Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai:Shayri-E-Dard

mamta bajpai

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Raat kaalee hai ujaale kaa koi saath naheeN
mai akelaa hee sahee phir bhee koi baat naheeN

chaaNd bhee mujhko dagha detaa ghataa me chup kar
kyaa kareN usme mere pyaar ke jazbaat naheeN

kyoN udaasi hai teri aaNkhoN me haNsee hai lab par
poocheN jo tum se to kahte ho koi baat naheeN

raat bhee royee hai mere saath ye shabnam ne kahaa
kaise samjhaaoN use aise bhee haalaat naheeN

dard hee aisaa hai mai kaise sambhaalooN isko
jo zamaane se guzar jaaoN baRhee baat naheeN

Mamta Bajpai


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Sajid_Ghayel

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #1 on: October 24, 2010, 09:30:18 AM »

Wah Mamta jee kya chupaya aur dikhaya hai apne dard ko.......really I love the way you carry the whole ghazal.......dil me ek baar aaya kuch main bhi likhu.....par himmat nahi hui.

Very well done.


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mamta bajpai

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #2 on: October 24, 2010, 05:16:31 PM »

Bahut bahut shukriyaa Sajid jee!

dil ko mile zakhm kahaaN bharte haiN
aah bhar ke yuN hee jeete marte haiN


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ParwaaZ

Guest

Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #3 on: October 24, 2010, 05:52:10 PM »

Mamta Jee Aadaab!

Aapki kalaam nazar nawaaz huyi badi masarrat huyi
Matla hi padheN hai behad umdaa raha ...

Chaliye aapki Gazal per aate hai..

Quote from: mamta bajpai on October 24, 2010, 09:25:08 AM

Raat kaalee hai ujaale kaa koi saath naheeN
mai akelaa hee sahee phir bhee koi baat naheeN

Masha Allah Mamtaa Jee .. Behad gehri soch ka moti nazar nawaaz kiya hai aapne is matle meiN waah daaad daad daad... Ekdum nayii soch ko anjaam dia hai jee aapne daad

chaaNd bhee mujhko dagha detaa ghataa me chup kar
kyaa kareN usme mere pyaar ke jazbaat naheeN

Waah jee waah aapka andaaz e bayaaN behad dilkash hai daad

kyoN udaasi hai teri aaNkhoN me haNsee hai lab par
poocheN jo tum se to kahte ho koi baat naheeN

Hmmm jee kuch apne dil ke haal sa laga hume yeH sher daad

raat bhee royee hai mere saath ye shabnam ne kahaa
kaise samjhaaoN use aise bhee haalaat naheeN

Oye hoye kia gazab ka sher kaha hai jee..
Bahut khoob daad... Is sher ka bhi andaaz e bayaaN khoob raha jee daad

dard hee aisaa hai mai kaise sambhaalooN isko
jo zamaane se guzar jaaoN baRhee baat naheeN

Waah jee waah... No words,

Mamta Bajpai

Mamtaa jee aapke sabhi sher aik se badhkar aik raheN daad hazir hai..... Kabool kijiye..

Ab humare kam ilm se hume yahaaN metter ka zikra to nahi karna chahiye per hume metter meiN gadbad lagi hai aapke is gazal meiN... Shayad aap urdu roman ko sahiN se likhi nahi hai yaa phir word ke wazan meiN nahi likhi hai isliye..

Khair is per hum bahas nahi karte humari sugesstion yeH hai ke urdu roman meiN word ke wazan ke hisab se words likhiye jisse lambi yaa choti awaaz ka pata chale..

Baki aap aik umdaa shohara hai yeh humare kahne na kahne se kuch nahi.. KoyiN baat gar nagawaar guzari ho to mazarrat chahte hai...

Likhati rahiye..
khush O aabaad rahiye...
khuda hafez...


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~Hriday~

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Mashhur Shayar

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #4 on: October 24, 2010, 10:32:06 PM »


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mamta bajpai

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #5 on: October 25, 2010, 05:10:00 PM »

Shukriya bahut bahut shukriya Hriday jee aap kee bajti hui taaliyoN kaa .....kuch na likhte hue bhee bahut kuch likh gaye ...


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mamta bajpai

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #6 on: October 26, 2010, 05:18:17 PM »

Shihab jee gazal ko pasand farmane ke liye dil se aabhaari hooN...


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mamta bajpai

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Re: Raat kaalee hai...........Mamta Bajpai

«Reply #7 on: October 26, 2010, 05:20:05 PM »

Parvez jee gazal ke liye apnaa qeematee waqt dene ,pasand farmaane or nek mashware ke liye bahut bahut shukriyaa...


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