paaya

Sikh rahi hu, sikhna hai bahoot kuch ab tere bin
Khud ki zindagi ko, khud-b-khud badlta paaya
Dard hota hai bahoot, aor ankhon mai aa jaati hai barsaat
Jab bhi khayalo main us beete khwabo ko paaya

Ati sundar didi... very nicely expressed lines. Applause

thanks Roja!!!
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Pooja
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«Reply #5 on: May 27, 2008, 05:24:56 PM »
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Quote from: deetri1 on May 23, 2008, 10:42:23 PM
pooja ji...
bahut maheen jazbaat badi khoobsoorati se ubhare aapne..badhaiyan
ek bahut achchha sher yaad aa gaya...
khuli jo aankh to wo tha na wo zamana tha..
dahakti aag thi tanhai thi fasana tha...

mujhe jo mere lahoo mein dubo ke guzra hai
wo koi ghair nahi yaar ek puraana tha...

apki lines pard kar mujhe ek meri Fav. Gazal ki lines yaad aa gai:

Khanzar se karo baat, na talwaar se pucho
main qatal hua kaise, yah mere pyar se pucho..

shukaria apko meri likhi yah kavita pasand aai..
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khwahish
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«Reply #6 on: May 27, 2008, 05:35:56 PM »
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Quote from: Pooja on May 23, 2008, 06:45:09 PM
Ek ladki hai jo jab kisi se mili to uske liye uski sari dunia wahin thum gai thi..usne wo hi jiya, wo he kiya, jo uske premi ne kaha. Magar ajj jab wo usse juda ho gaya hai to use aise lag raha hai jaise wo ek lambi nind se uthi ho.. aor nind se uthne ke baad jo khayal uske man mai hai wo hi likhne ki koshish ki hai...

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya
Bichard kar tujhse laga ki main kho gai hu kahin
Aor kabhi laga  jaise barso ke baad khud ko hai paaya

Ruk gai thi jameen meri barso se, ruk gaya tha asmaan
Ajj khule asmaan ke tale, khud ko jameen per paaya
Badal gai kab kaise yah dunia, dekh kar hairan hai man
Khud ko to maine ajj bhi waise ka waisa he paaya

Sikh rahi hu, sikhna hai bahoot kuch ab tere bin
Khud ki zindagi ko, khud-b-khud badlta paaya
Dard hota hai bahoot, aor ankhon mai aa jaati hai barsaat
Jab bhi khayalo main us beete khwabo ko paaya

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya......

pooja aap ne bahut hi jazbaati kavita likhi hai..padh kar ek ajeeb si maayusi ka ehsaas hota hai par insaan ka kaam sirf chalte jaana hai..umeed karta hoon..woh ladki himmat aur saahas ke saath har mushkil ka saamna dat kar karegi...rab raakha
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Talat
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«Reply #7 on: May 27, 2008, 05:37:41 PM »
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Quote from: Pooja on May 23, 2008, 06:45:09 PM

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya
Bichard kar tujhse laga ki main kho gai hu kahin
Aor kabhi laga  jaise barso ke baad khud ko hai paaya

Ruk gai thi jameen meri barso se, ruk gaya tha asmaan
Ajj khule asmaan ke tale, khud ko jameen per paaya
Badal gai kab kaise yah dunia, dekh kar hairan hai man
Khud ko to maine ajj bhi waise ka waisa he paaya

Sikh rahi hu, sikhna hai bahoot kuch ab tere bin
Khud ki zindagi ko, khud-b-khud badlta paaya
Dard hota hai bahoot, aor ankhon mai aa jaati hai barsaat
Jab bhi khayalo main us beete khwabo ko paaya

Nind khuli to khud ko bahoot tanha paaya
Khwab main hi beet gaya ek yug, khud se juda paaya......

Bohot Khoob Pooja Applause

Quote from: Pooja
Khanzar se karo baat, na talwaar se pucho
main qatal hua kaise, yah mere pyar se pucho

Mere khyaal main ye sher aise hai:

main qatal hua kaise, yah mere yaar se pucho
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Pooja
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«Reply #8 on: May 27, 2008, 05:50:53 PM »
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Quote from: Celmira on May 27, 2008, 05:37:41 PM
Bohot Khoob Pooja Applause

Mere khyaal main ye sher aise hai:

main qatal hua kaise, yah mere yaar se pucho

 I know, wo kaya hai ki bachpan mai ek baar papa ke samne didi ko yaar bol gai thi, wo jor ka thappar parda... papa kahte hai ki ladkio ko yah shabd nahi bolna chahiye.. so jab bhi yah gazal gaati hu bas is shabd ki jagah pyar bolti hu wo hi likha gaya!! Thanks for corrections dear!!
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Talat
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«Reply #9 on: May 27, 2008, 05:52:55 PM »
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hahahah so sweet Usual Smile
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Pooja
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«Reply #10 on: May 27, 2008, 09:19:28 PM »
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Quote from: khwaish on May 27, 2008, 05:35:56 PM
pooja aap ne bahut hi jazbaati kavita likhi hai..padh kar ek ajeeb si maayusi ka ehsaas hota hai par insaan ka kaam sirf chalte jaana hai..umeed karta hoon..woh ladki himmat aur saahas ke saath har mushkil ka saamna dat kar karegi...rab raakha



bahoot bahoot shukaria khwaish ji!!!
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Sonia01
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«Reply #11 on: May 28, 2008, 01:43:25 PM »
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Quote from: Pooja on May 23, 2008, 07:25:10 PM
saalo saal chura kar bhi koi, ek pal bhi chura na saka
kalam ne kitna likha, per usko wapis la na saka

churata hai kon, yaha kis se kaya, pata bhi nahi chalta
chin kar bhi sab kuch mera, wo kyun na kuch bhi pa saka

ajeeb dunia hai aor Pooja ki samjh main atta nahi hai kuch
kyun mujhko qatra qatra marne wale ko, yah dil bhoola na saka

Wow Pooja didi bahut accha likha hai aapne. Waise mujhe aapke
sab kavita bahut accha lagta hai. simple and easy language...  Applause
(kaash mai bi likhti aap jaisa  tongue3 )
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Pooja
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«Reply #12 on: May 28, 2008, 02:56:05 PM »
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Sonia abhi apki hi ek kavita padi hai dard-e-shayri main, app bahoot acha likhati hai. Shukaria apko meri likhi kavita pasand aai!!
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Roja
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«Reply #13 on: May 28, 2008, 03:58:10 PM »
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Quote from: Pooja on May 27, 2008, 05:50:53 PM
I know, wo kaya hai ki bachpan mai ek baar papa ke samne didi ko yaar bol gai thi, wo jor ka thappar parda... papa kahte hai ki ladkio ko yah shabd nahi bolna chahiye.. so jab bhi yah gazal gaati hu bas is shabd ki jagah pyar bolti hu wo hi likha gaya!! Thanks for corrections dear!!

hahaha... Haan aisa hi mere ghar main b kehte they. But mere ghar main Amma gussa karti thi Yaar bolne se... tongue3 waisa mujhe sahi main bahut accha laga padkar.
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Pooja
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«Reply #14 on: May 28, 2008, 07:32:42 PM »
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thanks for sharing this with us here Roja. Maine yah likh diya tha , magar bahoot ajeeb sa lag raha tha.. ab kuch sakoon ayya!!
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