ghazal :Shayri-E-Dard

laaiba

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ghazal likhne kee koshish Feared.

   ghazal
  dil K daaMan main koi to aas rehne do
  chaNd yaaDein mere bhi paas rehne do
  taluq to khatm ho hee chukay hain lekin
  pyar kee thoddi dil mein bass rehne do
  chalo tum bhool jaayo pyar kee baatein
  main hoo tanhaa to mujhe be aas rehne do
  rooh main muhabbat hee ko utaaraa tha
  baaqi ab dard kaa ehhsaas rehne do
  apni manzil ko paa kar meira mat socho
  kia hai meiraa mujhe uudaas rehne do....
  laaiba ali angel11


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Anahita

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #1 on: May 11, 2012, 12:06:18 PM »

Good one Laaiba Jee


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soudagar

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #2 on: May 11, 2012, 12:16:21 PM »

bahut khub....... Clapping Smiley


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Quateel Ahmad

Guest

Re: ghazal

«Reply #3 on: May 11, 2012, 12:30:34 PM »

khoob!!!


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sksaini4

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #4 on: May 11, 2012, 12:40:53 PM »

kaamyaab koshish dheron daad aur ek rau


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laaiba

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #5 on: May 11, 2012, 03:15:57 PM »

Quote from: Anahita on May 11, 2012, 12:06:18 PM

Good one Laaiba Jee

thnku ....


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laaiba

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #6 on: May 11, 2012, 03:16:52 PM »

Quote from: soudagar on May 11, 2012, 12:16:21 PM

bahut khub....... Clapping Smiley

bohat shukria...


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laaiba

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #7 on: May 11, 2012, 03:17:41 PM »

Quote from: Quateel Ahmad on May 11, 2012, 12:30:34 PM

khoob!!!

shukria...


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laaiba

Guest

Re: ghazal

«Reply #8 on: May 11, 2012, 03:18:44 PM »

Quote from: sksaini4 on May 11, 2012, 12:40:53 PM

kaamyaab koshish dheron daad aur ek rau

bohat shukria sir aapka hosla afzai ka thnku ...


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ParwaaZ

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #9 on: May 11, 2012, 07:34:31 PM »

Laibaa Sahibaa Aadaab!

Masha Allaah jee kia kahne waaH jee waaH bahut khoob jee
bahut umdaa... badi achchi kalaam kahi hai...

Sabhi ashaas O khayaal gazab ke rahe jee.. kia kahne waaH
badi pyaari kalaam kahi hai..

Humari dili daad O mubbarakbad kabul kijiye..
Likhate rhaiye... aate rahiye...

HaaN dusre ashaar ka kafiyaa " bass" dusre kafiyoN meiN
shamil nahi hoNga so us sher ko dusre kafiye se badl dijiye..

Khuda Hafez..


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mann.mann

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #10 on: May 12, 2012, 02:55:43 AM »

bahut sundar laabiaji...

Applause


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saahill

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #11 on: May 12, 2012, 03:08:21 AM »

bohtu khub laiba jai likhte rahiye


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mkv

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #12 on: May 12, 2012, 07:27:48 AM »

Good One Laaiba jee

appreciable effort..keep trying..

Applause


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dolly

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #13 on: May 12, 2012, 09:43:20 AM »

bahut bahut khoobsurat laaibaji...

Applause


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janumanu

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Re: ghazal

«Reply #14 on: May 14, 2012, 08:59:12 AM »

Quote from: laaiba on May 11, 2012, 11:54:12 AM

ghazal likhne kee koshish Feared.

bahut khoob ashaar haiN ji... behad pasand aayaa kalaam aapka

taluq to khatm ho hee chukay hain lekin
pyar kee thoddi dil mein bass rehne do

kya hi khoob baat kahi hai ............. kya hi khoob

kia hai meiraa mujhe uudaas rehne do....

....akhri misraa to bahut hi umdaa byaan huaa hai .,. zaraa sa behr pe dhyaan diyaa jaye to aur bhi nikhar jayegi gahzal..

likhti raheN


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