kuch jazbaato main se saansein jaati nahi

by Pooja on May 05, 2008, 03:35:32 PM
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #30 on: May 05, 2008, 09:41:02 PM »

Manzilen Bhi Uski Thi,
Raasta Bhi Uska Tha,

Ek Main Akela Tha,
Kaafila Bhi Uska Tha,

Saath-Saath Chalne Ki Soch Bhi Uski Thi,
Phir Raasta Badalne Ka Faisla Bhi Uska tha,

Aaj Main Akela Hoon,
Dil Sawaal Karta Hai,

LOG TO USS HI KE THE,
KYA KHUDA BHI USKA THA??


Kya baat he..... Bohot hi umda nazm he khwaish ji dil ko chhoo gai.  Applause
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Sayyid Randeri
Guest
«Reply #31 on: May 05, 2008, 09:58:10 PM »

- - - - - ------- - - - - -
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++++++++++++++++
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #32 on: May 05, 2008, 09:58:59 PM »
kuch khaas nahi.. magar khwaish ji na jaane kyun ab jab dobara apki share ki lines pardi to yah lines khud b khud likhi gai...

dil bhi ussi ka tha
dhadkane bhi ussi ki thi

Ghar bhi ussi ka tha'
chaahtein bhi ussi ki thi

ghar chor kar jaane ki soch bhi ussi ki thi
dil torr kar jaane ka irrdda bhi ussi ka tha

ajj main akeli hu
dil yah sawaal karta hai

main to rahi ussi ki
kaya koi mera bhi tha...
 
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #33 on: May 05, 2008, 10:01:17 PM »
uufff too good Sayyid jee!! ek eke shabd dard mai lipta hua ,... na jaane ki starah se itne zakhmo ke sath badi mushkil se saansein leta hua lag raha hai... bahoot khoob... dil se daad kabool kijiye!!

Jalad hi kuch likhne ki koshish hogi!!!
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Sayyid Randeri
Guest
«Reply #34 on: May 05, 2008, 10:05:53 PM »

dil bhi ussi ka tha
dhadkane bhi ussi ki thi

Ghar bhi ussi ka tha'
chaahtein bhi ussi ki thi

ghar chor kar jaane ki soch bhi ussi ki thi
dil torr kar jaane ka irrdda bhi ussi ka tha

ajj main akeli hu
dil yah sawaal karta hai

main to rahi ussi ki
kaya koi mera bhi tha...
 

Kuchh khaas nahi? are ye to bohot hi khaas he! sahi mane me daad ki haqdar he ye nazm.  Applause
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #35 on: May 05, 2008, 10:09:02 PM »
Such kahu to last line likhte waqat ankhein num ho gai thi.. bahoot bahoot shukaria is kavita main chipe dard ko samjhne ke liye!!!
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #36 on: May 05, 2008, 10:16:36 PM »
Sayyid ji... Adat hai ek sath kavita pard kar jawab likhne ki.. Ruk jaau to phir kuch likha nahi jaata... app jitani gahari kavita to nahi likh saki.. magar jo bhi likha gaya wo post kar rahi hu:

Is najar ko ab koi aor nahi bhaata
Armaano ka silsilla tham kyun nahi jaata

Armaan, jaGate hai Khwabo ko,
khwabo sa koi ab ban nahi paata
Khyalo ka yah silsilla thum kyun nahi jaata

Mere seene mai dabe Ahsaas, dhundate hai use
Us jaise koi Ahsaas mujhe de nahi paata
Socho ka yah silsilla thum kyun nahi jaata

Saansein chal rahi hai jab tak, khayal-o-khwab jagayegi
Ahsaas-e-Jazbaat se khayal-o-khwab alag kiya nahi jaata
In bachi hui saanson ka chlana Ruk kyun nahi jaata.........
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Sayyid Randeri
Guest
«Reply #37 on: May 05, 2008, 10:18:09 PM »

uufff too good Sayyid jee!! ek eke shabd dard mai lipta hua ,... na jaane ki starah se itne zakhmo ke sath badi mushkil se saansein leta hua lag raha hai... bahoot khoob... dil se daad kabool kijiye!!

Jalad hi kuch likhne ki koshish hogi!!!

Himmat afzai ke liye behad shukar guzaar hun, asal me jazbaat ka saans lena bada hi umda khyaal tha aapka, YO par aese Kyal ke malik chand hi honge, is liye apne jazbaat ki bhi saansen tez hogai, or alfaz Kud-b-kud or fil-foor {besakhta} nikalne lage, warna kuchh dino se kuchh khas nahi likha, khud pata nahi kya huwa, dimag ko deemak khaagai shayad.
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #38 on: May 05, 2008, 10:20:21 PM »
App likha kare.. jitna bhi likh saki.. apke sath likhne ki koshish hogi.. taaki kam se kam apke deemag ko deemak se to bachaya jaaye tongue3
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Sayyid Randeri
Guest
«Reply #39 on: May 05, 2008, 10:38:29 PM »
Sayyid ji... Adat hai ek sath kavita pard kar jawab likhne ki.. Ruk jaau to phir kuch likha nahi jaata... app jitani gahari kavita to nahi likh saki.. magar jo bhi likha gaya wo post kar rahi hu:

Is najar ko ab koi aor nahi bhaata
Armaano ka silsilla tham kyun nahi jaata

Armaan, jaGate hai Khwabo ko,
khwabo sa koi ab ban nahi paata
Khyalo ka yah silsilla thum kyun nahi jaata

Mere seene mai dabe Ahsaas, dhundate hai use
Us jaise koi Ahsaas mujhe de nahi paata
Socho ka yah silsilla thum kyun nahi jaata

Saansein chal rahi hai jab tak, khayal-o-khwab jagayegi
Ahsaas-e-Jazbaat se khayal-o-khwab alag kiya nahi jaata
In bachi hui saanson ka chlana Ruk kyun nahi jaata.........


Bohot khoob!!! bohot hi sundar or jazbaati he, magar ye kya kaha aapne saansen to abhi bohot baaqi he, or hamari dua he usme barkat ho, behtareen jwaab likhne ke liye shukriya.

++++++++++

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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #40 on: May 05, 2008, 10:44:05 PM »
Simple, deep, meaningful, bahoot khoob Sayyid ji!!!

saanso ki sargam ka dard app nahi jaante
Bin unke saason ka hona dushwaar, app nahi pehchante

Na do wo dua, jo ban jaaye badua
mar mar jeena, e-dost, app nahi jaante!!


Apki kavita ka jawab jalad he likhne ki koshish karugi..
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #41 on: May 05, 2008, 10:49:23 PM »
pata nahi kaya likh rahi hu..

Ankhon se dil mai samane wala
Dil ko torr kar, akela chor jaane wala

Ansoo jisne ponch kar, ansuo main doobone wala
Khwabo mai saj kar, khwabo ko torrane wala

Ajj bhi atta hai najar wo na najaro mai anne wala
Dekh kar mujhko, phir munh ko mord kar jaane wala

Kuch palo ka sath, phir har pal ko akela chordne wala
Zindagi le gaya sath, tooti hue sanso ko de jaane wala

Jazbaat se khail kar, pathar bana jaane wala
Hansti hui, chanchla ko, Pooja bana jaane wala
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syednaami
Guest
«Reply #42 on: May 05, 2008, 10:49:48 PM »
Himmat afzai ke liye behad shukar guzaar hun, asal me jazbaat ka saans lena bada hi umda khyaal tha aapka, YO par aese Kyal ke malik chand hi honge, is liye apne jazbaat ki bhi saansen tez hogai, or alfaz Kud-b-kud or fil-foor {besakhta} nikalne lage, warna kuchh dino se kuchh khas nahi likha, khud pata nahi kya huwa, dimag ko deemak khaagai shayad.

Likhte hain to saare teer seene men khaakar likhte hain, par har teer ko aise sarahte hain jaise teer na ho koi phool chho gaya ho inko mehka gaya ho. Inke alfaaz men ghazab ka jaadu hai, dard ki siyaahi itni tez hai ki kaghaz par agar qatra gir jaye to kaghaz jal jaaye, iss liye muhtarami apne alfaaz ko dil ke kissi kone men qufl-e-aahan se band karke rakhte hain.
Humne inko jab bhi padha to chashm nam aur dil men un teeron ki chubhan ka ehsaas dabang paaya.
Yeh jazbaat ke dhani hain, dard ka qafila hain, muhabbat se sarshaar ek paikar-e-insaani hain. Hum inse takkar kya inke saamne qadam nahin jamasakte.
Yeh ek justaju hain, khayaalat-e-kaamila ki woh tashbeeh hain, jis men firaaq ki saari nishaaniyaan ayaan hain. Inke liye main likhna to buhat chahta hun, par shaayad kaaghaz khatam ho jayenge inki tehreem men mere alfaaz ka zakhira nahin khatam hoga.
Allah inko aabad rakhe qaaim-o-daaim rakhe aur hifz-o-amaan men rakhe.
Ghustaakhi na ho issliye ahqar pehle hi aap se maazarat ka talabgaar.

S Naami
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #43 on: May 05, 2008, 10:53:48 PM »
Yah app dono Sami jee aor Sayyid ji, ek doosre ko kaya kaya likhte ho.. bas bahoot kam hi samjh atta hai!!! waise apne sahi kaha Sami ji.. Sayyid ji kam likhte hai magar bahoot gahra likhte hai!!!
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Sayyid Randeri
Guest
«Reply #44 on: May 05, 2008, 11:01:27 PM »
Simple, deep, meaningful, bahoot khoob Sayyid ji!!!

saanso ki sargam ka dard app nahi jaante
Bin unke saason ka hona dushwaar, app nahi pehchante

Na do wo dua, jo ban jaaye badua
mar mar jeena, e-dost, app nahi jaante!!


Apki kavita ka jawab jalad he likhne ki koshish karugi..

Kuchh gam insaan ki bardasht ki hadon se baahar hote hen, kheyr!!! jeena to padta hi he.
M.rafi sa. ka geet yaad aagaya......
Bazi kisi ne pyaar ki jeeti ya haar di
Jese guzar saki ye shb-e-gam guzaar di

Uff ab aese geet n koi likhta he n koi gaata he, shayad log dard ke aehsaas ko jata ne me sharmate hen, dikhawe ke liye "ek do teen" jese behuda geet gaate hen, magar jo shayar hoga wo to behtareen asha'ar ko hi pasand karega.
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