Tera Mujhse Rishta.......Pooja Chakravarti

by poojachakarvarti@gmail.co on March 03, 2016, 06:34:29 AM
Pages: [1]
ReplyPrint
Author  (Read 951 times)
poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
Shayari Qadrdaan
***

Rau: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Waqt Bitaya:
1 days, 18 hours and 31 minutes.
Posts: 265
Member Since: Feb 2016


View Profile
Reply with quote
Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti
Logged
Rustum Rangila
Yoindian Shayar
******

Rau: 128
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
10 days, 16 hours and 31 minutes.

Posts: 2534
Member Since: Oct 2015


View Profile
«Reply #1 on: March 03, 2016, 07:33:25 AM »
Reply with quote
Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Bahot achey waaaah waah...
Please try to change the below;

Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
(Agni ka rishta to flammable chezon se hota hai na ke Paani se)
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
(Khushi ka opposite Ghum hota hai)

As example;
Agni ka sath LAKDI/KOELE/GAS/PETROL ke jaesa
Khushi ka sath MUSKURAHAT/HANSI/MASARRAT ke jaesa Usual Smile

Sorry ghalat na samajhna main ne apna suggestion rakha hai, waese mujhe itni ziyada samajh nahi poetry ki ke kisi ko samjha sakon - par jo samajh aaya so bata diya... again sorry bura mat manna Usual Smile
Logged
poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
Shayari Qadrdaan
***

Rau: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Waqt Bitaya:
1 days, 18 hours and 31 minutes.
Posts: 265
Member Since: Feb 2016


View Profile
«Reply #2 on: March 03, 2016, 08:26:34 AM »
Reply with quote
Nahi nahi aap bilkul theek ho apni jagah
but let me explain my point of view behind
the Poet...
"agni ke sath pani ka jaisa" yaha ye ek dusre ke purak h
jis trah agni ko sirf pani hi shaant ker sakta hai,
"dhoop ke sath chaaw ka jaisa" again ye dono cheeze ek dusre ki purak hai aap kisi bhi ek cheez ke abhaav me dusri cheez ko feel nhi ker sakte....jabtak dukh nhi ayega khushi feel nhi hogi, dhoop nhi lagegi toh chaaw ka aanand kaise ayega,
aag nhi lagegi toh bujhane ki zarurat nhi mehsoos hogi...

Am impressed ki apne meri poetry ko itne dhyaan se padha
and apni soach bhi share ki, aur mujhe bhi explain kerne ka mouka diya...
"Words toh ek hote hai per uss se jude ehsaas aneik hote hai"

Thank You So Much For The Complement Hume pyar se di hue har cheez Azeez hai...
Logged
Rustum Rangila
Yoindian Shayar
******

Rau: 128
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
10 days, 16 hours and 31 minutes.

Posts: 2534
Member Since: Oct 2015


View Profile
«Reply #3 on: March 03, 2016, 08:39:50 AM »
Reply with quote
Thanks for explanation - aur is khoobsurat ehsasaat ke liye hamari taraf se pyar bhara Rau khubool kijiye...

Sach hai jab koi poetry likhta hai to apne ehsasaat ko lafzon may pirota hai, aur kabhi kabhi hamen samajhne may thoda bahot confusion ho jaata hai...
Thanks ke aapne bahot hi achey se samjhaya Usual Smile
Logged
aarzoo-e-arjun
Khususi Shayar
*****

Rau: 69
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
4 days, 12 hours and 49 minutes.

i want to live my life through my words and voice.

Posts: 1065
Member Since: Feb 2016


View Profile WWW
«Reply #4 on: March 03, 2016, 10:36:25 AM »
Reply with quote
 Applause Applause Applause
Logged
adil bechain
Umda Shayar
*

Rau: 161
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
31 days, 18 hours and 24 minutes.

Posts: 6552
Member Since: Mar 2009


View Profile
«Reply #5 on: March 03, 2016, 12:27:39 PM »
Reply with quote
Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa, ye to dushmani ka rishtaa hai icon_scratch icon_scratch
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
Shayari Qadrdaan
***

Rau: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Waqt Bitaya:
1 days, 18 hours and 31 minutes.
Posts: 265
Member Since: Feb 2016


View Profile
«Reply #6 on: March 03, 2016, 12:31:18 PM »
Reply with quote
Ha kuch dushmani jaisa, khamoshi jaisa
par ek doosre ke bin raha na jaye
rishta hai hamara kuch aisa...
Logged
sksaini4
Ustaad ae Shayari
*****

Rau: 853
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
112 days, 8 hours and 51 minutes.
Posts: 36414
Member Since: Apr 2011


View Profile
«Reply #7 on: March 03, 2016, 02:36:29 PM »
Reply with quote
 Applause Applause
Logged
surindarn
Ustaad ae Shayari
*****

Rau: 273
Offline Offline

Waqt Bitaya:
134 days, 2 hours and 27 minutes.
Posts: 31520
Member Since: Mar 2012


View Profile
«Reply #8 on: March 04, 2016, 12:32:32 AM »
Reply with quote
bahut khoobsurat Pooja Jee, dheron daad.
 icon_flower icon_flower Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Logged
poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
Shayari Qadrdaan
***

Rau: 9
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Waqt Bitaya:
1 days, 18 hours and 31 minutes.
Posts: 265
Member Since: Feb 2016


View Profile
«Reply #9 on: March 04, 2016, 05:29:48 AM »
Reply with quote
Thank You Surindum Ji and sk. saini ji...
Logged
Mast Khalander
Maqbool Shayar
****

Rau: 2
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
2 days, 11 hours and 42 minutes.

PhoolNahiMeraDilHai

Posts: 902
Member Since: Jul 2013


View Profile
«Reply #10 on: March 06, 2016, 10:50:19 AM »
Reply with quote
Mastttt vahhhh  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
Logged
Amit Singh Suryavanshi
Maqbool Shayar
****

Rau: 12
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Waqt Bitaya:
3 days, 24 minutes.

❣यूँ तो रातों को नींद नही आती, पर रातों को सो कर

Posts: 572
Member Since: Apr 2015


View Profile
«Reply #11 on: March 07, 2016, 06:14:07 AM »
Reply with quote
Tera mera  relation bhi ajib hai tum relation todna chahte ho aur main jodna
Logged
Pages: [1]
ReplyPrint
Jump to:  

+ Quick Reply
With a Quick-Reply you can use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post, but much more conveniently.


Get Yoindia Updates in Email.

Enter your email address:

Ask any question to expert on eTI community..
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
November 12, 2024, 08:22:27 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Recent Replies
[November 08, 2024, 09:59:54 AM]

[November 08, 2024, 09:59:08 AM]

[November 07, 2024, 01:56:50 PM]

[November 07, 2024, 01:55:03 PM]

[November 07, 2024, 01:52:40 PM]

[November 07, 2024, 01:51:59 PM]

[October 30, 2024, 05:13:27 AM]

by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 07:57:46 AM]

by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 07:55:06 AM]

by ASIF
[October 29, 2024, 06:58:58 AM]
Yoindia Shayariadab Copyright © MGCyber Group All Rights Reserved
Terms of Use| Privacy Policy Powered by PHP MySQL SMF© Simple Machines LLC
Page created in 0.112 seconds with 25 queries.
[x] Join now community of 8507 Real Poets and poetry admirer