Tera Mujhse Rishta.......Pooja Chakravarti

by poojachakarvarti@gmail.co on March 03, 2016, 06:34:29 AM
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poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
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Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti
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Rustum Rangila
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«Reply #1 on: March 03, 2016, 07:33:25 AM »
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Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Bahot achey waaaah waah...
Please try to change the below;

Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa,
(Agni ka rishta to flammable chezon se hota hai na ke Paani se)
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
(Khushi ka opposite Ghum hota hai)

As example;
Agni ka sath LAKDI/KOELE/GAS/PETROL ke jaesa
Khushi ka sath MUSKURAHAT/HANSI/MASARRAT ke jaesa Usual Smile

Sorry ghalat na samajhna main ne apna suggestion rakha hai, waese mujhe itni ziyada samajh nahi poetry ki ke kisi ko samjha sakon - par jo samajh aaya so bata diya... again sorry bura mat manna Usual Smile
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poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
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«Reply #2 on: March 03, 2016, 08:26:34 AM »
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Nahi nahi aap bilkul theek ho apni jagah
but let me explain my point of view behind
the Poet...
"agni ke sath pani ka jaisa" yaha ye ek dusre ke purak h
jis trah agni ko sirf pani hi shaant ker sakta hai,
"dhoop ke sath chaaw ka jaisa" again ye dono cheeze ek dusre ki purak hai aap kisi bhi ek cheez ke abhaav me dusri cheez ko feel nhi ker sakte....jabtak dukh nhi ayega khushi feel nhi hogi, dhoop nhi lagegi toh chaaw ka aanand kaise ayega,
aag nhi lagegi toh bujhane ki zarurat nhi mehsoos hogi...

Am impressed ki apne meri poetry ko itne dhyaan se padha
and apni soach bhi share ki, aur mujhe bhi explain kerne ka mouka diya...
"Words toh ek hote hai per uss se jude ehsaas aneik hote hai"

Thank You So Much For The Complement Hume pyar se di hue har cheez Azeez hai...
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Rustum Rangila
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«Reply #3 on: March 03, 2016, 08:39:50 AM »
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Thanks for explanation - aur is khoobsurat ehsasaat ke liye hamari taraf se pyar bhara Rau khubool kijiye...

Sach hai jab koi poetry likhta hai to apne ehsasaat ko lafzon may pirota hai, aur kabhi kabhi hamen samajhne may thoda bahot confusion ho jaata hai...
Thanks ke aapne bahot hi achey se samjhaya Usual Smile
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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i want to live my life through my words and voice.

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«Reply #4 on: March 03, 2016, 10:36:25 AM »
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 Applause Applause Applause
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adil bechain
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«Reply #5 on: March 03, 2016, 12:27:39 PM »
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Tera Mujhse Rishta ban Gya Hai Aisa
Samander Ke Sath Lehron Ka Jaisa,
Agni ke sath Paani Ke Jaisa, ye to dushmani ka rishtaa hai icon_scratch icon_scratch
Dhoop Ke Sath Chaaw Ka Jaisa,
Rooh Ke Sath Zism Ka Jaisa,
Khushi Ke Sath Ghum ka Jaisa,
Tera Mujhse Rishta Ban Gaya Hai aisa
Kanha ke Sath Radha Ka Jaisa...

-Pooja Chakravarti

 Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
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«Reply #6 on: March 03, 2016, 12:31:18 PM »
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Ha kuch dushmani jaisa, khamoshi jaisa
par ek doosre ke bin raha na jaye
rishta hai hamara kuch aisa...
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sksaini4
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«Reply #7 on: March 03, 2016, 02:36:29 PM »
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 Applause Applause
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surindarn
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«Reply #8 on: March 04, 2016, 12:32:32 AM »
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bahut khoobsurat Pooja Jee, dheron daad.
 icon_flower icon_flower Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
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poojachakarvarti@gmail.co
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«Reply #9 on: March 04, 2016, 05:29:48 AM »
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Thank You Surindum Ji and sk. saini ji...
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Mast Khalander
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PhoolNahiMeraDilHai

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«Reply #10 on: March 06, 2016, 10:50:19 AM »
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Mastttt vahhhh  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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Amit Singh Suryavanshi
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❣यूँ तो रातों को नींद नही आती, पर रातों को सो कर

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«Reply #11 on: March 07, 2016, 06:14:07 AM »
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Tera mera  relation bhi ajib hai tum relation todna chahte ho aur main jodna
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