Janab Zidd sahab adaab. Aapne Mamta ji ki is takhleeq ki islaah karne ki achhi koshish ki hai magar kai misre ab bhi beher se kharij hain. Misaal ke taur par ek misra dekhen:
teri furqaton hi me kaT gayi meri taawe.l_umr ae humnashi
(Lafz taweel(lambi) to maloom hai lekin taawe.l maloom nahi. Shayad aapne taawe.l ke LAAM ka umr ke AIN se wasl kiya hai jo jayaz nahi hai. )
Is misre ki ek mumkina surat ye ho sakti hai:-
Mere hamnashi meri umr ye teri furqaton hi me kat gai
Ye ek mushkil beher zaroor hai lekin rare nahi, bahot se shayr istemaal karte aaye hain. Bashir Badr sahab ka ye sher yaad aa gaya:
Koi haath bhi na milaayega, jo galey miloge tapaak se
Ye naye mizaaj ka shahr hai, zara faslon se mila karo
Sama kharaashi ke liye aur bura laga ho to uske liye aapse aur Mamta ji se mazratkhwah hun.
adeeb sahab....aadaaab...
bus zara sa baat alag dhang se kahunga ki maine koi kisi ki bhi islaah karne ki koshish nahi ki...sach poocho to maine mere liye kiya ....
magar ek baat samjh nahi aayi sahab...aap jise najayaz kah rahe hai ,uski to hazaaro misaal hai..?
jaise
tang aa = taN.g_aa==tang aa gaye hai kashmakashe ( sahil lud.)
sanam akhir = sa na ma._aa khir==sanam aakhir khuda nahi hota( momin)
akhir is = aa khi r_is =akhir is dard ki dawa (ghalib)
aur to aur
ye dekhiye ghalib sahab ne kaise nibhaya hai meter
agar aur = a / ga / r_au / r !!!!!!!
'agar' me 'gar' ke ek single takte ko hi ToD diya !!!
phir...taa / we / l_um / r...kyu nahi ho sakta? aise kyu nahi TooT sakta akhir?
mere khayaal me mamta sahibaa ne waha sahi todaa hai.
aapse request hai ki aap zarur roshni daale ...
aur bhi kahi meter par aitraaz ho agar to sahab us misre ko saamne laaiye...jaisa aapne ishara kiya hai ki kai jagah hai aib
akhir kuch seekhne hi ke liye aapke darbaar me hazir huye hai..
aapka bahut bahut dhanywaad jo aapne mere liye mehnat ki...
itna bhi kaun karta hai aaj kal...
aapka teh e dil se shukriya aur request ki jaha itna waqt de diya aapne is baat ko ab mujhe poori tarah samjha dijiye..