Mehfil~~ASHQ `~~~ Saahil

by salil2002 on May 30, 2009, 11:31:17 AM
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salil2002
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maiqade mein jaam lekar sabhi ne tod diye
kissii ko sheesho ne kucch ko maye ne tadpaaya bahut

teri aankhon mein ashq dekhe toh sab muskura oothe
zaalim ka dard dekh sukoon aaya bahut

meri nafrat nahin rahi ab kissii k bhi kaabil
kii meri nafrat ko dushmano ne gale lagaya bahut

mujhe khushi bas itni rahi mehfil se rukhsat hote huye
sun k mera nagma oos roz teri aankhon ne ashq giraya bahut
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k.shael
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«Reply #1 on: May 30, 2009, 11:40:01 AM »
Wah Wah bahut Khoob Salil Ji, Clapping Smiley  Clapping Smiley

Kabhi hassa mein to kabhi roya mehfil me,
Kambhakt teri yaadoon ne tadpaaya bahut..

Tere samne laakh baar muskura kar dost,
Maine apne dil-e-gamm ko chipaya bahut..

Tu kya jaane gamm dene wale bewafa sanam,
Inn aankhon ne ashqo ka jaam giraya bahut..

Bebasi thi meri ki so bhi nahi paaya tamat-umar,
Tere khawabo ne raat-raat bhar uthaya bahut..

Shally.

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Azeem Azaad
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«Reply #2 on: May 30, 2009, 11:46:36 AM »
Mashallah BOhat Achcha LIkha Hai Aapne, Salil Bhai, Aur Shally Ji,.
Yunhi LIkhte Rahiye,.
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #3 on: May 30, 2009, 12:14:50 PM »
beautiful creation ,bahut khoob sallil ji and shally ji. Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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KHILTAGULAB
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«Reply #4 on: May 30, 2009, 12:28:44 PM »
BAHOOT KHUB SAHIL JI & SHALLY JI
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angel4u
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«Reply #5 on: May 30, 2009, 02:20:00 PM »
Bahut hi khoobsurat sahil Usual Smile
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SARVESH RASTOGI
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«Reply #6 on: May 30, 2009, 03:16:37 PM »
Zalim ka dard dekh sukun aaya bahut
kya khayal hai Salil Ji very fine very matured
wah.wah.
SARVESH RASTOGI
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Talat
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«Reply #7 on: May 30, 2009, 03:19:05 PM »
maiqade mein jaam lekar sabhi ne tod diye
kissii ko sheesho ne kucch ko maye ne tadpaaya bahut

teri aankhon mein ashq dekhe toh sab muskura oothe
zaalim ka dard dekh sukoon aaya bahut

meri nafrat nahin rahi ab kissii k bhi kaabil
kii meri nafrat ko dushmano ne gale lagaya bahut

mujhe khushi bas itni rahi mehfil se rukhsat hote huye
sun k mera nagma oos roz teri aankhon ne ashq giraya bahut

Bohot Khoob....achcha likha hai Salil Applause Applause
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Talat
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«Reply #8 on: May 30, 2009, 03:19:51 PM »
Wah Wah bahut Khoob Salil Ji, Clapping Smiley  Clapping Smiley

Kabhi hassa mein to kabhi roya mehfil me,
Kambhakt teri yaadoon ne tadpaaya bahut..

Tere samne laakh baar muskura kar dost,
Maine apne dil-e-gamm ko chipaya bahut..

Tu kya jaane gamm dene wale bewafa sanam,
Inn aankhon ne ashqo ka jaam giraya bahut..

Bebasi thi meri ki so bhi nahi paaya tamat-umar,
Tere khawabo ne raat-raat bhar uthaya bahut..

Shally.



Very nice reply Shally
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MHussain
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«Reply #9 on: May 30, 2009, 04:49:09 PM »
Well done Salil, your work is purely imaginative. You mixed up some subjects, lines display some irrelevancy to each other. I suggest you stick to one subject or use transformation of lines not letting us feel like some irrelevancy occured.
I hope you will get it.
Thanks
MH
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salil2002
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«Reply #10 on: May 31, 2009, 05:26:33 AM »
sabka shukriya..............
 mhussain saheb............aapne jo kaha hai ..............oos par amal karoonga......aainda galtiya nahin karoonga shukriya bhaijaan
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MHussain
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«Reply #11 on: May 31, 2009, 09:37:12 PM »
Errors are beneficial during the learning process, just to rectify them through gaining knowledge.

MH
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_Vicky_
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«Reply #12 on: June 01, 2009, 06:46:12 AM »
Salil Bhai.. Main to such me aapki Shayari ka Mureed Hoon.. Aur Mujhe aapki Qalam se Likhe Lafzon ko Padhne Ka Humesha Intzaar rahata hai.. Usual Smile Kyunki aap HUmeshaa Hi Kamaal likhte hain.. !!

Aur Is Baar Bhi Bahad Khubsoorat Likha Hai.. Maza aa gaya padh kar.. Bahut Bahut Khoooooooooob.. Applause Applause


**~** Mann **~**
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salil2002
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«Reply #13 on: June 01, 2009, 07:35:32 AM »
shukriya vicky bhai and MH bhai
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MHussain
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«Reply #14 on: June 02, 2009, 01:10:37 PM »
Jam pee le pee ke jee le
darde dil ko seeney men see le
bhool kar har gham ki shiddat
kho kar maey ke surur men jee le
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