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kaushikbhawna008
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Meri majburiyaan kya wo samajh nahi paaya kabhi
Ya usne kabhi mujhse mohobbat na ki thi
Mere har dard se nikli aah ne pukara tha use
Kya usne meri aawaj suni na thi
Gar wo maiyat pe meri aate to ye ranz na hota
Kya unhe meri kami mehsus hui na thi
Chalo chodo shayd ye ek tarfa hi pyaar tha
Kitni karein shikayat ki unhe meri jarurat hi na thi
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #2 on: October 27, 2008, 09:25:45 AM » |
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thnk u sajid ji
baat itni si gar ham samajh paate
to apne dil ko pal pal na tarpate
kaisa hai dastur GHAYEL mohobbat ka
jinhe chahte hain aksar unhe nahi ham paate
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #3 on: October 27, 2008, 09:37:57 AM » |
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Pa kar khona phir kho kar pana
Yeh jeevan hain sun BHAVNA
Kabhi main tumse shikwa karu kabhi tum karo mujse shikayat
Yu akayle rehkar khud ko bhi humko bhi yu satao na
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Daredevil
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«Reply #5 on: October 27, 2008, 10:52:14 AM » |
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Jo kah na sake wo fasaana yaad aata hai...,
Guzra hua dilkash jamaana yaad aata hai...;
Jab hushn se ishq takraaya tha kabhi...,
Ghaayal hua tha ek parwaana yaad aata hai..!!!
NM
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #6 on: October 27, 2008, 11:36:19 AM » |
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Bahut achcha likha aap ne Bhawna Ji
Aap ka bhi kya kahna Ghayel Ji
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Pooja
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«Reply #7 on: October 28, 2008, 04:11:41 AM » |
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Meri majburiyaan kya wo samajh nahi paaya kabhi
Ya usne kabhi mujhse mohobbat na ki thi
Mere har dard se nikli aah ne pukara tha use
Kya usne meri aawaj suni na thi
Gar wo maiyat pe meri aate to ye ranz na hota
Kya unhe meri kami mehsus hui na thi
Chalo chodo shayd ye ek tarfa hi pyaar tha
Kitni karein shikayat ki unhe meri jarurat hi na thi
 wah wah wah!! ek ek line kaya kamal ki likhi hai bhawna... last line mai sara nichorr aa gaya...bahoot khoob,. dil ko chu gai apki yah kavita....bahoot he achi rachna likhi hai apne.... Good job!! |
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #8 on: October 29, 2008, 05:24:16 AM » |
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bohut bohut shukriya puja ji wah wah wah!! ek ek line kaya kamal ki likhi hai bhawna... last line mai sara nichorr aa gaya...bahoot khoob,. dil ko chu gai apki yah kavita....bahoot he achi rachna likhi hai apne.... Good job!! |
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #9 on: October 29, 2008, 05:27:16 AM » |
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shukriya rajesh ji
bohut bohut shukriya honey ji :notworty:
shukriya rishi ji
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #10 on: October 29, 2008, 05:30:03 AM » |
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Pa kar khona phir kho kar pana
Yeh jeevan hain sun BHAVNA
Kabhi main tumse shikwa karu kabhi tum karo mujse shikayat
Yu akayle rehkar khud ko bhi humko bhi yu satao na
shukriya sajid ji sab kuch apna khoya hai sajid meine
ab aur kya paane ko reh gaya ab
chalta hai jeevan gar is tarah to
ab bas aur nahi mujhe ab jeena hai |
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #11 on: October 29, 2008, 07:50:45 AM » |
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shukriya sajid ji
sab kuch apna khoya hai sajid meine
ab aur kya paane ko reh gaya ab
chalta hai jeevan gar is tarah to
ab bas aur nahi mujhe ab jeena hai
Tune khoya hain apna sabkuch
Humne sabkuch kho ke teri dosti payee bhavna
Zindagi me gum tere bhi mere bhi
Mai apne zakhm dikhaoo tumhe, tum apna dard batao na
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #12 on: October 29, 2008, 08:13:59 AM » |
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dard bhi bohut kiya hai bayaan sajid
par apne ko har-tarfa tanha hi paaya hai
jab bhi chaha koi thaame mujhe de haath apna
apna zakhm aur gehra hota paaya hai
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Rajbir
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«Reply #13 on: October 29, 2008, 08:19:57 AM » |
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Bhawna and Sajid Good going both of you Keep going  |
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on eTI community..
