man tadpta hai......

by mauj on December 27, 2014, 12:42:03 PM
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mauj
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man tadpta hai tere pyar k liye ......
nazar tarastii hai tere didar k liye..
na jajane kab honge chilman pare
har  roz marr ta koi tere ikrar liye.. tearyeyed tearyeyed
meri rooh main bas gye ho saanse ban k
kashmkash chalta hai ik ik saans kliye
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jeet jainam
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«Reply #1 on: December 27, 2014, 06:20:52 PM »
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Bohat khub
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surindarn
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«Reply #2 on: December 27, 2014, 09:05:17 PM »
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Quote from: mauj on December 27, 2014, 12:42:03 PM
man tadpta hai tere pyar ke liye ......
nazar tarastii hai tere didar ke liye..
na jaane kab honge chilman pare
har  roz marrta hai koi tere ikrar ke liye.. tearyeyed tearyeyed
meri rooh main bas gaaye ho saanse ban ke
kashmkash chalta hai ik ik saans ke liye
bahut umdah ehsaas hai Mauj Jee, dhehron daaaaaaD. icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower

Please read your poem, I have suggested some changes, see if you like them.
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«Reply #3 on: December 28, 2014, 03:18:24 AM »
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 Applause Applause
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sanchit
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«Reply #4 on: December 28, 2014, 11:01:48 AM »
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Waah...
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mann.mann
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«Reply #5 on: December 29, 2014, 08:29:05 AM »
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 Applause Applause
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mauj
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«Reply #6 on: December 29, 2014, 06:00:59 PM »
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tnx a loooooot everyone...its like a reward for me ..as i know im nt dat good...
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mauj
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«Reply #7 on: December 29, 2014, 06:02:12 PM »
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Quote from: surindarn on December 27, 2014, 09:05:17 PM
bahut umdah ehsaas hai Mauj Jee, dhehron daaaaaaD. icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower

Please read your poem, I have suggested some changes, see if you like them.
its my pleasure
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