!!!!! Yeh Faasle !!!!!!

by neelgold on May 20, 2010, 09:16:48 PM
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4
ReplyPrint
Author  (Read 4327 times)
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #15 on: May 21, 2010, 10:23:53 PM »
Reply with quote
THanx a lot Mamta ji .....

Kya baat hai kya sahi farmaya aap ne ....
Nyc sharing .......

Quote from: mamta bajpai on May 21, 2010, 05:02:53 AM
NEEL JI BAHUT KHOOB!!!                

FASLE PAL ME SIMAT GAYE HOTE
GAR DIL MILA LETE YE HAATH MILANE WALE   NM
Logged
Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
FAASLE by Dilwala_jatt in Shayri for Dard -e- Judai
Faasle by sarafz in Shayri-E-Dard
Faasle by Neharika in English
faasle by sanya310 in Shayri-E-Dard
Faasle by drpandey in Ghazals
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #16 on: May 21, 2010, 10:25:14 PM »
Reply with quote
Thnx Suresh Ji .....
Appki taliyain dekh ke hum bhut khush ho gaye ....
Thnku ji .......

Quote from: SURESH SANGWAN on May 21, 2010, 06:02:01 AM
Neel ji bahut achhi peshkash hai. Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley sunny sunny
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #17 on: May 21, 2010, 10:26:25 PM »
Reply with quote
Thnx a lot Rajesh ji !!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from: Rajesh Harish on May 21, 2010, 05:05:17 AM
Bahut khoob Neel Ji
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #18 on: May 21, 2010, 10:27:46 PM »
Reply with quote
Khwaish ji thnxxxxxxxx.
Thnx 4 ur tym ,,,,,,,,,

Quote from: khwaish on May 21, 2010, 02:55:08 PM
Bahut Bahut Khoob Neelji Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #19 on: May 21, 2010, 10:29:10 PM »
Reply with quote
Thanx a lot Rahim...
Hausla afzai ka shukriya...

Its jst a try...

Quote from: -Rahim- on May 21, 2010, 10:12:53 PM
Bahaut bahaut sunder likha hai apne Neel jee... Applause
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #20 on: May 21, 2010, 10:33:35 PM »
Reply with quote
Thnx Nazar ji ..... I relly appreciate ur suggestion..
I vll definately look @ tht...
Meri na to hindi bhut achi hai NA urdu aati hai ..
Sab se main baat na likhna aata hai yaha saab ka padh ke toda bhut likhna shuru kiya hai .....I dnt knoe any gramatically /othr prob. bt apne jo bola vll b taken care...

its jst a try likhna to nhi aata ... haan muze zelne ka bhut shukriya.......

thnx 4 ur tym..........

Quote from: nazar ghouri on May 21, 2010, 10:22:47 PM
behadd umda peshkash hai,no doubt ..its a beautiful creation,and its a perfect ghazal from every aspects,there is no gramatical mistake n pronounsation of words every every thing is fit on its suitable place,and as i have been reading ur poetries i can say its ur one of the best work.xcellent.lekin thoda akhri shair main chook hogai,,i am not criticing u ,akhri shair main upar ki jo line hai it has lost its weight..kyun ke aap ne uss line main aapke doosre ashar main jitne words use kiye thhe usse ek do words ki izafe ki gunjaish thi lekin aap ne ek do words se badh kar words  istemal kiye hain ..bus iss pe thoda sa concentrate kijiega ,,aapki ghazal nayaab hojaegi..its jst friendly suggestion. take care
Logged
Adeeb.
Guest
«Reply #21 on: May 23, 2010, 09:52:14 AM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: nazar ghouri on May 21, 2010, 10:22:47 PM
Nazar ji ne jhooti tareefon ke pul baandh kar Neel ji ka hausla nahi badha rahe balki unko misguide kar rahe hain. Inki likhi is rachna ko Nazar ji har aspect se perfect ghazal qarar diya hai. Nazar ji ko shayad maloom nahi ke ek ghazal ke kya aspects aur terms hote hain. Agar ye ghazal perfect hai to bataayen ye kis beher mein likhi hui hai. Aakhri sher mein jo chook hui hai, unke mutabik wo ek do words badha kar door ho sakti thi jabki kisi sher ke misre words ki ginti kar ke nahi words ka wazan karke likhe jaate hain. Aakhri baat aur, agar koi rachna beher mein na ho to usko ghazal nahi kaha jaa sakta. Ye ghazal ki ek compulsory condition hai. Dil ke Jazbaat, ahsasat ko Neel ji ne bahot khubsurti se pesh kiya hai isme koi shak nahi lekin ghazal likhne mein unko ghazal seekhne ki zaroorat hogi. 

behadd umda peshkash hai,no doubt ..its a beautiful creation,and its a perfect ghazal from every aspects,there is no gramatical mistake n pronounsation of words every every thing is fit on its suitable place,and as i have been reading ur poetries i can say its ur one of the best work.xcellent.lekin thoda akhri shair main chook hogai,,i am not criticing u ,akhri shair main upar ki jo line hai it has lost its weight..kyun ke aap ne uss line main aapke doosre ashar main jitne words use kiye thhe usse ek do words ki izafe ki gunjaish thi lekin aap ne ek do words se badh kar words  istemal kiye hain ..bus iss pe thoda sa concentrate kijiega ,,aapki ghazal nayaab hojaegi..i was scaring 2 put suggesion coz i dnt knw either u mind or dnt mind ,i hav checkd ur profile but i hav not found ur e mail id there..its jst friendly suggestion. take care ..again i can say its perfect urdu shayeri..daad khobol kijiye..
Logged
~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
***

Rau: 115
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.

kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.

Posts: 16243
Member Since: Feb 2010


View Profile WWW
«Reply #22 on: May 23, 2010, 11:59:21 AM »
Reply with quote
Hi Neel ji,

Main shayad aapko kuch hadd tak jaanta hoon aur ye bhi samajh sakta hoon ki previous waala post padh ke aap ab Yo me likhna chhod doge. Aur aap yahi kahoge ki padh ke mood kharaab ho gaya. Par sach kahun to Adeeb ji ne aapki koi bhi buraai nahi ki hai . Wo Nazar ji se bol rahe hain. Wo unki aapas ki ladai hai. Adeeb ji aur Nazar ji aapas me apne ladai ladte rahenge.

Aap likhte raho . Aap bahut achcha likhte ho. Jaruri nahi ki likhne ki shaili hamesha Ghazal hi ho. Likhne ki kai tarha ki shaili hoti hai. Koi ghazal likhta hai, koi kuch aur koi koi bina kisi taal aur lay ke likhte hain par use padhne me bhi alag hi mazaa aata hai.

Feelings are importnat. Likhte rahiye. Aap bahut achcha likhte hain. Ye soch ke mat likhiye ki aap kya likh rahe hai. Keep up the good work.

Kapil
Logged
dead heart
Guest
«Reply #23 on: May 23, 2010, 12:53:54 PM »
Reply with quote
Bahaut sahi kaha Kapil Dost...Koi kaisa bhi likhe, as long as dil tak ponche, utna kafi hai..Main sirf aur sirf dard kam karne ke liye likta hoon...Mere pas Allah ke siva koi aisa nahin jisse sab keh sakou toh apni kalam ko moka deta hoon ke wohi kuch dil ka haal bata de...Main koi bahaut technically acha shayar nahin hoon mager phir bhi log kabhi kabhi wah wahi kar jate hai...Shayad isiliye kyun ki dil tak baat ponch jati hai...

Ap bahaut acha likte ho...Parrte waqt, technically kya sahi hai aur kya nahin, yeh main nahin dekta..hum toh jazbaat parrte hai, ehsaas parrte hai...akhir ek shayar likta bhi isiliye hai take parrne wala ehsaas samaj sake...

Finally itna kehna chahunga, ap technically correct likhe aur reader samaj na sake usse behtar hai ke ap technical chorrke aisa likhein jo reader samaj sake...Ap bahaut acha likte ho...LIKTE RAHIYEGA!
Logged
drpandey
Guest
«Reply #24 on: May 24, 2010, 07:24:36 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: neelgold on May 20, 2010, 09:16:48 PM
Tum se mil ke bhi kyun hum tum se na miley
kyun ab taak hai hum main yeh milon ke faasle

Shikayatein nahi hai ab zindagi se mujhe koi
Kyun fir bhi ab tak hai mujhe tum se kai Giley

Tanhayion ki chaadar odh ke so gaye hum tum
Kyun hum ne na tode aaj talak yeh silsile

Aahat bhi koi hoti hai to lagta hai ki tum ho
Kyun ab tak hai seene main yeh zalzale

Voh ek nazuk dor ka rista jode hai hume aj bhi
Par fir Kyun
Hum tum mil ke bhi aj talak nahi hai mile
Kyun hai abhi bhi milon ke yeh faasle

***Neel***


Bahut khoob Neel Ji  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #25 on: May 24, 2010, 10:05:24 PM »
Reply with quote
Thanx a lot Kapil & Rahim really tons of thnx .......
muze nahi pata tha yaha log itna techinically gramatically aur pata nahi kya kya dekhte hai ...... i alrdy left Yo weeks b4 bt sum of frndz bought me bak......... i nevr knew dis yaha is syt pe bi poltics hai...... i alwyz said in my each & evry post im nt a writer / poet & my hindi is also nt tht gud . urdu to ati bi nahi ... fir bi aap saab logon ko dekh ke kuch jo feelings aati hai try to write.. nothng else .....
i dnt understnd meri hi likhi hui chand lyns ka postmartm kyon kiya ?
Likhna itna hi gunah hai to vont write any mre & vnt cum 2 dis syt anymre

u guys jst enjoy ..........

Bt THnx Kapil & Rahim 4 ur vry vry kind words u guyz r so supportive ........Haar koi aise samne se support karne nahi aata so bhut shukriya...........
no hard feeling 4 any1 jst app saab khush rahiye bt muze aise negativity nahi chiye ... i alwyz try 2 make ppl happy , smile ...
i cnt absorb dese kinda of words so let thm enjoy wid thmslves perhaps im nt suitable 2 dis syt ..................

THanks evry1 ........enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& rember

Keep SMiling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Usual Smile Usual Smile Usual Smile Usual Smile happy3 happy3 happy3
Logged
neelgold
Guest
«Reply #26 on: May 24, 2010, 10:07:31 PM »
Reply with quote
THanx a lot Dr. Pandey.........
Muse lagta hai main is kabil nahi hoon aur shyd age se likhongi bi nahi bt fir b hausla afzai ka shukriya

Quote from: drpandey on May 24, 2010, 07:24:36 PM
Bahut khoob Neel Ji  Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
dead heart
Guest
«Reply #27 on: May 24, 2010, 10:35:51 PM »
Reply with quote
Neel Dost, Ager ap chali jayengi toh bahaut dukh hoga mujhe aur Kapil Dost ko bhi..Ap likte rahiye...Aksar aisa hota hai ke meri koi likhi hui kalam ko utna support aur tariff nahin milti jitni main umeed karta hoon mager iska yeh matlab nahin ke hum likhna chorr dein...

Meri teh dil se guzarish hai, ke ap na jaen...Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee na jaen...Plz!!!
Logged
cara
Guest
«Reply #28 on: May 25, 2010, 02:46:15 AM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: neelgold on May 24, 2010, 10:05:24 PM
Thanx a lot Kapil & Rahim really tons of thnx .......
muze nahi pata tha yaha log itna techinically gramatically aur pata nahi kya kya dekhte hai ...... i alrdy left Yo weeks b4 bt sum of frndz bought me bak......... i nevr knew dis yaha is syt pe bi poltics hai...... i alwyz said in my each & evry post im nt a writer / poet & my hindi is also nt tht gud . urdu to ati bi nahi ... fir bi aap saan logon ko dekh ke kuch jo feelings aati hai try to write.. nothng else .....
i dnt understnd meri hi likhi hui chand lyns ka postmartm kyon kiya ?
Likhna itna hi gunah hai to vont write any mre & vnt cum 2 dis syt anymre

u guys jst enjoy ..........

Bt THnx Kapil & Rahim 4 ur vry vry kind words u guyz r so supportive ........Haar koi aise samne se support karne nahi aata so bhut shukriya...........
no hard feeling 4 any1 jst app saab khush rahiye bt muze aise negativity nahi chiye ... i alwyz try 2 make ppl happy , smile ...
i cnt absorb dese kinda of words so let thm enjoy wid thmslves perhaps im nt suitable 2 dis syt ..................

THanks evry1 ........enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& rember

Keep SMiling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Usual Smile Usual Smile Usual Smile Usual Smile happy3 happy3 happy3
WAH BAHUT HI KHOOB     .    NEELGOLD JI.....

HAMNE KAB KAHA YE NAZM HAI-HAMNE KAB KAHA YE GHAZAL HAI
KYUN LARD RAHE HO AAPAS MEH KYUN BANA RAHE HO "YE FAASLE"
KUCH DIL KI BAATEN THI  KYA GUNHA KIYA JO HAMNE LIKH LIYE....


LIKHTE RAHO LIKHTE RAHO KABHI HAAR SWEEKAR NA KARO
KYA MALUM NAZM AUR GHAZAL KE ALAWA
TUM KUCH NAYA AAWISHKAR KARO...
Logged
madhuwesh
Guest
«Reply #29 on: May 25, 2010, 04:54:35 AM »
Reply with quote
Neel ji aap kisike mat suniye,aapke dil mein jo aaye likh.aap bahut khoobsurti se likhti hai.no one puts the food on your table.aur yo chod ke mat jana pliz,hum sab aapke saath hai.God bless you. love4 :love9:tke care
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4
ReplyPrint
Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shairi - E - Zindagi > Topic: !!!!! Yeh Faasle !!!!!!
Jump to:  

+ Quick Reply
With a Quick-Reply you can use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post, but much more conveniently.


Get Yoindia Updates in Email.

Enter your email address:

Ask any question to expert on eTI community..
User
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
December 25, 2024, 06:37:58 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Recent Replies
Shayri
by mkv
[December 22, 2024, 05:36:15 PM]
मोहब्बत लिखने की ,,,saah...
by saahill
[December 19, 2024, 08:27:42 AM]
तुम्हारे ख़्वाब ,,,,, sa...
by saahill
[December 17, 2024, 08:39:55 AM]
सुना था मोहब्बत ,,,, saa...
by saahill
[December 15, 2024, 06:04:49 AM]
साजिश नहीं ,,,, saahill
by saahill
[December 13, 2024, 06:54:09 AM]
zikar tumhara ,,,, saahil...
by saahill
[December 10, 2024, 08:23:12 AM]
khamosh ,,,, saahill
by saahill
[December 10, 2024, 08:22:15 AM]
Hyderabadi language
by Arif Uddin
[December 03, 2024, 07:06:48 PM]
parhezz ,,,, saahill
by saahill
[November 26, 2024, 08:47:05 AM]
mulaqaat nhi ho rahi,,,, ...
by saahill
[November 21, 2024, 09:01:29 AM]
Yoindia Shayariadab Copyright © MGCyber Group All Rights Reserved
Terms of Use| Privacy Policy Powered by PHP MySQL SMF© Simple Machines LLC
Page created in 0.159 seconds with 25 queries.
[x] Join now community of 8509 Real Poets and poetry admirer