Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki:Shayri-E-Dard

Khurmi

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Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki
Dabbe paaon jaane lagi teri yaad aane ki
Cheeda cheeda baton ka bhi ab nahi hai khayal
Sadke jaaon main ab, kya baat hai iss zamane ki
Fursat ke pal do pal, gurr kahin se milain mujhe
Dil ki vo baat karun, kabil hai jo bataanay ki


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khwahish

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Re: Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki

«Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 03:08:21 PM »

Quote from: Khurmi on December 09, 2011, 02:45:26 PM

bahut khoob...

Par Khurmi Ji Sher-o-Shayari ka Dusra naam Adab hai Agar Aap Meri Ghazal Itni Der Se Padh Rahe The Jo Maine Issi Radeef Aur kaafiye Mein Likhi Thi, To Aapka pehla Farz banta Hai Ke Aap pehle Waha Comment kare Aur Phir Apne Jazbaaton ko ussi leh mein Utaare..Yeh To Wahi Baat Ho gayi Aap Kisi Ka Likha padhe Aur phir Lafzon Ko Idhar-Udhar kare Aur Phir use Apna bana de,,Sher Shayari Likhne wale Bahut milenge Par Shayar To Wahi Hai jo Auron ko Padh Kar Unhe Daad dena Bhi Jaane..Shukriya


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Khurmi

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Re: Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki

«Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 04:47:01 PM »

Kwahish Saab adaab
Must admit ke main yahan ki shairi ke adaab se navakif hun, mera kyal tha ke shayad vo 'aglay daur' main hua karta tha. Khair I apologise where it's due, lehaza maafi chahta hun, I am sorry. Apki ki ghazal ankhon se guzri thi, ussi ko padh kar mujhe apne chund Likhe hue ashaar yaad aye, again sorry for any agitation that might have caused you. Aapko vaise bohat se poetry mille gee jo ke milti julti hai isska ye matlab nahi ke koi plagiarism is taking place. Aapki apni ek line'aur bhi gham hain duniya main mohabat ke siva' is a blatant reference to Faiz saab. And lastly I also disagree with your definition of a 'shayar'.
'Vo shayar hi kya jo daad ka mutlashi ho'


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ParwaaZ

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Re: Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki

«Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 06:36:03 PM »

Khurmi Jee Aadaab!

Janab aapke khayaal behad khoob rahe .. aur ashaar bhi..
Aapka andaaz e bayaaN hume achcha laga laga.. Humari daad
O mubarakbad kabul kijiye..

Aap aik behad achche writter haiN.. Yeh baat saaf zaheer hai..
par janab Khawahish jee ki baat ka matlab yeH na nikaliye ke
woH aapko shayar nahi kah rahe.. aap achche shayar hai sahab..
bus mehfil ke kuch adab aur rivaiyat hoti hai jisse mehfil meiN
raNg chade aur khud ehtmaadi meiN bhi izaafa ho... Jab aapne apni
kalaam ke chaNd ashaar unki likhi kalaam se mutasir hokar kahe
haiN toH waqai aapne apne ashaar Khawahish jee ke khiraaj e akhidat
meiN pesh karne bhi chahiye the.. par yeH aapki marzi hai..

Par aap aisa karte toH aapke yeH ashaar wahaaN ke moujud sabhi
log padh lete... Khair hume kia kahna hai kuch kah nahi paa raheN
hai par aap zaheen hai so samajhdar ko ishara kafi hai..
Ummid hai aap is mehfil meiN apne kalaamoN se aur apne kimti araa
se roshni bikhereNge..

Khush O aabaad rahiye.. aate rahiye..
Khuda hafez..


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Khurmi

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Re: Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki

«Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 07:26:09 PM »

Parvaaz saab adab,
Yaar na main koi shayar hoon aur na hi koi lekhak, sirf alfaaz se toda bohat khel leta hoon. Aap logon se batain kake mujhe lug raha hai ke main shayad ghalib-o-daagh ke dilli main pohanch gaya hoon aur chiragh ki roshni main koi mushaira dekh raha hoon. Jo ke acha lagta hai per kuch der ke liye, novelty effect soon wears off.
Main ne jaisa ke arz kya tha ke khwaahish saab ke kalam se 'mutaasir' ho kar nahi, balke unke ek misre se mujhe apne chand purane sher yaad aa gaye. Agar aap mere aur unke ashaar ko parallel bitha kar dekhain (halanke main ne abhi aisa nahi kiya)tau dono mukhtalif hain. 'Khiraje tehseen main pesh karna' jaisi phrases makes me laugh. No offence, lekin abhi tak main ne aisa kuch nahi padha yahan jo ke iss title ka mustahiq ho.
To put it bluntly, yahan koi genius abhi tak mujhe nazar nahi aaya.agar koi hai apki nazar main tau please mujhe inform kijye. Mera khiraj-e-tehseen sirf chund logon ke liye hai, shayad ye alfaaz different logon ke liye different meaning rakhte hain. Main poetry or prose main creativity ya originality dekhta hoon. Apne munh se koi greatness achieve nahi karta, even popularity bhi kissi ki greatness ki guarantee nahi. Aur rahi baat adab ki tua jaisa ke sahir ne kabhi kaha tha
Main tamadan ke takaddas ko samajhta hoon faraib
Tum rasmon ko iman banaati kyuon ho?
baaki jo buraa lage uss ke liye I am sorry
'kehta hoon such ke jhoot ki aadat nahi mujhe'
khurmi


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ParwaaZ

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Re: Gham-e-duniya se fursat nahi sar uthane ki

«Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 08:02:59 PM »

Janab Aadaab!

ha ha ha haha ... yaar janab aap kis mijaaz e sharif meiN hai
maiN ab tak samjh nahi payaa.. haaN yeH samjh chukaa huN ke
aap kitne maNjhe huye shayar haiN.. janab aapke khayaal aapki
zahiniyat hai.. ab zaroori nahi ke har kisi ko aapke khayaal
yaa mere khayaal sahiN hi lage..

Jee maine khhiraaj e tahseen ke liye aapki marzi kah dii hai..
so maiN bhi us par guftagu nahi karna chahuNga aur waise bhi
maiN aik kalaam par dobaara se nazar nahi aata.. par aapke
sawaal aur aapke khayaal ko aaphi ko tahseen karne aana pada..

Jee janab aap farmaiye aapko ki hadhtak maNjhe huye shayar yahaaN
dekhne hai.. yahaaN bhi aik se badhkar aik sukhanwar hai... yeH
baat aur hai ke maiN nahi huN.. aur na hi kabhi kahta huN ke maiN
koi shayar huN kyuN ke maiN apne kinaare janta huN ...

Khair aapse kuch kaha suni ho to muafi chahuNga.. par aap apne
khayaaloN ko khud ke atraaf hi rakheN to auroN ko koi pareshani
nahi hoNgi.. Ummid hai aapka safar yahaaN khushnumaa guzre,

Khuda Hafez..


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