°°°° एक निवेदन [Ek Nivedan] °°°°

by Zaif on September 30, 2013, 12:43:23 AM
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Zaif
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(बह्र के जानकर मित्रों से विन्रम निवेदन है, बतायें क्या ये क़ता "बह्र" के हिसाब से ठीक बना है?)

(बह्र -
2221 2221 2222)

उन होंठों ने कह दीं आज प्यारी बातें|
दिल में लाके रख ली हमने सारी बातें|
अब तो नज़र में है बस तुम्हारी सूरत,
किस किस से न हमने कीं तुम्हारी बातें?

- ज़ैफ़
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Dineshkumarjonty
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«Reply #1 on: September 30, 2013, 12:57:27 AM »
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Jung jitne ke baad bhi sawal humare pa as hai har baat ka jawab yes
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mkv
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«Reply #2 on: September 30, 2013, 01:01:10 AM »
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Bahut badhiya
aapne poocha hai isliye haa/na me javaab dunga..NO

Par aap seekhne chaahte hai isliye mubarakbaad bhi dunga. kyonki Jahan chaah vahan raah.
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Dineshkumarjonty
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«Reply #3 on: September 30, 2013, 01:08:04 AM »
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Koi chheez jiske liye bani ho use mil hi jaati hai


Tention lene ka nahi
tention dene kà nahi

It's my final answar
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Advo.RavinderaRavi
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«Reply #4 on: September 30, 2013, 01:31:54 AM »
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Jo hai theek hai.
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nandbahu
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«Reply #5 on: September 30, 2013, 09:31:32 AM »
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very nice
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sksaini4
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«Reply #6 on: September 30, 2013, 12:09:04 PM »
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teesree line naheen  par mujhe itnee hee knwoledge hai
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Sudhir Ashq
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«Reply #7 on: September 30, 2013, 01:21:41 PM »
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 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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khujli
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«Reply #8 on: September 30, 2013, 01:28:52 PM »
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Quote from: Zaif on September 30, 2013, 12:43:23 AM
(बह्र के जानकर मित्रों से विन्रम निवेदन है, बतायें क्या ये क़ता "बह्र" के हिसाब से ठीक बना है?)

(बह्र -
2221 2221 2222)

उन होंठों ने कह दीं आज प्यारी बातें|
दिल में लाके रख ली हमने सारी बातें|
अब तो नज़र में है बस तुम्हारी सूरत,
किस किस से न हमने कीं तुम्हारी बातें?

- ज़ैफ़


boss!!!!!!! bahr kee baat bahrwale jaane humm toh asar kee baat jaante hain aur kya lkha hai aapne
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower
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Bishwajeet Anand Bsu
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«Reply #9 on: September 30, 2013, 02:59:59 PM »
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waah waah ...... Applause
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marhoom bahayaat
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«Reply #10 on: September 30, 2013, 03:41:43 PM »
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Quote from: Zaif on September 30, 2013, 12:43:23 AM
(बह्र के जानकर मित्रों से विन्रम निवेदन है, बतायें क्या ये क़ता "बह्र" के हिसाब से ठीक बना है?)

(बह्र -
2221 2221 2222)

उन होंठों ने कह दीं आज प्यारी बातें|
दिल में लाके रख ली हमने सारी बातें|
अब तो नज़र में है बस तुम्हारी सूरत,
किस किस से न हमने कीं तुम्हारी बातें?

- ज़ैफ़


nice qata,sir
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Zaif
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«Reply #11 on: September 30, 2013, 08:29:37 PM »
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Thanks u vry much, dear buddies!! Usual Smile
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aqsh
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«Reply #12 on: September 30, 2013, 08:34:45 PM »
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Bahut khoooooob likhe ho.. dheron daad.. behr toh gunijan bata denge.. mai khud abhi beginner hoon..best of luck....
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