ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??

bhooot khooob

 
bohat khub waaaaaaaaahhhhh

shukriya aap hazraat ka hausla afzai k liye...

very nice sana ji..

Mohtarma sana Afroz Sahiba! salam

yahaN se phir guzer hua, tu aap ki ye shandar mukhtasir nazm nazron se guzri.. buhat khoobsurat nazm hay... ye beher hamari pasandida bahoor men say hay... aur aap ne is beher men apnay khayalat piro ker pesh kiyay... aur khoob kiyay...

ek do ilmi havaalay say baaten hen... ummeed hay kisi kaam na bhi aain ye baaten tu koi nuqsaan bhi na den gi...

.....................
agar aap ghaur karen tu

Wo mujhko main usko chahoon,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??

is sher ka doosra misra, pehlay misra se thora sa chhota hay... yaani ager doosra misra k aakhir men "naa" likh diya jayay tu wazan men dono misray baraber ho jain gay..

Wo mujhko main usko chahoon,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai naa??

aap ne jis tarah isay bandha hay, is men koi harj nahi hay... albata aglay dono band bhi isi wazan men hon tu... tamaam band ek he wazan men hon gay...  ...  hum misaal k taur per halki si tabdeeli mazrat k sath ker rahay hen.. maqsad sirf wazan ki wazaahat kerna hay..pehlay misra ko bhi thora sa badal rahay hen, takay is ka qafia mil jayay (agerche qafia milana bhi kuch zaroori nahi)


main us ko wo mujh ko chaahay,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??
aur wo mujhko bhool bhi jaye,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??

main aankhon Mein deep jala ker,
   us kay rastay ko dekhoon,
aur wo aakar laut bhi jaye,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??

mana ke saare rishton ko,
   tor ke us ka sang chaloon.
aur wo mera hath chor de ,
   ye bhi to ho sakta hai ??

................

ek baat aur bhi arooz k havaalay se aap tak puhnchana chahen gay... is misra ko dekhiyay

aur wo mera hath chor de ,

is misra men "haath chor de" ... ka wazan, "punjabi arooz" ka wazan hay... urdu ilm-e-arooz isay "behr-e-mutaqaarib" se nahi maantaa.. lekin hum zaati taur per is wazan ko is beher men racha basa hua paatay hen...

kai baar esi khoobsurat nazmon ko dekh ker dil nahi chahta, k us per koi ilmi he sahi, tanqeed ki jayay, lekin ye soch ker hum qalam utha letay hen, k apni taraf se tu hum nek-niyaati se kuch baaten ilmi havaalay say shaayar tak puhncha den, baaki jesay aap munasib samjhen..

ek darkhwaast bhi hay, k agar hamaara is tarah ki rayay dena, naa-gavaar guzer raha hay ya mustaqbil men kabhi bura lagay, tu bagher kisi jhijhak k keh dijay ga... hum is ka bura nahi manatay...

dua-go...