Baarish..........................................Quateel

by Quateel Ahmad on May 10, 2012, 07:06:57 PM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shairi for Manzar -e- Kudrat > Topic: Baarish..........................................Quateel

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Quateel Ahmad

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Meri ummeedon par badal baras pade
Lekin baarish ne khwaahishon ko seencha bhi

Teri yaad phir nami ban ke chehre par hai
Maine gham ko dil ke bahar kheencha bhi

Ab ke baarish muhabbat se tar kar degi mujhko
Mujhe qaid mein milega dareecha bhi


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sbechain

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #1 on: May 10, 2012, 07:42:02 PM »

Quote from: Quateel Ahmad on May 10, 2012, 07:06:57 PM

ise moqammal ghazal ki shakal to do quateel sahab. aap to bahut khoob likhne waale ho to ye kyon adhura choar diya.main wah wah nahin karoo.n gi. pahle poori kari ise


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Quateel Ahmad

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #2 on: May 10, 2012, 08:06:38 PM »

Bahot Shukriya Sheba ji! .koshish rahegi ki ise poora karne ke baad pesh karun.


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sarfira

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #3 on: May 11, 2012, 03:33:46 AM »

Quote from: Quateel Ahmad on May 10, 2012, 07:06:57 PM

Yahaan ek adhuri nazm thi. Jise maine post kiya tha. Par ab kyun ki mujhe apni hi post delete karne ki ijaazat nahin hai main ye kar rahaa hoon.

aapne iss adhuri ghazal ko delete krke hume hurt kia hai--
aap ise yhi modify krke complete kar sakte the--iske lie aisa nhi krna tha ki ghazal ko ka subject hi change kr de--

sukriya


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sksaini4

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #4 on: May 11, 2012, 03:39:16 AM »

akhir kyon


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Quateel Ahmad

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #5 on: May 11, 2012, 05:54:21 AM »

Main maafi chahta hoon aap sab se. Aap ko hurt karne ka zaraa gumaan bhi hota to aisa nahin karta. Ab phir se modify kar dee hai. Rahi baat iske mukammal hone ki. Wo to yeh hai nahin. Ab tak nahin hui, Aur main shayad na kar sakun.


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dolly

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #6 on: May 12, 2012, 09:47:07 AM »

bahut khoob.. Applause


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Quateel Ahmad

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #7 on: May 12, 2012, 06:08:26 PM »

Shukriya Dollyji!


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masoom shahjada

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #8 on: May 13, 2012, 05:18:35 AM »

Waaah bhai jaan kya khoob likha h.
Eski har line damdaar h.
Wese aap thori si kosis karke ese pura kar sakte h.


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Quateel Ahmad

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Re: Baarish..........................................Quateel

«Reply #9 on: May 13, 2012, 03:47:16 PM »

Masoomji, bahot bahot shukriya pasand karne ka aur aapki hidayat bhi wohi hai jo Shebaji ne di. Koshish zaroor karunga ki isko mukammal kar ke pesh karun.


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Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shairi for Manzar -e- Kudrat > Topic: Baarish..........................................Quateel