Tu rakeeboN ki janib sarakti rahi

by harashmahajan on March 09, 2008, 04:06:45 PM
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harashmahajan
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Tu rakeeboN ki janib sarakti rahi

Tu rakeeboN ki janib sarakti rahi,
MaiN sulagta raha tu bahekti rahi.

MaiN tere anjuman main yuiN hi raat –din,
Bas tahelta raha tu bikharti rahi.

Tu toh GairoN ki mehfil main hansti rahi,
MaiN toh Ghut.ta raha tu machalti rahi.

MaiN toh jazbatoN se khwaab bunta raha,
Par wafa kerke bhi tu palat.ti rahi.

MaiN teri rahoN se shool chunta raha,
Per ye dard aahoN main tu badalti rahi.

Mere khwaboN ki mehfil maiN lout aao tum,
Meri manzil yahi tu kuchalti rahi.


Harash
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punam
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«Reply #1 on: March 09, 2008, 04:09:24 PM »
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wow bahot khoob harsh ji...bahot hi acha hai..
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Talat
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«Reply #2 on: March 09, 2008, 04:17:40 PM »
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Marvellous Harash....bohot hi khoobsurat peshkash hai Applause
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harashmahajan
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«Reply #3 on: March 09, 2008, 04:27:43 PM »
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punam ji achha laga ke is mehfil-e-yarana maiN padne waloN ko tehreereiN pasand aa rahi hai.....

Talat ji...... bahoot bahoot shukriya....aapki daad ke liye....itne senior member hone ke naate..mujhze umeed hai ki ..Genereal rules ke liye muzhe aap agaah kerti rahengi...


Harash
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #4 on: March 09, 2008, 04:53:25 PM »
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Wah harashmahajan ji!!!
padh kar dil se besakhta nikla Subhanallah!!!
bohot achhchha likha he or tanziya bhi.
(Aap ne to mere sare zakhm taza kardye)

++++++++++
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harashmahajan
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«Reply #5 on: March 09, 2008, 05:10:48 PM »
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Shukriyaah Sayyid Randeri ji....dil ko sakooN miltahai jab kisi ko ......  peshkash achhi lage....our aapka azaad ashar apni ahmiat liye hue....poore taab per hai....Ek khoobsoorat andaaz ......bohat acha likha aap ne.
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #6 on: March 09, 2008, 05:17:16 PM »
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shukriya harash ji aapne pasand farmaya
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Talat
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«Reply #7 on: March 10, 2008, 01:03:45 AM »
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Bohot khoob Sayyid...chand alfaz magar bohot khoobsurat..!!

Harsh, izzat-afzai ka shukriya....mere khyal main ye ghazal dard-e-bewafi ya Dard main zyada theek rahegi..agar aapko theek lage to Monitors ise move kar sakte hain.

Apke aur Sayyid ke kalam ke saamne kuch likhna mushkil hai, phir bhi ek adna si koshish..



Laut aayenge wo ek roz mere paas
Isi ummeed pe din guzarte rahe

Shab-e-tanhaayi main hum, aasman main wo chaand
Dono hi safar tanhaa karte rahe

Dard-e-dil se iss dunya ko kya waasta
So, chupa ke hum askhon ko, hanste rahe

Hum unse shikayat karen bhi to kya
Jafa karke wo rasm-e-ishq poori karte rahe

Dawaa koi zakhm mere bhar naa saki,
wo chot karte rahe, chot karte rahe
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harashmahajan
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«Reply #8 on: March 10, 2008, 03:46:04 AM »
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Harsh, izzat-afzai ka shukriya....mere khyal main ye ghazal dard-e-bewafi ya Dard main zyada theek rahegi..agar aapko theek lage to Monitors ise move kar sakte hain.

Apke aur Sayyid ke kalam ke saamne kuch likhna mushkil hai, phir bhi ek adna si koshish..




Laut aayenge wo ek roz mere paas
Isi ummeed pe din guzarte rahe

Shab-e-tanhaayi main hum, aasman main wo chaand
Dono hi safar tanhaa karte rahe

Dard-e-dil se iss dunya ko kya waasta
So, chupa ke hum askhon ko, hanste rahe

Hum unse shikayat karen bhi to kya
Jafa karke wo rasm-e-ishq poori karte rahe

Dawaa koi zakhm mere bhar naa saki,
wo chot karte rahe, chot karte rahe

Talat ji adaab...HaaN talat ji aap ise moov ker deiN...ise sahi mukaam per pahooNcha deiN....Aapko Ghazal ka mazmoon our taseer pasand ayi ...yahi tehreer ko uska tohfa hai.....

Our talat ji ye kya keh diyaa aapne....aapki tehreer ne toh hila ke rakh diya...itna dard liye hue ek ek misra aapki shasiat ko ukerta chala ja raha hai...waah bahoot khoob.....aapke jazbat kis tarah dard se khel rahe haiN...jaise aap dard likhne ke mahir haiN..... iss hasiin-tariin nazm ko yahaaN pesh karne ke liye maiN aapka mamnoon hooN  Talat ji....ummiid hai ye karam_farmaaii aage bhii haasil hoti rahegi...shukriyaa ...aaki tehreer ko izzat bakshte hue maiN ek ashar kehna chahooNga talat ji.....

Pyaar maiN unsey is kader kerta chala jaooN
Woh Zakhm diye chale jayeiN maiN bharta chala jaooN
Unki ye zid ki woh mujhe maar hi daaleiN
Meri ye zid ki unpey marta chala jaooN



Harash

 
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honeyrose
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«Reply #9 on: March 10, 2008, 04:56:17 AM »
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Bohat acha likha hai harash ji Usual Smile
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harashmahajan
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«Reply #10 on: March 10, 2008, 05:07:52 AM »
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BAHOOT  BAHOOT SHUKRIYAA HONEY JI....
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Talat
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«Reply #11 on: March 10, 2008, 11:47:48 AM »
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Quote from: harashmahajan on March 10, 2008, 03:46:04 AM

Talat ji adaab...HaaN talat ji aap ise moov ker deiN...ise sahi mukaam per pahooNcha deiN....Aapko Ghazal ka mazmoon our taseer pasand ayi ...yahi tehreer ko uska tohfa hai.....

Our talat ji ye kya keh diyaa aapne....aapki tehreer ne toh hila ke rakh diya...itna dard liye hue ek ek misra aapki shasiat ko ukerta chala ja raha hai...waah bahoot khoob.....aapke jazbat kis tarah dard se khel rahe haiN...jaise aap dard likhne ke mahir haiN..... iss hasiin-tariin nazm ko yahaaN pesh karne ke liye maiN aapka mamnoon hooN  Talat ji....ummiid hai ye karam_farmaaii aage bhii haasil hoti rahegi...shukriyaa ...aaki tehreer ko izzat bakshte hue maiN ek ashar kehna chahooNga talat ji.....

Pyaar maiN unsey is kader kerta chala jaooN
Woh Zakhm diye chale jayeiN maiN bharta chala jaooN
Unki ye zid ki woh mujhe maar hi daaleiN
Meri ye zid ki unpey marta chala jaooN



Harash

 


Bhot bohot shukriya Harash, is taareef ke aage hum to sharmsaar ho gaye hain... color Dard likhne main maahir to nahin, par hume dard likhna achcha lagta hai..Khumar-e-ishq likhen to usmain bhi kahin na kahin dard chalak hi jata hai !

Aapne bohot hi achcha likha hai !!


Chaar lafz keh gaye wo mohabbat bhare
Aur hum raat bhar khwaab bunte rahe

Jaane kitne samundar the in aankhon main
Ashk behte rahe, aur wo chunte rahe !!
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Pooja
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«Reply #12 on: March 10, 2008, 03:00:46 PM »
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bahoot khoob Harsh and Talat!!!
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #13 on: March 10, 2008, 06:27:36 PM »
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Bohot hi umda likha talat aapne

Dawaa koi zakhm mere bhar naa saki,
wo chot karte rahe, chot karte rahe

or padh ke ham ? Aah barte rahe, Aah bharte rahe
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Talat
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«Reply #14 on: March 10, 2008, 07:03:27 PM »
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Thanks Pooja....bohot bohot shukriya Sayyid Usual Smile
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