Do jism ek jaan...

by brokenbyluv on September 09, 2010, 08:10:15 PM
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brokenbyluv
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Do jism ek jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum,

kabhi tumhare tou kabhi merre hotho se nikla,
mhbt ka paigham ban gye hai hum,

pehle katrate the ek duje k saamne aane se,
ab tou humsafar sar-e-aam ban gye hai hum,

dhalti ubharti muskurati dil lubhati,
bepanah ishq ki aesi shaam ban gye hai hum,

jo ehsas hamein jode rakhta hai har ghadi,
usi ehsas ka haseen sa naam ban gye hai hum,

yu tou sukoon nhi rehta pal bhar ko bhi,
kuch is kadar nigaho ka araam ban gye hai hum,

Do jism ek jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum.........
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 06:05:49 PM »
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BBL jee Aadaab!

kia khubsurat ahsaasoN ko umdaa lafzoN meiN piroyaa hai aapne Daad jee ..... Bahut khoob....         

Quote from: brokenbyluv on September 09, 2010, 08:10:15 PM
Do jism ek [clor=blue]jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum,

BBL jee aapka sher bahot khoob hai Daad .... YahaaN hum aapko aik baat kahna chaheNge... Humne jo blue kiya hai woh same rhyme with same tune words hai.. per aapne pahele misre meiN "Jaan" Dusre meiN "Anjaam" Aap khud abhi tune kijiye ke jaaN ki bajaaye jaam rakheN to anjaam and jaam perfect thyming tune hoNga... Ummid hai aap humari baat samjheN hoNge:)         


kabhi tumhare tou kabhi merre hotho se nikla,
mhbt ka paigham ban gye hai hum,

Bahut khoob behad masoom sa sher raha hai yeH... Daad         


pehle katrate the ek duje k saamne aane se,
ab tou humsafar sar-e-aam ban gye hai hum,

Waah jee kia baat hai Daad         


dhalti ubharti muskurati dil lubhati,
bepanah ishq ki aesi shaam ban gye hai hum,

Bahut khoob .... Ahsaas O khayaal umdaa raha Daad         


jo ehsas hamein jode rakhta hai har ghadi,
usi ehsas ka haseen sa naam ban gye hai hum,

Achcha hai.... Aur better hone ki guNjaish hai.... Daad         


yu tou sukoon nhi rehta pal bhar ko bhi,
kuch is kadar nigaho ka araam ban gye hai hum,

Achcha hai Daad...           


Do jism ek jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum.........



[/color]

BBL jee aapki koshish achchi lagi hume dil se daad kabool kijiye.....
Likhate rahiye.......
Khush rahiye.....
Khuda Hafez....... Usual Smile         
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #2 on: September 10, 2010, 07:16:57 PM »
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Bahut bahut shukriya parwaaz ji,hamesha ki tarah tabdiliyo k liye bhi dhanyawaaad per merri kavita ka shirshak hai do jism ek jaan,main agar jaan ki jagah jaam rakhti tou kuch atpata lagta umeed hai aap smjh rahe honge..aksar kavitao mein pehle nhi har sher ki akhri lines ka rhyme karna zaruri hota hai usse flow bana rehta hai...jaise merri kavita mein aap dekh sakte hai,anjaam,paigham,sar-e-aam,shaam,naam,araam..umeed karungi ki aap merri baat samjh gye honge..merri kavitaye,ghazal,sher,nazm sab main hamesha alag tarike se aur naye alfazo se likhne ki koshish karti hu taaki padhne walo ko acha lage..har baar ki tarah ye bhi merri ek chhoti si koshish hai apne alfazo k zariye sabhi members k dil tak pahunchane ki...shukriya ji.......... happy9
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_Vicky_
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«Reply #3 on: September 11, 2010, 01:04:16 PM »
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Geet ji Aapki Qalam Humesha Hi Kamaal Karti Hai.. Aur Is baar Bhi aisa hi Hua hai.. Bahut hi Pyaar Bhare Ehasaason Ko Lafzon me Piroya Hai Aapne.. Mohabbat Bhare Yeh aflaaz Dil Ko Chhoo Gaye.. Applause Applause

Daad Kubool karen Dil se..  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley



**~** Mann **~**
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #4 on: September 12, 2010, 04:40:20 PM »
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Bahut khoob Geet Ji
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #5 on: September 12, 2010, 06:17:11 PM »
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Bahut bahut shukriya mann ji,shihab ji aur rajesh ji........
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«Reply #6 on: September 12, 2010, 07:17:09 PM »
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Geet ji agar koi poochhe ki is kavita me aisa kya hai ki ise baar baar padhne ka mann karta hai to main bas ek baat kahunga... "PYAAR"... aur bahut saara pyaar... yahi iski khoobsurti hai...!!!

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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«Reply #7 on: September 12, 2010, 07:23:36 PM »
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mastam mast poem geet..superbbbbb

tere hothon se nikle madhur geet ban gaye hain hum
ab to tere saanson ka sangeet ban gaye hain hum

jo na padh payega ye zamana kabhi kisi surat me
wohi pani pe likhi koi tehreer ban gaye hain hum
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #8 on: September 12, 2010, 07:33:17 PM »
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Quote from: klaskar on September 12, 2010, 07:17:09 PM
Geet ji agar koi poochhe ki is kavita me aisa kya hai ki ise baar baar padhne ka mann karta hai to main bas ek baat kahunga... "PYAAR"... aur bahut saara pyaar... yahi iski khoobsurti hai...!!!

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

So sweet kapil ji bahut bahut shurkiya ji..
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #9 on: September 12, 2010, 07:37:13 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on September 12, 2010, 07:23:36 PM
mastam mast poem geet..superbbbbb

tere hothon se nikle madhur geet ban gaye hain hum
ab to tere saanson ka sangeet ban gaye hain hum

jo na padh payega ye zamana kabhi kisi surat me
wohi pani pe likhi koi tehreer ban gaye hain hum

Shukriya kasak ji...aur khoob lines likhi hai apne...
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«Reply #10 on: September 12, 2010, 07:40:30 PM »
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u are always welcome Geet ji...!!!

Quote from: brokenbyluv on September 12, 2010, 07:33:17 PM
So sweet kapil ji bahut bahut shurkiya ji..
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #11 on: September 12, 2010, 07:43:57 PM »
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Usual Smile
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ANAAM
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«Reply #12 on: September 12, 2010, 09:21:32 PM »
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Wah Geet wah kya khoob khumaar ka aalam jagaya hai ji....tabiyat.
bagh bagh ho gayee jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
Ab Anaam se Humnaam ho gaye hai hain hum
Do jism ek jaan ho gaye hain sanam ab hum


Quote from: brokenbyluv on September 09, 2010, 08:10:15 PM



Do jism ek jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum,

kabhi tumhare tou kabhi merre hotho se nikla,
mhbt ka paigham ban gye hai hum,

pehle katrate the ek duje k saamne aane se,
ab tou humsafar sar-e-aam ban gye hai hum,

dhalti ubharti muskurati dil lubhati,
bepanah ishq ki aesi shaam ban gye hai hum,

jo ehsas hamein jode rakhta hai har ghadi,
usi ehsas ka haseen sa naam ban gye hai hum,

yu tou sukoon nhi rehta pal bhar ko bhi,
kuch is kadar nigaho ka araam ban gye hai hum,

Do jism ek jaan ban gye hai hum,
ek duje ka anjaam ban gye hai hum.........
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #13 on: September 12, 2010, 09:28:55 PM »
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Quote from: ANAAM on September 12, 2010, 09:21:32 PM
Wah Geet wah kya khoob khumaar ka aalam jagaya hai ji....tabiyat.
bagh bagh ho gayee jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
Ab Anaam se Humnaam ho gaye hai hain hum
Do jism ek jaan ho gaye hain sanam ab hum



Bahut bahut shukriya anaam ji aur apki do lines bhi bahut khoob hai.......
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ANAAM
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«Reply #14 on: September 14, 2010, 05:16:41 AM »
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Lijiye Shukriya Brokenbyluv...ji aapko hamaari do line pasand aayee.....do aur likhu kya....
Lo aaj jaane-jaana kasam khate hain hum
Abto har-janm tere saath he rahenge hum

Teree in adaayon kay gulaam ban gaye hain hum
Un madhosh shaamo k mehmaan ban gaye hain hum
Quote from: brokenbyluv on September 12, 2010, 09:28:55 PM
Bahut bahut shukriya anaam ji aur apki do lines bhi bahut khoob hai.......
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