Raat Teri Baahon Me Simte To Subah Badi Haseen Lagne Lagi...........Touhid

by Mohammad Touhid on August 29, 2013, 03:55:13 PM
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mkv
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«Reply #15 on: August 30, 2013, 12:20:00 AM »
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mujhe kuch naheen kahna..
bas itna ki aaj to khumar sar chadkar bola..
things are well communicated..and that's it.
ro kar kahen ya chup rahkar..baat saamne vaale tak pahunchni chahiye..
aur aap aamyaab rahe hain
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Na Mila Kahin Jo Mila Sukoon Teri Baahon Me...........Touhid by Mohammad Touhid in Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq « 1 2  All »
nashwani
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«Reply #16 on: August 30, 2013, 12:50:17 AM »
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 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

kya baat hai MT bhai bahut bahut khoob ehsaas rahe..dhero daad..happy9
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F.H.SIDDIQUI
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«Reply #17 on: August 30, 2013, 02:19:18 AM »
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Bahut khoob ,Touhid saheb . Khayalat achhe pairaye mein nazm karne ki koshish ki hai... Bazm mein hum eik doosre se seekhte hain.Haider saheb ne achha mashwira diya hai . Ummeed hai is se hum sabhi faayeda uthhayeinge.aapko achhi koshish k liye bahut mubarakbaad.
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«Reply #18 on: August 30, 2013, 08:51:18 AM »
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Waah-Waah Bahut Khoob,tauhid ji Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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poonamA
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«Reply #19 on: August 30, 2013, 01:55:45 PM »
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bahot sunder
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Mohammad Touhid
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«Reply #20 on: August 30, 2013, 05:48:41 PM »
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Quote from: sksaini4 on August 29, 2013, 04:07:18 PM
icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower waah waah bahut khoobsoorat

bahut bahut shukriya sir ji.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #21 on: August 30, 2013, 05:55:37 PM »
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Quote from: Advo.RavinderaRavi on August 29, 2013, 04:30:04 PM
Bahut Khoob.

shukriya Ravi ji.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #22 on: August 30, 2013, 06:04:46 PM »
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Quote from: @Kaash on August 29, 2013, 04:45:28 PM
Oye hoye! Aaye haye! Kya baat hai ji! Bada khumar-shumar se labrez likha hai,daad !  Khush rahen!

waqt dene ka bahut bahut shukriya kaash ji.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #23 on: August 30, 2013, 06:06:11 PM »
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Quote from: saahill on August 29, 2013, 04:48:58 PM
waah waah waah waah waah waah waah waah waah waah waah waah tauheed sahab aaj ka rau aap le lijiye

aapka bahut bahut shukriya saahil bhai.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #24 on: August 30, 2013, 06:07:40 PM »
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Quote from: sahal on August 29, 2013, 05:24:50 PM
waah waah touhid ji,,,bohut hi dilfareb kalam raha ,
zabardast ...mind blowing
ApplauseApplauseApplauseApplauseApplause
ApplauseApplauseApplauseApplauseApplause

bahut bahut shukriya sahal ji.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #25 on: August 30, 2013, 06:09:21 PM »
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Quote from: Iqtedar on August 29, 2013, 06:01:58 PM
Lajawab - bahot khooob, dheron daad...
 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

bahut shukriya iqtedar ji.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #26 on: August 30, 2013, 06:11:17 PM »
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Quote from: Ghulam Haider on August 29, 2013, 06:27:15 PM

MoHtaram wa mukarram janaab "Mohammad Touhid" SaaHib ba Sad adab HaaZ'ir e khidmat hooN. Sabhi yaaraan e bazm ba khoobi jaante haiN ke maiN kisi ke kalaam par bohot kam tabSirah karta hooN. Us ki buniyaadi vajh ye hai ke kisi ki dil shikani na ho. Lekin agar kuchh kehte hooN to maHZ' khush karne ke liye dikhave ki ta'reef bhi nahiN karta, balke munSifana Taur par iSlaaHi pehlu ko bhi naZar meN rakhte huve kuchh kehne ki koshish karta hooN. Ummeed karta hooN ke meri koi bhi baat baar e khaaTir na banegi. Behtar ye hai ke aap ki is kaavish par fikri, fanni aur ma'navi guftgu na karte huve Sirf aur Sirf lafZi aur kuchh saTHi adabi guftgu ho jaye. Kuchh ahamm nikaat haiN jin ki Taraf isharah karna apna farZ' samajhta hooN

Janaab Ghulaam Haider sahab.. Aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya ke aapne meri ghazal ko apna kimti waqt diya.. Usual Smile

Raat Teri Baahon Me Simte To Subah Badi Haseen Lagne Lagi.,
Aaye Jo Tum Meri Duniya Me Ye Duniya Rangeen Lagne Lagi..

Ba Zaahir maTle' ke pehle miSra' meN aap ne jis lafZ se khitaab kiya hai wo "Teri" hai, lekin wahiN doosre miSra' meN "tum" ka lafZ ista'maal kiya hai. ye adab meN qabeeH aur ghair pasandeedah ravish hai.

janaab bilkul durust farmaya yahaan aapne... i agreed.. ab samajh aa gaya ishara aapka.. Usual Smile aur galti hamari ke mai aage se ishe na dohraaun.. Usual Smile
----------------------------------------------------------
Aane Se Tere Aana Hai Bahaar Ka Aur Jane Se Bahaar Ka Jaana.,
Ab Har Ek Mausam Teri Maujoodagi Me Behtareen Lagne Lagi..

Doosri line meN aap ne "har ek mausam" ke saath "behtareen lagne lagi" kaha hai jabke "masuam" muzakkar iste'maal hota hai. Aur behtareen "lagne laga" durust hai. Ye mushkil radeef se hai.

haan yahan bhi thodi si galti ho gayi humse aur ise thik karne ka shukriya..
------------------------------------------------------
Farsh Me Baithe The Ab Tak Tere Aate Hi Arsh Tak Pahuche..
Tanha Tha Kal Par Aaj Zindagi Ki Meri Tum Mu’een Lagne Lagi..

Pehle miSra' meN aap ne kaha hai "Farsh meN" jab ke durust "Farsh par" hai. Is she'r ke pehle miSra meN aap ne "ham" aur doosre miSra' meN "maiN" ka mafhoom Zaahir kiya hai jo na munaasib ravish hai. Aur isi TarH "Tum" ke saath "lagne lagi" bhi qabeeH hai "lagne lagiN" durust hai.

icon_scratch icon_scratch icon_scratch icon_scratch ab ispe kya kahoon.. okay.. Usual Smile
----------------------------------------------------------
Soye The Aagosh Me Tere Jab Jaage Bhi To Kareeb Hi Paya.,
Ehsaas Tera Tha Aisa Jaanaa Mujhe Tu Yaasmeen Lagne Lagi..

YahaN "Soye the aaghosh meN teri" durust hai "Tere" durust nahiN hai. Aur lafZ "jaanaaN" durust hai "Jaanaa" se baat ka yahaN koi munaasib maTlab nahiN nikalta.

ye sayad aap pronunciation pe keh rahe hai.. par ye mujhe lagta hai ke thik hai.. khair.. Usual Smile
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Agar Thi Khushiyaan Mere Paas To Gham Bhi Bahut Tha.,
Dard Ko Bhool Sa Gaya Tu Mujhe Aur Bhi Qareen Lagne Lagi..

Ba Zaahir ye lines kisi shdeed qubH aur suqm se paak haiN, haaN "khushiyaN" ke saath "thiN" iste'maal hoga, aur "gham bhi bahut tha" se "gham bhi bahut the" ziyadah saazgaar hai.

ye thik hokar bhi thik nahi hai...  icon_scratch icon_scratch
-----------------------------------------------------------
Sajaya Ish Kadar Meri Duniya Ko Apni Mohabbat Se Tune.,
Meri Baagh-E-Zindagi Ki Tum Dilbar Gul-Cheen Lagne Lagi..

pehle miSra' meN "ish kadar" sharad typing meN mistake ki vajh se huwa ho "is Qadr" durust hai. Aur doosre miSra' meN "meri" ki jagha "Mere" durust hai. Aur "tum" ke saath "lagne lagiN" aayega.

samajh gaya bhai jaan.. Usual Smile
------------------------------------------------------------
Mujhe ummeed hai ke aap meri kisi baat ka manfi maTlab na leNge aur agar kahiN mujh se koi ghalaTi ho gayi ho to us ki Taraf isharah kerNge taaki mujhe apni kami ko door karne ka mauqa' mile. Allah aap ki taufeeqaat meN iZ'aafah farmaye.
Khaaksaar : Haider


Janaab Haider sahab.. aapke comments ne sochne pe majboor kar diya.. bahut khoobsurati se aapne saare sher ko define kiya aur jo bhi galtiya thi unhe dikhaya, bataya aur sudhara.. ab aage se yahi kosis rahegi ke main inn chijon pe dhyaan doon..

aise hi saath dete rahe.. shaad-o-abaad rahe.. Usual Smile
shukriya aapka bahut bahut shukriya.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #27 on: August 30, 2013, 06:45:56 PM »
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Quote from: amit_prakash_meet on August 29, 2013, 06:37:42 PM
बहुत खूब...तौहीद भाई....क्या बात है....बहुत उम्दा पेशकश......
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

bahut bahut shukriya amit bhai.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #28 on: August 30, 2013, 06:48:16 PM »
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Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on August 29, 2013, 06:53:01 PM
janaab Gulam haider sahab aapka yahan aana hi ye darshata hai ke MT ne kuch to acha likha hai aur usi ki durustii ke liye aapka yahan aana hua..... main aapki har baat se ittefaq rakhti hun ....

thodi si correction ke sath ye kalaam behtareen ho sakta hai....
aapse guzarish hai isi tarah aur logon ke liye bhi aap apni islaah diya karen.....

bahot bahot shukriya aapkaa


Thank you ji.. aapne dono pehluo pe dhyaan dete hue hum dono ki na burayi ki na tareef ki.. bilkul justified reply.. aur aapke comments bahut hi valuable aur sikhne layak hai..

bahut bahut shukriya kasu.. Usual Smile
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«Reply #29 on: August 30, 2013, 06:57:46 PM »
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Quote from: aqsh on August 29, 2013, 07:00:40 PM
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Hmmmmmmmm touhid ji kaafi achchi tarah aapne is sher ko nibhaya hai.. bahut khoob achchi peshkash... dheron dheron daad..

hausla afjayi ka shukriya aqsh ji.. Usual Smile
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